"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Dealing with feelings of regret

Comatozed

Senior Don Juan
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I don't know what's gotten into me lately, I have a few plates, none of which i'm particularly into, but it's a better position now than it was a couple of months ago.

Yet a couple of months ago I was over my oneitus, and now for some unbeknown frustrating reason I keep thinking of her. I haven't seen or spoken to her for 5 months and the relationship itself was for less than that. She was the first girl i had feelings for.

I'm starting to worry if i will ever fully not care. Any advice?

What pains me the most, is that if I knew what I know now back then, i'm 100% I woulda played it in a way in which her high interest to begin woulda got higher... it's eating me up tbh... I wasn't the guy she initially thought I was back then... but I am now, or at least I know now how to give off that image. I was anything but a challenge and probably really needy.

The night I met her I had taken a bit of md, and looking back I was doing all the things taught in game just by chance. Negs/kino/qualiying and there was a real spark. I haven't come close to repeating that with anyone, and i often feels forced and not a natural enjoyable interaction like that was.

This has turned into a bit of a ramble. Anyone been in a similar situation and moved on?

I'm pretty **** at picking up girls and basically relying on tinder as of now, which makes my quest to find someone better than oneitus even harder.

Guessing the verdict will be continue to improve yourself in all areas and start cold approaching? I'll be damned if i need online dating, yet my social circle are all coupled up.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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jimmy18

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Time heals all, as long as:

1. You remain NC with her
2. You keep spinning plates and meeting new women
 

Zapp Brannigan

Senior Don Juan
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You should really try to make another move if you can. The feeling of regret and not knowing is worse than any rejection you might receive. If things don't work out, you'd know for sure that it's not meant to be, and won't have to wonder.

You can't force yourself to get over someone. If circumstances are against you right now when it comes to trying things again with this oneitius, just live your life like Hank Moody. Don't blow any chances, keep some good plates spinning, but never blow a true chance with your oneitus if it presents itself.
 

Comatozed

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Yea circumstances are really against tbh. She lives in a city 60 miles away and I removed her on FB and unfollowed her on twitter. We have 0 mutual friends so unless I randomly bump into her on the rare occasions I go out in her city then I likely won't ever see her again.

I feel like any attempt to contact again is from a weak place, because lets be honest, if I had found someone else, I wouldn't be messaging a girl that lives 60 miles away. But I thought we got on..and I did nothing to convince her otherwise when she ended it, I went n/c hoping it would have some positive effect and it didnt.
 

soden

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Comatozed said:
Yea circumstances are really against tbh. She lives in a city 60 miles away and I removed her on FB and unfollowed her on twitter. We have 0 mutual friends so unless I randomly bump into her on the rare occasions I go out in her city then I likely won't ever see her again.

I feel like any attempt to contact again is from a weak place, because lets be honest, if I had found someone else, I wouldn't be messaging a girl that lives 60 miles away. But I thought we got on..and I did nothing to convince her otherwise when she ended it, I went n/c hoping it would have some positive effect and it didnt.
Bold = everything you need to know
Green = your answer to your own question
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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