Dealing with parents

[Fabrizio]

my parents are frustrating, they dont leave me alone. ok i am 14, i just got a cell phone, and every weekend i go out but they set my curfew at 1 am. well they are always calling my phone, demanding to know where i am, making me come home, asking who i was with and such, and for a 14 yr old i smoke alot of weed, and they are starting to catch on to me and stuff. they are just always in my business and stuff its frustrating. what do i need to do to gain more trust from them so i can go out with my friends, toke, and be home whenever without running into them? is it possible?, another other 14 yr old have problems like this?
btw my parents dont know i smoke, but i want to have more freedom and do whatever i want.

 

[icallug]

double post

 

[icallug]

your already pretty lucky to be 14 and have a curfew of 1am. as of the parents, man put yourself in their shoes, how would u feel if your kid is out running around the neighbourhood, and u said they are catching on to what you do. they just want to make sure your safe.

you should start calling them to tell them where you are and when you are coming home, by doing that they will eventually trust you more and more.

 

[Fabrizio]

icallug, you got a point, but still i aint satisfied

i dont want them to know where i am, cause i am always somewhere they dont want me to be

i always say i'm doing something, i never lie, but i never tell the whole truth,

and everyone i hang out with is out all night, to early hours of the morning, and once midnight rolls around i gotta worry about finding a way home. thats what pisses me off, they hardly ever let me spend the night at a friends house, but still it pisses me off, i want more freedom, what can i do?

 

[FreeStyleZ]

well if u are always somewhere they dont want u to be and doing something they dont want u to be doing then they have a RIGHT to be upset. When you get older you'll understand.....u've got it better than most 14 year olds, feel fortunate.

 

[NRM]

You're 14. Your parents have every right to worry about you and call you when you're out in places you don't want them to know. You're still a baby, barely a teenager, can't even ride a bike without a helmet and pass for it without an anal cop pulling you over. You can't legally drive and for the most part, most 14 year olds look 14. I mean, if you were a little older, maybe 16+ you'd be able to pull off hanging out in the streets, but 14? If I were your parents, I'd worry too. 14 year olds were not meant to be out in the streets to all hours of the night.

And from your self-description, your parents should lock you up in your room if they knew how you were.

If you want more freedom, you better start acting more responsible and less upset at your parents for their rules. Start understanding and accepting their rules and then when you occasionally need some extra freedom such as spending the night at a friend's house, they'll be more likely to lend it to you. Jeez, for a 14 year old, you need to grow up. You probably don't have a job, don't pay rent, don't pay for food, don't pay for your own clothes, and your parents have been supporting you since birth. If you were 17-18 and wanted freedom, that's easy, just leave. But you don't even have the means to leave now if you could.

If you want something from your parental authority, prove to them you can handle it, and not use your extra freedom to do the things they restricted your freedom to prevent.

 

[California Love]

You have too much freedom as it is. Keep this up and a 6dollar/hour job will be waiting for you around the corner.


But 4 real bro, you sound like you have a lot of intrinsic goodness and your grammar is fine so your genetics and upbringing are nothing to worry about. Middle School is the period when every1 gets fcked up and does stupid things. If you can make it through with some discipline, it will SAVE you in the long run.

 

[Fabrizio]

dang, i just straight up got told

but i'm going to be1 5 almost, going to be a sophomore, so i aint necesarily a kid in a stroller, i can handle myself, i have done alot of stuff much of you wouldnt. a lot of people say i am atleast 17, they dont believe i am 14. i know my parents worry, but they got to know that i know what i am doing, and can handle myself, even if its not legal. a lot of my friends just get ready and be like, i'm going out, and just leave and come back whenever, no i got to ask, and tell where i am heading, then they set a time for me, and always calling me, so get frustrated, i'm not out on the streets walking, i'm just hanging with some buddies and just chillin, but my parents have to be all bogus, i havent gotten in trouble for anything, even tho i have done a lot of stuff, cause i know what i am doing and aint a little kid, if only my parents would understand that.

