Dealing with chicks from facebook on first dates if you dont look as good as your pic

[pete101]

I have a lot of dates and meetings with girls from Facebook but they do not lead to anything more as whenever I meet them they seem to have this shocked look on their face that i don't look as good as my photo.

The thing is it's not touched up or photoshopped or anything and so I took a new one instead but I still encounter the same shocked expression when I meet them.

Because it essentially is like an internet date but not formally called that, should you still be able to get past this issue as a DJ?

Like my game usually goes out the window once I see that look of shock on their faces. In theory should my game be enough for them to overlook my average looks and what can I do during the dates to offset this?

 

[MacAvoy]

Maybe try a different avenue. The facebook thing isn't obviously working because of the picture thing so why not try something where their initial impression of you isn't a picture. Like maybe say approaching people in real life.

 

[ZenGodMod]

There are some people that are photogenic, then there is me. The camera and I don't see eye to eye.

Its life.

However a photo shouldn't determine your success with women, you do. You as a whole!

 

[Warrior74]

Post a video on your site. Show's more in real life. I hate those girls who are very very photogenic and then when you meet them its like, eek!

 

[DonGorgon]

if your pic is an 8 and you are a 5 you are doomed.. especially if she is young and hot..

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

In what way do you look SO different than your picture?

 

[MotownMack]

I have a lot of dates and meetings with girls from Facebook but they do not lead to anything more as whenever I meet them they seem to have this shocked look on their face that i don't look as good as my photo.

This really isn't you, IMO, this just happens. I have some say I look better, some say I look worse, etc. And I have had the same happen with my opinions of the girls I've met.

On my profile, I have about 6 pictures up, all recent, and taken with a digital camera. It could also be your style of dress, how you act when you meet them-lack of strong eye contact, smiling, etc.

Remember a picture is just a two dimensional image that people perceive a certain way. People may not all see it the same way.

Quick story: Was chatting with a girl that I liked, and I had up recent pics I am talking about. I sent the images to not one, but three different girls that knew me in real life and asked "Hey, I don't wanna put up terrible pictures obviously, but I want them to be accurate. Do these look like me? They're not too good or misrepresentative?"

All three said no, they were good-IOW, decent pictures that were accurate that didn't make me look too good or too bad. These are girls I knew would be honest about it, too.

Still I met a girl that I could tell liked my pics better than she like the actual me.

If you want my opinion, this is just the price of online dating. About the only possible solution is if you were to put up really bad pictures and then they'd be pleasantly surprised when they met you. Maybe- that is if they still didn't like the picture better, since at some level beauty is suggestive.

Don't get discourage-just try to make the pictures accurate and keep going. Online is good for practice, and good for adding plates when you don't have time to go out.

 

[drak_ool]

i really don't understand what you re talking about... you only have 1 pic of you on facebook? usually pple have 100+ from what they ve posted and what their friends have posted, so i don't see how you can look so stunning in all those pics and how you can look so different in real life

 

[ProDJ26]

pete 101, why would you care if you don't look as good as your pic?

I'm not gay but YOU SHOULD LOOK BETTER THAN YOUR PIC!!!

HAVE SOME CONFIDENCE YOUNG DJ!!!!

 

[MotownMack]

i really don't understand what you re talking about... you only have 1 pic of you on facebook?

I know you didn't say you only had one pic, OP, but this could be a problem-have at least 5 or 6, that will help big time.

In theory should my game be enough for them to overlook my average looks and what can I do during the dates to offset this?

Online dating is a little different. She's reacting to you in terms of the image she has in her head (to some extent, probably making you look better in her head, if she likes your personality), so in that sense, online dating is actually a little tougher on looks than RL, IMO.

Your game ALWAYS helps, but your photo should at least be in the ball park.
Plus, one of the problems with online dating vs. real life. When you're on the phone or whatever, or even meeting her in the club, your game is "on" and she's diggin you or whatever-you have her in "state" at that point.

When you meet her, it's almost a cold approach to some extent. That's the biggest flaw with online dating. Whatever you do, don't just sit there and expect all the game you ran earlier to get you in the door. Start it over, quickly and smoothly. Also, don't wait too long to meet-that will only exasperate this problem.

I met one chick (HB7) who I was getting a weird vibe from at first. It got even weirder when she said something like "I probably should have mentioned this, but I kinda sorta been seeing somebody." Naturally, I took this as girl speak for "I'm not that into you, so don't expect this to go anywhere." I figured it was a lie, that she wasn't that into me in prson. I was kind of annoyed and somewhat dejected, and was half tempted to ask for the check at that point (we were having a few drinks at local bar).

But I didn't. I figured, fvck it... I wasn't totally into her either, so I was gonna hang in there and just go DJ on her (practice, if nothing else). After a drink or two, her knee was touching mine, she was playfully pushing me/punching me, rubbing against me, and flirting like hell. Long story short, I turned that one around because I just kept doing what worked before when we talked on the phone.

Don't expect the previous rapport to count for too much when you meet- get busy doing what worked for you to get her there in the first place.

 

[thedeparted]

I am the opposite. I don't get many internet dates b/c I don't look good in pics. But women tell me later that I look MUCH BETTER IN PERSON.

Translation: They didn't think I was that attractive, but then they meet me, they have fun, so I got better looking in their mind.

If you have the opposite problem, it means your game is not as good as your face. You need to work on your game.

Moreover, that "shocked look on their face" is in your head. They might be nervous. They might have to pee. They might be having their period. Who knows what is going on in their brain. But you gotta run your game anyway. Play through the set. Like a standup in a dead house, you try to turn that shlt around once you're there, you don't give up.

Do that, and you will start getting "better looking in person," too. And then it's a non-issue.

 

[izza]

I am the opposite. I don't get many internet dates b/c I don't look good in pics. But women tell me later that I look MUCH BETTER IN PERSON.

Translation: They didn't think I was that attractive, but then they meet me, they have fun, so I got better looking in their mind.

If you have the opposite problem, it means your game is not as good as your face. You need to work on your game.

Moreover, that "shocked look on their face" is in your head. They might be nervous. They might have to pee. They might be having their period. Who knows what is going on in their brain. But you gotta run your game anyway. Play through the set. Like a standup in a dead house, you try to turn that shlt around once you're there, you don't give up.

Do that, and you will start getting "better looking in person," too. And then it's a non-issue.

I like what you say: you need to work on your game and then this is a non-issue.

You know, it's funny that the OP is so worried about this. I dress *down* pretty much all the time, just to keep working on real social skills. Picking up is more fun with a challenge anyway. It's just so easy otherwise.

I need to feel like the interaction is about who I am, not how I look. So I love looking worse than usual - I bring out personality to make up the difference. I actually feel my best that way. When I look amazing, I am just so unmotivated to interact. Everything is so easy. It's boring, honestly.

I like being in your situation dude, it's fun. You should see my unkempt hair and scraggly beard dude. Chicks are shocked, especially the ones who knew me when I dressed normally. Believe me, social skills are much more important than my looks.

PS I showed up to my office job the other day actually shaven and dressed in a button down shirt, leather shoes, and stylish jeans - for the first time in months. Everyone was shocked it was hilarious. They're like Oh oh you look great today!

I was like, "I know. Just keeping you on your toes. "

Izza