Dealing with BPD ex.

[Plutoman]

I typically try to wrestle with questions myself before jumping for internet advice, but I'm unsure here.

Story: met this girl online, we had been acquaintances for years, started skype calls and it was off to the races. This was nearly 3 years ago. 8 months later.. she moved in with me.. crossing the world and passing up scholarships from her 39 ib score. A year and a half later, she's gotten distant, our sex life is horrid, she's partying with guys that she makes sure I never meet and deletes text convos from them. Says it's innocent, had a bout of hallucinations, her dad's family has history of schizo (she doesnt know her dad), she breaks down crying with stories of how her uncle molested her and she's just remembering it all in flash backs and it's why she can't bring herself to have sex.

She refuses to get treatment for a long while, and she moves out not long after closer to uni - I commute. I broke up with her 2 weeks later, start dating other girls, getting into the manosphere and learning quite a lot. She sees me with girls, she tells me how much she misses me, she jumps when I say jump, etc etc. Problem being she's not going to change her ways, she's still resistant to proper care, and I'm not sure I could trust her. She doesn't want to get back together if I have a list of demands for her. I'm well aware that I should be running as fast as I can. I just cut contact today.

Dilemma being; this girl moved 10k miles to be with me, and has called me out on saying that me and my family would be there for her no matter what happened. I'm feeling incredibly guilty for ditching her, yet I know I need to fully move on from this.

Am I doing the right thing? Should I try and stay friends and support her in getting help? Else, how can I get past this guilt?

 

[georgetheman]

I typically try to wrestle with questions myself before jumping for internet advice, but I'm unsure here.

Story: met this girl online, we had been acquaintances for years, started skype calls and it was off to the races. This was nearly 3 years ago. 8 months later.. she moved in with me.. crossing the world and passing up scholarships from her 39 ib score. A year and a half later, she's gotten distant, our sex life is horrid, she's partying with guys that she makes sure I never meet and deletes text convos from them. Says it's innocent, had a bout of hallucinations, her dad's family has history of schizo (she doesnt know her dad), she breaks down crying with stories of how her uncle molested her and she's just remembering it all in flash backs and it's why she can't bring herself to have sex.

She refuses to get treatment for a long while, and she moves out not long after closer to uni - I commute. I broke up with her 2 weeks later, start dating other girls, getting into the manosphere and learning quite a lot. She sees me with girls, she tells me how much she misses me, she jumps when I say jump, etc etc. Problem being she's not going to change her ways, she's still resistant to proper care, and I'm not sure I could trust her. She doesn't want to get back together if I have a list of demands for her. I'm well aware that I should be running as fast as I can. I just cut contact today.

Dilemma being; this girl moved 10k miles to be with me, and has called me out on saying that me and my family would be there for her no matter what happened. I'm feeling incredibly guilty for ditching her, yet I know I need to fully move on from this.

Am I doing the right thing? Should I try and stay friends and support her in getting help? Else, how can I get past this guilt?

I am dating someone who I found out recently has some PTSD and I didnt notice because she dealt with it on her own and didnt let it affect our relationship. She doesnt do any of the **** you describe.

With a diagnosis or not- thats unacceptable behavior and yes you should cut her off for your own sanity. If you want to later down the road contact her when youre less invested, go for it (although I wouldnt do that...Id throw in the towel)

 

[Handsfull]

If your emotionally attached dont help. Cut bait. If your detached, hang around and help as best you can. Do NOT **** her though. Then your in it. Now you're her puching bag. And she will beat the fvck out of you, again and again.

 

[Atom Smasher]

She went out with other men. That should be end of story right there.

 

[Plutoman]

I am dating someone who I found out recently has some PTSD and I didnt notice because she dealt with it on her own and didnt let it affect our relationship. She doesnt do any of the **** you describe.

With a diagnosis or not- thats unacceptable behavior and yes you should cut her off for your own sanity. If you want to later down the road contact her when youre less invested, go for it (although I wouldnt do that...Id throw in the towel)

This is, most likely, a mixture of PTSD with schizo-affected disorder, combined with daddy-issues.

She went out with other men. That should be end of story right there.

Relationship is done. I'm not looking to go out with her.

The point being - I care about her well being, and I'm feeling guilty for ditching her when she does need the help. Yet, I need to focus on moving forward with my life. What is the best way to approach that?

I'm not totally sure how to deal with the guilt. The urge to reach out and support her is strong, and I'm resisting it, but it's dragging on my mood nearly as much as talking to her did.

HandsFull; I'm still too emotionally connected, I need a few months of space to detach myself from it. I could do the latter later, but not so much now.

Thanks for the words.