Dealing with guilt

[bish0p]

Been practicing this stuff for 6 or 7 years off and on (off because of relationships) and one thing that holds me back is guilt. This usually happens when I want to break things off with a woman. Guilt has kept me going back to previous ex's, who I would break up with, only to dump them again.

With my last ltr, the last time I tried to reconcile with her, she rejected me (which stung), but has tried to contact me a couple of times since to which I would always reply even though I knew better. Every time she contacted me, I would send out these long, drawn out messages on why we can't be together and she would get pissed at me and stop contacting me for a while which would me feel like I owe her something.

I've done this with most of the women in my life as I always have a difficult time letting go. I am friends with another ex, who has now started rejecting my advances because I kept going back to the other girl. She sent me gifts for the longest time and for some reason, I always felt bad about this.

This feeling of guilt also prevents me from rejecting girls who I don't want to be with such as women I'm not attracted to.

I know that this is detrimental to my improvement, and I also feel that my last to ltr's have used this against me and tried to take advantage of it when I break up with them.

Anyway to overcome this as I'm tired of being Captain Save-a-ho

 

[bish0p]

Growing up, I studied a lot of Eastern philosophies, but not necessarily Zen Buddhism.

I was reading a thread today where I somewhat recall you (not sure if it was you are not) suggesting to someone that they read Way of the Peaceful Warrior. That is actually one of my favorite books and I was a bit surprised to see it mentioned on this site.

 

[Dubh]

look up spinning plates i know this will help you out alot my man

 

[schttrj]

i understand where you are coming from. do something...chalk out your goal. don't feed your ego. don't 'spin plates' just because you can. do it only if you WANT to. that's what i suggest you. Ron.

 

[bish0p]

Thanks for the replies, guys. It is difficult trying to keep my ego in check, that's why the last relationship I had hurt so much when she rejected me.

Even now, the other ex I was talking about who rejected my advances is now begging for me to talk to her, literally.

Bishop, can I call you? Please? Or can you call me? I am missing you and I feel real lonely. Please? I am begging you..

Bishop.. could you call me, please? I am excited and want to ask you about the position. Please.. I am begging you..

How can a person possibly ignore this?

Damn, why did I have to be born so sexy?