Dealing with blatant disrespect from a douchebag at work

[jbbrain]

I work at a local bar/club as a DJ in my hometown of Montreal since 2006. As such, I am the resident DJ and I play here 3x a week including friday nights. There is a new waiter that has just been hired. From what I know he was a friend of the owner's and manager's before he was hired as well as the brother of 2 sisters who already bartend at the bar..fairly incestuous to say the least..it's clear he is part of this big french canadian clique.

So upon working at my bar, this dude simply acts like he owns the place. He is unnecessarily loud, obnoxious, aggressive and is apparently right at home. This is all good, except tonight, I realized he doesn't like the music I play and from my standpoint criticizes it/makes fun of it to my manager and owner of the bar basically in front of my face. I realize some people will like your music and others not so much but the last thing I need from a business standpoint is some arrogant dork pointing things out to my superiors that didn't 'exist' before. He had the gall to actually give me a drink while I was djing and claim that it was from my friend who said "I should have it even though my music is complete shyt". Upon hearing this I took a brief respite from behind the booth to substantiate this claim, which, according to my friend, was never made.

So not only is this guy talking shyt behind my back to my bosses but he's obviously taking me for a fool and taking the piss out of me right in front of my eyes.

My first instinct is to grab this tosser by the throat at my convenience (and with some element of privacy) and set him straight but i know he's fairly tight with my superiors. In the same token I know some sort of example has to be set. I've been there for 3 years, him, 1 week, and he somehow has to be taken off his cloud.

How do you guys deal with animosity in the workplace?

 

[realsmoothie]

IMO the first thing to remember is that your job is a hell of a lot more important (I'm guessing) than any macho-bullcrap.

 

[Zunder]

IMO the first thing to remember is that your job is a hell of a lot more important (I'm guessing) than any macho-bullcrap.

True, but no job is that important that you have to take constant cr@p from some new cvntface at work.

You need to take this guy aside and "make him an offer he can't refuse"

This bully will continue to treat you like his b!tch until you stand up to him.

So what if you lose your job in the process? You mean you couldn't find another DJ job somewhere in Montreal...or Cananda for that matter?
If your boss is worth working for, and you are good at what you do, then he will stick up for you - despite the family connection with this new c0ckhead waiter.

If he doesn't, then you are better off outa that joint anyway.

 

[zekko]

He is unnecessarily loud, obnoxious, aggressive and is apparently right at home.

Maybe he's trying to be a DJ? You know, trying to act like a jerk to impress the ladies.

Anyway, I don't see where he said anything against you exactly. He just doesn't like the music you play. This could be exactly what he thinks, some people feel strongly about music. I don't see any need to get rough with him because he's a little obnoxious and has different tastes. I would ask him what kind of music he likes and see if you can work some into your rotation, maybe that would help. I would try that first, at least.

 

[Trader]

To the OP

Sticky situation you are in

I just saw a youtube video that applies to your situation on how to deal with, well douchebags

Adopt the *samurai* way

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPBowS06s80

 

[Tazman]

This is all good, except tonight, I realized he doesn't like the music I play and from my standpoint criticizes it/makes fun of it to my manager and owner of the bar basically in front of my face.

It's one thing to hear about stuff he's saying behind your back, you can ignore that, but if he's doing it right in front of you, it's time to shake him up a bit.

I'd simply take him aside and ask him if he's got a problem, depending on his answer, you can tell him that you're more than willing to settle this like men. Basically, you want to communicate to him that you know he's talking sh-t and you aren't just going to sit idly by and let him do it. I love confronting guys who talk sh-t behind my back, if they deny it I leave it alone because it tells me they're too scared to confront me face to face.

On the other hand, if they do it in front of me I have no choice but to rise to the occasion.

On the flip side, another tactic you can use is to start making fun of the guy. Let him see you laughing with someone when he looks over at you than pretend you need to stop cause he just saw you. I know it's childish, but it's less confrontational if you're worried about your job. Don't let the guy know his comments bother you, in other words.

 

[jbbrain]

bump. thanks for the sage advice so far boys!

 

[Julian]

He's just a hater. He's a little b1tch boy server and you are the DJ. You have higher status. As long as your managers aren't coming down on you I wouldnt worry about it. If he has something cute to say in front of you, put him in his place like "hey buddy go fetch me a drink, makin this club rock is makin me thirsty". Dont get confrontational with him just keep it ****y. Unless of course he tries to turn up the heat, in that case put him on blast, which is something you should have done from the getgo. You cant show weakness not even the slightest amount...in the future if someone disrespects you, you have to confront it and put a stop to it at that very moment...call a son of a b1tch out.

Dont let this clown shake you up. If anything keep playing more of the music he thinks sucks.

LOL @ you fools telling this guy to play music the waiter likes so he stops talking sh1t. GTFO with that lame stuff. This is a forum on how to be a man not be a little supplicating phaggot. And a job is not as important as your own personal honor. A job can always be found, when you lose your sense of honor and respect, it is something that you can not get back easily.

 

[Poonani Maker]

Well, seeing as he's in good with the boss/superiors, I'd be Very careful, because, I have connections inside and outside of where I work, and people who fvck with me get shafted. It's just the way it is, when you have a power connection.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

The commonality of the modern douchebag has grown in equal proportion to the decline of personal responsibility. Douchebags operate under the assumption that they can do or say whatever they want and nobody will do anything about it. They thrive in our society because, most of the time, they're right.


Blatantly punch him in the face.

 

[zekko]

put him in his place like "hey buddy go fetch me a drink, makin this club rock is makin me thirsty".

It's not a good idea to get lippy with someone who serves you food or drinks.

 

[Julian]

It's not a good idea to get lippy with someone who serves you food or drinks.

hey gekko aren't you the guy who suggested OP put the waiters personal playlist on rotation as a means of appeasement...LOL..

anyway

Not getting lippy with people who handle your food/drink is true in all cases usually BUT, at this level its a moot point. Theres plenty of other servers/bartenders in the establishment. He is not the end all be all server there. All drinks do not go through him. Also do you honestly believe the OP would drink something thats been in this guys hands? Think about it good sir.

As far as that drink the waiter gave him and told him his friend got him...i doubt he drank or at least I hope he didnt.

 

[ZenGodMod]

First find out if its really the music he doesn't like by asking him what his favourite kind of noise. If his able to mention numerous songs and albums you sincerely have not played then its just genuine dislike for the music you play and you might as well appease him a little by playing some of his recommendations.

If however he fails to mention a qualified amount of songs and has a brain freeze, then its you he doesn't like and now you do have a problem. Burn him to a french steak (slightly well done).

You have a fear of confrontation. Its obivous by you post. So man up confront him. This is the only way out.

Don't worry about your boss, this is about respect and respect has no master.

 

[zekko]

hey gekko aren't you the guy who suggested OP put the waiters personal playlist on rotation as a means of appeasement...LOL..

Yes. I still think the OP may be overreacting, and I wouldn't characterize it as appeasement, it's being diplomatic. Read the original post, basically all this guy did was say that he didn't like the music he was playing. Maybe he's a metalhead and the DJ is just playing techno - if that's the case, yeah, he probably isn't going to like the music. You guys act like he came up and spit in his face or something.