 

[Aerix]

Man first of all you should be lucky you have caring parents and have such a late curfue. I don't even get out till 12 at times. I don't know what you can do to gain respect from your parents but i think you need to just chill out and slow down a bit. I'm 14 myself going to be a sophmore i recently quit weed and cigarettes to keep myself living longer. Also this summer my parents got worried about me and caught me with people who were smoking cigs (i had quite 3 weeks before then) so now im grounded for 8 weeks. So dude their worried for a reason. If i were you id just called them every hour or so just to check in. My parents won't let me spend that nite and anyones house and during school my weekends are cut short to usually 10-11pm. So feel lucky you get to stay out late and weed is highly overrated my friend.

EDIT: In our parents eyes we will always be little kids so its natural for them to worry. Give them reasons not to worry to get yourself more freedom.

 

[jonny football hero]

When i first got a curfew it was at 10:30, i turned up at 10:30. Next 11, i turned up at 11, then it went to 12, see where i'm going?

You just have to show them you can stick to their rules and earn their trust.

 

[Thraxeh]

1am ? dude thats plenty of time for a 14yr old.

 

[Craig Reeves]

Heh, I know it seems that you got "straight up told" because sometimes in life we need to get "told" by someone....even as adults.

You said you were going to be turning 15. I know 15 seems older to you than it does to me, but 15 is still extremely young and if I had a kid I'd probably set his/her curfew sooner than that. I'd want to know where they are going and when, and who they are going with - and if they are going somewhere that I don't know about, I will ask them to take somebody that I know along with them. And I will also tell him/her that he/she is to call and update me every 2 hours on where they are and what's going on with them.

i know my parents worry, but they got to know that i know what i am doing, and can handle myself, even if its not legal.

It's not a matter of what you can and can't do - it's the fact that you are too young to do it. You are just too young to be on your own, you know that. As a grown man, I can tell you that being able to handle oneself involves taking advantages of the resources that are available to you for survival. For instance, in order to get to work I need a car, so I take care of my car. In order to do that, I have to make money, so I make sure I keep my job by doing what I have to do. My job, my car, and many other things are resources that I utilize everyday to survive and handle myself. YOU have resources that YOU can utilize too to handle yourself, and they're called MOM and DAD. So just like I take care for my car, YOU need to take care of your parents by doing what they ask and playing by thier rules, got it?

a lot of my friends just get ready and be like, i'm going out, and just leave and come back whenever, no i got to ask, and tell where i am heading, then they set a time for me, and always calling me, so get frustrated, i'm not out on the streets walking, i'm just hanging with some buddies and just chillin, but my parents have to be all bogus, i havent gotten in trouble for anything, even tho i have done a lot of stuff, cause i know what i am doing and aint a little kid, if only my parents would understand that.

They do understand that, but that doesn't stop them from having to do THEIR job. Do you understand?

Look, just because you're "responsible" or whatever does NOT stop them from doing their job as responsible parents. Even if they KNOW you are safe, they STILL have to do thier job anyways. Think about it: Sure I may have a full tank of gas one day, but that doesn't mean that all the gas stations in town should close just because I happen to have a full tank. Sure I'm healthy, but that doesn't mean that the hospital should close. Sure everything may be fine when you go out, but that doesn't mean that they should neglect you because they know that ANYTHING can happen. Your parents can handle themselves a whole lot better than you can. So THEY certainly know a thing or two about that skill. So if THEY don't think you can handle yourself, you probably can't. You're not mature enough to know that yet.

 

[Dimebag_Darrell]

You little ****.

Dude, you're 14 years old. Its only natural that your parents are worrying about you.

The best way to gain more freedom is through time. Smoke your weed during the day and evening and then come home at night, no biggie. 1 am curfew is pretty late curfew, I'd make the best of it.

When school starts, do your homework and get good grades because it will help you out in these kind of situations because it shows you are responsible.

Just chill man.

 

[Cyberdx16]

first off, why do somke weed? u think ur cool? u think ur a badass? well no, ur not, ur a dumbass!
second off, ur parents worry because they love you! they want whats best for you.
and third off to gain trust is to give trust. show them that they can trust you, if u say ur gonna be somewhere be there. all relationships are based on trust, thats what keeps it alive.