Dealing with female stalking

[LowPlainsDrifter]

I did a forum search on "stalking" and "dealing with stalking" and didn't get satisfactory results.
Here's the situation:

I met a gal who is seven years older than myself during a consulting job in a nearby city.
Right away, she was the agressor - although we swapped numbers, she called me about 90% of the time.
We hung out nearly every day at lunch, and a few times after work.
No sex yet, but heavy makeout sessions. (Her place was out of the question, and my place was because of distance and both of our work schedules. Hotels are expensive where we were).
The job ends, and now she still calls me nearly every day.
She broke a record yesterday - Between my home phone and cell phone, she called me about eleven times, usually without leaving a message!
While I was on that job, I thought I made it clear to her that I own a business that ties me up for up to 14 hrs a day, seven days a week, and that it was my priority in life right now - not women.
Anyhow, that many calls is in the "stalking" category, and at this point, I think I'm not interested in seeing her again.
I've thought about calling her and saying "look, you're calling too many times and that's a bit nuts."
But I think the best thing is just to not pick up or return calls until she goes away.
Luckily, she's a bit far away and she's unlikely to meet up with me if she decides to "pay me a visit" because I'm on the road seeing clients all day.
Anyhow, does anyone agree more with the "ignore" stragegy, or should I be more proactive?

Mods: If you still feel this thread is a rehash of older stuff, that's fine - but please suggest a search strategy...

 

[brucevangeorge]

Why havent you banged her yet? She obviously wants you so bad that shes "stalking" you. Take advantage of this and screw her brains out dude.

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by brucevangeorge
Why havent you banged her yet? She obviously wants you so bad that shes "stalking" you. Take advantage of this and screw her brains out dude.

I was thinking the same thing, Youve already got yourself a Bunny Boiler so why not get at least something useful out of this nut?

A bunny boiler that you havent even tapped yet? lol youve gotta be the unluckiest dude around.

 

[DJDamage]

Originally posted by ( . )( . )
I was thinking the same thing, Youve already got yourself a Bunny Boiler so why not get at least something useful out of this nut?

A bunny boiler that you havent even tapped yet? lol youve gotta be the unluckiest dude around.

I got a joke for you: What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine??

A Washing machine will not follow you around for a whole month after you put a load in it.
:crackup:

But seriously, If he bangs her he will never get rid of her.

 

[LowPlainsDrifter]

Yup, DJ Damage - I'm definitely in your camp on this one. Sleeping with someone definitely ups the ante.

I knew another woman who was 13 yrs older than myself, but she was a real beauty - large green eyes, 5'1", slim, naturally toned, c-cup breasts, tiny waist, nice butt.

I missed a couple of opportunities with her, but I'm glad (in a sense) that I never took them, because she was pretty crazy too.


But does anyone have specific ideas? I've read that in general, any acknowledgement, even a call back to say "go away" fuels a stalker - better just to ignore them completely.

 

[spider_007]

guy is asking for advice on haw to get rid of her and your giving him sh1t for not hooking her on even more

 

[diplomatic_lies]

Hold hands with a man when you see her next time.

Out-stalk her.

Tell her that she's freaking you out (doesnt work if this gets her off)

Become a total AFC and scare HER away!

 

[Wyldfire]

Calling a lot is certainly annoying...but it's not stalking. Calling a lot isn't something you should complain about UNLESS you tell the person not to call so much.

Call the woman and back and tell her she's being too needy and it's turned you off and you don't want to see her anymore.

IF she continues to call you after that THEN you have reason to complain.

And before anyone accuses me of siding with the woman...I tell female friends the same damn thing when they complain about guys calling non-stop. Tell the person they are being annoying and it turns you off and now you don't want to see them anymore. It might prevent them from annoying the next person they get involved with.

A lot can be said for honesty.

Ironically, my 14 year old son has this chunky cross eyed girl who has a crush on him. He wants her to leave him alone and has TOLD her to leave him alone. She is constantly knocking on the door, following him around and asked his older sister where he works. His sister told the girl "He doesn't like you. Leave him alone. It's none of your business where he works. Go away." Now, this girl won't stop it...and she says very sexually inappropriate things to him. She is sexually harassing my son and her behavior borders on stalking. But that is only because he has told her to leave him the hell alone and she still bugs him. Until you tell this woman to get lost, you can't accuse her of stalking you. Because you showed interest in her (just like those girls who show interest in the annoying AFCs), she's just trying to pursue more with you.

Tell her you aren't interested. If she doesn't stop then tell her you will file harassment charges against her if she doesn't leave you alone. Then follow throuh if she continues.

I'm about to take my kid to the police about this girl if she doesn't knock it off. I'm going to track down her parents first, though, since she's a minor. I doubt they'd be very impressed with some of the crap she's saying.

