Dealing with pissed off chicks in the field.

[Playboy]

One think I am really bad at is dealing with women who are testy, *****y, or upsett by my lines.

I use these attraction lines and for whatever reason (delivery or whatever) sometimes they come off offensive, and in print they LOOK very offensive and some of them SEEM like your trying to get a kick out of getting some sort of reaction from the girl.

So when they pick up on that kind of stuff and get pissed I either freeze up or I sympathise or back down.

I always was the perfect answer guy, the playboy ladiesman who just knew what to say to ease a woman and lower her ego. If I gave her a hard time or messed with her she knew I had her and so she wouldnt be pissed, I had earned it. There were never these situations where I am going out and saying stuff and they are getting pissed or offended with me.

So what are some good ways to deal with this sort of thing? I think it's true that any emotional reaction is better than NO reaction but I think what it comes down to in this situation is deciding if you need to calibrate or if you need to hold your ground. What do you guys use to decide this criteria? It seems whenever I hold my ground it just escalates the situation and makes it worse.

 

[everywomanshero]

There's a fine line that some guys know how to walk. There will be a point where you just know the woman is going to get pissed off, but at the last minute she gives the guy props and is attracted. I have seen several guys who could consistently get attraction this way. More oft than not it worked for them, occasionally the line would be crossed and it would backfire. That's why it's more art than science!

For me this just hasn't been the way I got attraction in most cases. My success comes from a totally different method altogether. I go in and build attraction and rapport without pushing many buttons at all. If you saw me talking to a stranger, you would think I had known her for 10 years. This doesn't get me in the friendzone, that practically never happens to me. Every now and then I do get someone really b1tchy. I choose to focus on the hundreds of positive reactions than the dozen or so negative ones. To be honest, the less I worry about it, the less of an issue it becomes. Secondly, when I just keep proceeding as normal a lot of times the person comes around. One girl I recently found out had social anxiety and I just kept plowing away and although I didn't lay her (or even try), she came up to me 2-3 months later and we ended up making out. Things aren't always what they seem.

Bottom Line: You're trying to force something to happen a certain way. Perhaps, that just isn't your style.

 

[Obsidian]

i'd just back off. I was getting a pretty good vibe from this one chick yesterday, but then I asked her a question about our surroundings which she considered sexist. She started completely overreacting ("What's that to mean?" etc.) and wouldn't really calm down. What I asked her wasn't even offensive, in my view, so the girl was obviously a hyper-feminist. Realizing that, I defended myself for a few seconds but then just told her that I wasn't going to argue with her about it. This was all during a presentation where we were sitting next to each other. I didn't say much more to her 'til the end of it, but by the time I was leaving, she was acting nicer. I think she realized she'd f*cked up with me.

 

[Snow Plowman]

You must remain unreactive, think of it as a **** test...if you react to it your going to get blown out, if your unaffected then its just that.

Hold onto your frames and don't give it up just because she gives a bad reaction.

When she reacts its like she pushes you back in your head, because you might have also been seeking a reaction so when you got a bad reaction its like "O no I fuked up..."

 

[Playboy]

Bottom Line: You're trying to force something to happen a certain way. Perhaps, that just isn't your style.

I think your onto something here. I like to try to take *****y behavior positively but I feel like if I dont show her my boundaries and standards that even if we did hook up (which we probably wouldnt because she would lose respect for me) that it would be a road to a lot of bs. I am trying to get better at observing the behavior, stating how she comes off, stating how much better she is capable of coming off (giving her something to live up to). In other words I turn it into a qualificative cold read while also laying down the boundary. Of course this is limited to certain situations, a minor or even moderate infraction would most likely be greeted with a standard and dismissive line to put her in her place gently and playfully.

 

[Playboy]

Went out again last night. Was a little more tired, a little less social, and dressed in dark colors. I notice the dark colors bring on the tougher bs and Im not sure what that is about. One guy tried to pick a fight with me, in fact a few different guys did.

As for the girls, there were a few of them that tried to pick verbal fights with me too. I have to get better with this because I am not taking advantage. I should be able to be turning that stuff into attraction. Here are a couple examples:

Girl: Do I know you?
Me: No you don't know me (turning to guy next to me) Wow she doesnt hold back does she?

