Dealing with disrespectful female friends

[mbas44]

Im sure this has been covered somewhere but anyways. The other night i was on the phone with a woman Ive been friends with for almost a year. We dont talk a ton she texts me all the time and we banter back and forth this is strictly a platonic thing, and we generally get on pretty well and shes been a good friend to me. Well the other nite she pretty much spent the whole conversation throwing digs at me, kind of sarcastic, etc. Usually I just laugh **** like this off but it was getting to me and made me wonder where the hell she suddenly thought she could talk to me like this? I was so taken aback that I prettty much let it slide but the more I thought about it after the more upset I got. I know I shoulda just told her I had to go and Id talk to her later but I guess it kind of caught me off guard. So basically I let it sit for a couple days while I collected my thoughts and I told her last night that basically I didnt appreciate the way she spoke to me the other nite and it felt like she was trying to bring me down.if she wanted to continue being my friend she should basically be more mindful of what she said. Of course she said she was only kidding and thinks highly of me etc.. Its just something ive always had a problem with, when I am close with someone I have a hard time telling if they are kidding or crossing the line. My gut told me she was. To a degree I know if i wanted to I could hurt her way worse than she could me so I always kinda laugh off her sarcasm etc, but the other nite seemed different. anyhow just wondering how some of you guys handle stuff like this again its not anyone Id ever date or anything like that but thought Id see how you guys viewed it. thanks.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

It's called negging dear. They do it too. She wants to f*ck you. And is gutted she's in the friendzone. Fullstop.

 

[Bible_Belt]

It's called negging dear. They do it too. She wants to f*ck you. And is gutted she's in the friendzone. Fullstop.

I agree completely.

Men and women can't be friends. Just give up on that idea.

 

[hudpes]

Respectfully disagree, men and women can be friends. There is some level of attraction you feel for any female, but there is a different threshold of when you would cross the line. Two out of three best friends I've got are women. One of them would take jabs at me sometimes, but it's a part of her nature and they are, soft, humorous and no way near harsh. The other one is extremely respectful, but very direct, also part of her nature. Stinging jabs are neither funny, nor friendly sarcasm, and I wouldn't dignify them by calling them neg hitting.

It could be that your friend indeed has a crush on you, but you are too blind to see, hence the strength of neg hitting cut you. Or she likes you, but has no respect for you and you seem wimpy to her, so maybe she wanted to evoke strength in you, in that you might counter attack. Whichever the case, I don't think this is normal among good friends.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Men and women can be friends, though it is unusual for it to be (if ever) completely platonic.

Female associates/mates/colleagues all treat me differently when they know I'm seeing someone, compared to when they think I'm definitely single.

When I am 'single' I get a royal mixture of hard core negging (they are as bad, if not worse than most guys I know - women are far more insecure in general and it's easier to transfer that insecurity by highlighting the flaws of others), innuendo and sexual suggestion.

When I am 'attached', they become quite indifferent and the negging just becomes more like spiteful/embittered jealousy (albeit poorly masked by 'sarcastic' intonation); as the OP appears to be experiencing - a year in, she's probably realised she is little more than a mate.