 

[Paradox]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
Calling a lot is certainly annoying...but it's not stalking. Calling a lot isn't something you should complain about UNLESS you tell the person not to call so much.

Call the woman and back and tell her she's being too needy and it's turned you off and you don't want to see her anymore.

IF she continues to call you after that THEN you have reason to complain.

Next time she calls tell her you are not interested. Then you can ingore her calls. And yes constant calling is stalking.

 

[brucevangeorge]

excuse me? if he bangs her he wont get rid of her? who gives a ****?

youve got a girl thats pretty much all over you. FB material dude. feeling horny one night? screw her. things not going well and your girl left? screw her. tired after a long workout? screw her. .... you get the picture.

its 24/7 pu$$y you got there.

 

[DJDamage]

Originally posted by brucevangeorge
excuse me? if he bangs her he wont get rid of her? who gives a ****?

youve got a girl thats pretty much all over you. FB material dude. feeling horny one night? screw her. things not going well and your girl left? screw her. tired after a long workout? screw her. .... you get the picture.

its 24/7 pu$$y you got there.

You are 18 without a clue. To you pvssy is the holy grail! You worship the pvssy instead of the pvssy worshipping you!

When a chick calls you all the time, she does not want to be FB! she wants a relationship and to have him all to her self. He does not want that. If he wants to persue other women, this woman will scare them away by either threatning them or harassing them.

Lesson to be learned: Never pursue women you are not really interested in.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by Paradox
Next time she calls tell her you are not interested. Then you can ingore her calls. And yes constant calling is stalking.

Any behavior can only be considered stalking once the person being annoyed tells the other person to stop.

 

[Page]

You could always kill her...

 

[Deep Dish]

Here is my opininon for all its worth.

I take a legal and not colloquial definition to stalking and the situation described above hardly fits the bill. The woman clearly has incredibly high interest but incredibly high interest does not constitute stalking. Otherwise, with such a loose standard which is profane to what is real stalking, any behavior by a woman with incredibly high interest could constitute “stalking”. This all sounds to me a mirror image to how girls complain they have “stalkers” when often in actuality that is hardly the case. If a woman calls on the phone eleven times in one day, especially compounded by a majority absence of leaving a message, without being told that the behavior is inappropriate, she is not in the wrong. She doesn’t know. For goodness sakes, you—LowPlainsDrifter—said you hung out with her nearly every day at lunch and engaged in heavy makeout sessions. With that previous level of daily and intimate contact, how is she to know better? In accordance with what others have advised, tell her the frequency of phone calls is too much for you and then go from there.

 

[LowPlainsDrifter]

I haven't told her to stop, because yesterday was the first time she ever called excessively.

Wydfire - thanks for the clear-headed advice.

Look, of course I wouldn't mind if she wants a "friends with benefits" relationship - but I agree with other posters that say she's looking for more.

I think she's "hubby hunting." My evidence: when I told her I needed to really clean my apt before inviting her over, she responds with a set of pics of her house in Indiana (she lives in NYC right now), and there's a banner wishing someone a happy birthday. I asked her who that was, she replied, "that's my daughter!" Something she conveniently forgot to mention after knowing me for a few weeks.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by LowPlainsDrifter
I haven't told her to stop, because yesterday was the first time she ever called excessively.

Wydfire - thanks for the clear-headed advice.

Look, of course I wouldn't mind if she wants a "friends with benefits" relationship - but I agree with other posters that say she's looking for more.

I think she's "hubby hunting." My evidence: when I told her I needed to really clean my apt before inviting her over, she responds with a set of pics of her house in Indiana (she lives in NYC right now), and there's a banner wishing someone a happy birthday. I asked her who that was, she replied, "that's my daughter!" Something she conveniently forgot to mention after knowing me for a few weeks.

You're quite welcome.

You probably shouldn't assume that all single mothers are looking for a father for their child or children. Although some are like that, it's not as common as you'd think. Most single Mom's just want whoever she's involved with to like, respect and treat her kid/s well. Wouldn't you want the same if you had a child?

Unfortunately, a lot of men make assumptions about this issue...and they're wrong more often than not.

There IS a serious disadvantage to getting involved with single parents, though. If you get attached to their children and grow to care about them and it doesn't work out, you end up missing them and they miss you. If things end on a good note then sometimes you can keep contact, but if they end on a bad note, the ex and the child/ren end up suffering from it. If anything is going to discourage you from dating or getting involved with someone with children, that should be it. It shouldn't be over something that is often just an imagined and non-existant issue.

Tell this woman to lay off the phone calls. Deal with her in the same way you'd want someone to deal with you if you were going overboard with phone calls.

 

[Q-Pid]

Dude no **** - how do you handle this. I'mnot playing hard to get - I want to be left alone.

I'm scared.

 

[brucevangeorge]

If youre not interested, how is that considered a pursuit?