Later on after I had withdrawn attention from her

Girl: Your one of those guys who comes out and just keeps ordering beer and not really doing anything hu?
Me: Not exactly but you can think whatever you want.

Another girl:

Girl: Here have a piece of gum
Me: I dont want any gum
Girl: You should have some your breath smells
Me: Yea .. probably smells like smoke.

(Now I hadnt even been talking to this girl and was not very close to her proximity so there is no way she would know whether or not it smelt. By this point it was the end of the night and I just didn't have anything to say about it.)

All I know is that these lowkey careless answers dont seem to get anything going or turn things around. It may be a good attitude to have to be indifferent towards these types of comments but it certainly doesnt seem to do much to spike attraction either. I think when you wear badass clothes the girls expect more of a badass attitude or something. Regardless I'd love to get some input on this. Right now I am thinking of having 3-4 default answers that apply to everything that I will just break out any time I get an IOD whether its fake or not.

 

[everywomanshero]

I think you should back up a step.

I think you should suspend PU for a couple of weeks and just try flirting. Don't even worry about picking up or making out with a chic, just try making one smile. Take some pressure off yourself. Pickup 101 has some pretty good banter lines you might try to use to start flirting with a girl. Basically, I think yu're going to progress faster if you back up and get good at making women smile & laugh than if you keep focusing on how to win a verbal showdown with them. You can always come back to trying to move the PU forward once you get basic bar-room social skills down.

 

[Playboy]

I think you should back up a step.

I think you should suspend PU for a couple of weeks and just try flirting. Don't even worry about picking up or making out with a chic, just try making one smile. Take some pressure off yourself. Pickup 101 has some pretty good banter lines you might try to use to start flirting with a girl. Basically, I think yu're going to progress faster if you back up and get good at making women smile & laugh than if you keep focusing on how to win a verbal showdown with them. You can always come back to trying to move the PU forward once you get basic bar-room social skills down.

Its funny you say that because that is EXACTLY what I am thinking. I just cant think fast enough for that stuff.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

Went out again last night. Was a little more tired, a little less social, and dressed in dark colors. I notice the dark colors bring on the tougher bs and Im not sure what that is about. One guy tried to pick a fight with me, in fact a few different guys did.

As for the girls, there were a few of them that tried to pick verbal fights with me too. I have to get better with this because I am not taking advantage. I should be able to be turning that stuff into attraction. Here are a couple examples:

Girl: Do I know you?
Me: No you don't know me (turning to guy next to me) Wow she doesnt hold back does she?
You want to create strong emotions, but anger and confrontation are not the ideal ones. Seduction is getting people to do what you want them to, and do you think people would want to do things for you if you make it a competition to assert your dominance or 'coolness'

Later on after I had withdrawn attention from her

Girl: Your one of those guys who comes out and just keeps ordering beer and not really doing anything hu?
Me: Not exactly but you can think whatever you want.
What you say (and eventualy they will say in return) is not playful, but confrontational.

Another girl:

Girl: Here have a piece of gum
Me: I dont want any gum
Girl: You should have some your breath smells
Me: Yea .. probably smells like smoke.

(Now I hadnt even been talking to this girl and was not very close to her proximity so there is no way she would know whether or not it smelt. By this point it was the end of the night and I just didn't have anything to say about it.)

All I know is that these lowkey careless answers dont seem to get anything going or turn things around. It may be a good attitude to have to be indifferent towards these types of comments but it certainly doesnt seem to do much to spike attraction either. I think when you wear badass clothes the girls expect more of a badass attitude or something. Regardless I'd love to get some input on this. Right now I am thinking of having 3-4 default answers that apply to everything that I will just break out any time I get an IOD whether its fake or not.
There is a thin line between badass and azzhole. Badass is not caring, azzhole is acting like you dont care, loosely veiled insecurity.

 

[penkitten]

you cant always skate thought life using lines, because some people have heard them all before. the resent having you say the same old lines, and want to categorize you in some class of guys that have previously offended them.
at that point, you have nothing to gain from them, and you must retreat and find someone else to go up and talk to OR you can choose to say something that is not a canned line, something just of yourself.