Dealing with last minute cancellations

[easylover]

I'm stumped guys.
I've recently had this really bad run where girls will cancel plans on me last minute, and I really don't know why!?
Seriously, here are examples of what's happened :

- Girl calls me night before asking me out for next night. I say I'll call her after work next night to organise it.. when I do her phone is off. Text her next day to ask what happened and she says "I fell asleep" :?

- Organise date for a night few days in advance. Girl sends flirty texts like "2 sleeps to go" and stuff in the days leading up to it. On day confirm about meeting spot. 1hr before meeting she calls and says she has a "family dinner". Which turns out to be eating KFC with her sister. :?

- Organise to meet a girl out at a bar, where I'm with my friends. I text her which place, she writes back she'll see me soon. Never turns up.

- Organise a drink a couple weeks in advance... have her call me on the day to make sure I'm still on, then have her cancel an hour before with some piss weak "I'm too tired, let's do it a couple weeks" response.

- Organise drinks for tonight (which is why I'm writing this). She suggested tonight a few nights ago.. she said something like "We'll make it this Thursday because I know you won't be able to bear waiting another week to see me. Just jokes "... then when I text today to work out details, she replies that she's so sorry but she's staying at a girlfriend's house the night but hopes to see me soon.

I'm at wit's end. So, here's my longwinded question.. how to deal with and counteract.

I've tried all sorts of counteractions too.
- not replying
- replying with a "Yeah no worries" type approach.
- replying with a "Oh, should have let me know because I would have made other plans" approach
- replying with a "You miss out" approach, or a "How you making it up to me" approach.

What works for you guys?

 

[Obsidian]

there's no works or does not work. There is only what you choose to do. If I'm mad, I'll show anger. If I'm disappointed, I'll try to be cool but let them know that their disrespect was not cool with me.

But no matter what I do, it has very little effect on anything else in the universe -- Because I will typically not deal any further with a woman who acts that way. You can b1tch them out if it will make you feel better; p!ss them off for all it matters, because you should never speak to these women again.

 

[easylover]

Cheers, yeah I know it's obvious to just not deal with them anymore.
Thought there might be a way to turn it around though, by either making them feel guilty, or wondering why you don't care etc..

Maybe the ones that do that are the ones that are used to having guys suck up to them.

Either way, if there's a way I can turn this situation where I'm not going to bother with them anymore (ie so it doesn't really matter), into a way I can f**k them (then leave them), it would be nice

 

[easylover]

Dude, no offence, and thanks for reading my post, but that's the worst most blatant attempt at creating jealousy reply I've ever read. And no I don't think that low of myself :?
Edit - you've changed your first line I see..

I'm not into desparation here, I've been getting as much as has been turned away...I just was wondering if anyone had successfully turned these situations around, as they have popped up a few times recently. I wasn't after theories on what might work, I was interested in stuff people have tried.

But whilst we're on theories, why do they flake like this?

Ignoring has worked before in at least getting a reaction.. I got a reply the next day "are you upset with me?".. but I didn't bother following it up.

 

[PlaysToWin]

There is nothing theoretical about this at all.

They flake because they are not interested in you.

Therefore any further communication by you is a waste of your valuable time and energy.

Therefore ignoring them totally is probably best.

Even *if* it were possible to turn the situation around, why would you want to? They have done you a favour by tipping you off to their low character and integrity early before you have anything invested.

 

[easylover]

OK fair enough, I gather that obviously it's because I'm a low priority...although surely there's some level of interest if they are the ones organising the dates and doing the asking out? Ah well, all headf*8ks aren't they.. guess you guys are just telling me what I already knew.

 

[PlaysToWin]

Don't take it personally. Girls flake all the time. It's generally because they give out their number or tentatively arrange dates with all sorts of guys for all sorts of reasons, even ones that they decide later they just aren't interested in. They can just be wishy-washy like that.

Just don't let it get you down. No man on the face of the earth can manage a 100% interest rate but you're obviously still more approachable than the average guy (if girls are asking you out at all) so that should put you in good shape to find women with more integrity.

It's all a numbers game.

 

[easylover]

Thanks PlaysToWin for the pep up. You're right.
Ha, even as I was feeling down about this and writing this thread, a girl that I slept with last weekend texted to make plans for this weekend.
It's just weird how ego works... I can't give a crap because I know she's into me... but the ones who flake play on your mind!

 

[ketostix]

Here's a suggestion for how to reply to girls who flake with a BS excuse and a lame counteroffer. It's related to nexting. Say something along the lines of, "No that's OK. If you couldn't follow through on plans this time, why would I think you could next time (or why would I want to make plans with you again)" She'll feel the sting of rejection and the challenge and a lot of times will try to prove herself.

 

[Cremasta]

Stop telling them you'll confirm plans on the day.

Make a decision when the suggestion of the 'date' first comes up. If you keep telling them that you'll call on the day to organise things, they'll probably get another offer in the meantime.