Dealing with anxiety of dating younger women

[pierce_r]

There are a few guys older than I who just seem to attract ALL ages of younger women. It's not like these guys TRY to act or look young. Rather, they seem very much at home, comfortable with their style, their gray hair, etc.

This is a huge thing. I'd look like a creepy old perv if I went to a dance club. With gray hair, I'd look like a loser wearing an Ed Hardy shirt. Heck, I'd look like an idiot blasting One Republic in my car at my age.

I wear shirts with collars and tuck them in. Even working from home.

I have season tickets to the symphony. I putter around on my boat. I go see friends in bands at little hipster clubs and dive bars. I go to art gallery openings. I compete in 10K's. These are all things that I do without the express purpose of attracting women; these are just things that I like to do. It gives me a sense of having a life, and it gives me, as you say, style. Sometimes I meet women doing it. I touched on this before, but dates are easy when you already have something going on.

ESPECIALLY when she texts you with "wut r u up 2?"

- "I have a spare ticket for the symphony on Friday."
- "Just knocked out 12 miles. I've earned a burger and a beer. Meet me for dinner."
- "I'm competing in a trail run on Sunday morning. Meet me for a beer at the finish line."
- "I'm working on my boat all weekend. Come hang out."
- "My buddy's band is playing tonight. I'll pick you up at six, we'll pre-funk."
- "I'm driving upstate to look at the leaves. Road trip?"

This all beats the hell out of saying, "Do you want to do something sometime?"

Be someplace. Be doing something. Invite women. If no women come along, then meet women when you're there. Because if you're doing something you like -- the difference, say, between having a drink with the band between sets vs. just sitting at the bar mentally undressing all the hotties -- women will talk to you. Go to an art exhibit if you like art (I like art) and engage people. Talk to the artist. Buy their book. Buy a piece if you like it. Whatever. Besides, free wine and snacks. You get the idea. Go engage the world on your own terms.

Anyway. I've said this all before. But I'm saying it again because it works.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

You don't have to put anything on hold. I don't recommend that.

Some women LIKE guys who need to be "fixed."

well that's inspiring and great to know, yes even though I still live at home I do have a job and I do have a car at least

 

[JaegerPilot217]

If you can attract them when your self esteem and confidence are low (and you can), imagine how attractive you are when you feel good about life.

And I think NOBODY is perfect. We've all got issues. I think it's mainly how you perceive and react to your struggles, imperfections, etc. that makes all the difference.

yeah I want to believe I can still do it despite my current situation

 

[JaegerPilot217]

There's ALWAYS going to a "current situation." Get out there and meet them anyway. Embrace your imperfections. Use your idiosyncrasies to test them, to see how interested they are despite your not being perfect or normal or whatever.

Yeah I believe there has to be some girls who are not against hotels

 

[englishman]

When I was 40 I had this hot 26 year old Korean exchange student.
Anyway she phuked off back to Korea and I didn't hear from her. Was a mystery!
i recently heard from her on Facebook after 10 years. She was quite open about what had actually happened.
She told me she'd dumped my azz and gone off with a younger guy she was seeing at the same time.
I wasn't actually that upset, long time ago and I'm a lot older and a bit wiser.
I don't think you can take em serious. Have your fun but don't let em under your skin or your doomed :rock:

 

[JaegerPilot217]

There's ALWAYS going to a "current situation." Get out there and meet them anyway. Embrace your imperfections. Use your idiosyncrasies to test them, to see how interested they are despite your not being perfect or normal or whatever.

Sounds like it is still possible for me to get a girlfriend or just get laid despite the fact I still live at home, hopefully that is true