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Dealing with Higher SMV Intimidation

Smartone84

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And I'm not talking about being out with a 7 or 7.5. I'm talking when it gets to the 8 and above level. I These days my frame is the best its ever been and my game is close to razor sharp, yet one area I still can't seem to master is fighting the intimidation of being out with a super hot/beautiful higher SMV woman in the 8 or above range. I'll always play it cool on dates and say/ask the right things, but girls, especially high SMV girls seem to just have this sixth sense where they ALWAYS pick up on how much you really want them.

This all isn't saying I feel like I don't "deserve" a woman of this magnitude of looks, bc I feel like I do, but I guess sometimes I just get a tad too excited. It's hard to fight. I feel like even texting them 2 days after a first date asking them out for a second date makes me feel desperate.

Any info/advice on how to improve?
 

guru1000

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And I'm not talking about being out with a 7 or 7.5. I'm talking when it gets to the 8 and above level. I These days my frame is the best its ever been and my game is close to razor sharp, yet one area I still can't seem to master is fighting the intimidation of being out with a super hot/beautiful higher SMV woman in the 8 or above range. I'll always play it cool on dates and say/ask the right things, but girls, especially high SMV girls seem to just have this sixth sense where they ALWAYS pick up on how much you really want them.

This all isn't saying I feel like I don't "deserve" a woman of this magnitude of looks, bc I feel like I do, but I guess sometimes I just get a tad too excited. It's hard to fight. I feel like even texting them 2 days after a first date asking them out for a second date makes me feel desperate.

Any info/advice on how to improve?
You can't totally eliminate the fear until you embrace it and are consistently exposed to hotter women. Any attempt to conceal (your fear) will be sniffed out in your sub-communications.

So just go on the dates bold, shameless, and unapologetical for your desire for her and your fear of the dynamic. Embrace and showcase the fear, instead of attempting to conceal it. As you gain more practice with hotter women, you will re-condition, and the fear will organically dissipate.
 

Who Dares Win

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Behave as you bough a high volatility stock, be prepared to the idea that it may be the best ride of your life as much as a total failure.

It's normal that your gut makes you feel uncomfortable when you are running on 5th gear on the highway yet its still more fun than driving in the city traffic.
 

Smartone84

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So just go on the dates bold, shameless, and unapologetical for your desire for her and your fear of the dynamic. Embrace and showcase the fear, instead of attempting to conceal it. As you gain more practice with hotter women, you will re-condition, and the fear will organically dissipate.
Well put, although it's easier said than done for me landing a date with an 8 or higher. I think part of the problem is that I'm down to go out with a 5 as long as she seems normal and cool just as much as I'm down to go out with an 8 so I never get that consistent experience with hotter girls. I wonder if I should truly set "standards"? I don't consider myself picky and at my age I try and be as open as possible. That being said, it's just hard when you go from constantly dating an average of let's say 6.5's to one day meeting up with an 8.5.

Any attempt to conceal (your fear) will be sniffed out in your sub-communications.
Let me ask you this, if anything, what can you pinpoint as far as examples of this? This always seems to be my issue over the years. Whenever I go for a second or maybe third date with a hot woman that I'm obviously into, sending the text for the date just always feels like an uphill battle. My confidence has gotten higher over time now, but I still struggle with these thoughts.

Here's an example for you: Was talking to a legit HB8.5 on Match.com. Asked her out for a Thursday after a good few messages(should have probably just asked when she was free this week). She was busy but said she would definitely like to go sometime. I got the vibe that I asked for the date a little too soon. Anyway, she gives me her number and I text her a couple of days later on Weds. I tell her how i know she's busy Thursday but "Just let me know when you're free" and we'll grab a drink. I didn't push for another straight up date bc I felt i'd come off as too needy. Instead I put the ball in her court. She responded saying "I definitely will!". That was Weds. Haven't heard from her since as I figured. What would YOU do next?
 

Billtx49

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Here's an example for you: Was talking to a legit HB8.5 on Match.com. Asked her out for a Thursday after a good few messages(should have probably just asked when she was free this week). She was busy but said she would definitely like to go sometime. I got the vibe that I asked for the date a little too soon. Anyway, she gives me her number and I text her a couple of days later on Weds. I tell her how i know she's busy Thursday but "Just let me know when you're free" and we'll grab a drink. I didn't push for another straight up date bc I felt i'd come off as too needy. Instead I put the ball in her court. She responded saying "I definitely will!". That was Weds. Haven't heard from her since as I figured. What would YOU do next?
Shifting from a first definite date day ask to anytime she’s free second ask is in itself a signal of needy behavior to her.
 
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guru1000

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Let me ask you this, if anything, what can you pinpoint as far as examples of this? This always seems to be my issue over the years. Whenever I go for a second or maybe third date with a hot woman that I'm obviously into, sending the text for the date just always feels like an uphill battle. My confidence has gotten higher over time now, but I still struggle with these thoughts.
You convolute the process in your mind. Go on the date, have fun. Shoot her a text the next day, "Had a great time last night. Let's do it again Thur night, 8 p.m. if you're free."

Anything other than a yes or counteroffer, move on.

You treat a hot women as you would any other. Just ask for the date. If she is interested, she will make it easy for you.

Smartone84 said:
Here's an example for you: Was talking to a legit HB8.5 on Match.com. Asked her out for a Thursday after a good few messages(should have probably just asked when she was free this week). She was busy but said she would definitely like to go sometime. Anyway, she gives me her number and I text her a couple of days later on Weds. I tell her how i know she's busy Thursday but "Just let me know when you're free" and we'll grab a drink. I didn't push for another straight up date bc I felt i'd come off as too needy. Instead I put the ball in her court. She responded saying "I definitely will!". That was Weds. Haven't heard from her since as I figured. What would YOU do next?
You asked for the date, and she declined with no counteroffer. That's the message. Now you move on. If she is interested enough, she will reach out to you.

After her decline, just employ Silence and Distance. If she is interested enough, she will reach out to you on her own accord without your having to let her know to reach out to you when she's free.
 

Smartone84

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Fair points. Simply saying "Let me know when you're free" isn't exactly the greatest approach when looking back.
 

Smartone84

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I've certainly made my fair share of mistakes like this. Today, I tell women what day I want to get together, what it is, specifically, I want to do and will even tell them I cant wait to get my hands on their fine asses in the process. I have learned that it is actually better leading in this way and forcing them to protest against such things (counteroffer dates, suggesting something else to do, etc.) so they feel like they have a voice once in a while too, rather than offering them the kind of flexibility that puts them in the driver's seat more often then they care to be with a man.
So in my situation described above, where she turned down the initial offer for Thursday but then said she definitely would still like to go to (the bar I named), and subsequently gave me her number, how exactly would you have handled it going forward? Perhaps something like "So let's catch up in a few days and we'll figure out a good time for grabbing a drink"
 
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