Dealing with and getting some respect amongst men trying to out-alpha you.

[Scars]

So basically I have a friend who is one of those alpha male types. Sometimes he is really cool and can be a really great friend to have. Other times he is just a fu(king assh0le who thinks he is better than everyone. I've been getting really sick of his sh!t lately. He will sometimes try and put me down, almost constantly. At first I would let his size, because I did at one point used to be afraid of him. Now I usually call him on his sh!t, and it just makes things worse. I think because of this he is always trying to prove to other people he is the alpha. Like he purposely tries to put me down infront of other people, and when I retaliate it just escalates. It makes me more of a target I think. There have been times where he's got me so heated I wanted to fight him, I didn't even think twice about getting my ass beat. Because he could probably very well hand it to me. And everyone will say "what are you doing? he is going to kick your ass" and I keep telling them I'm just sick of his **** and id rather get my ass beat then go down looking like a *****. And I've said this to his face before and he just laughed and was like "shut up dumbass." again, insulting me again. He doesn't take me seriously, and I'm sick of the disrespect. I don't do low blows like he does. One time we were argueing and he was like "Shut up dumbass, I get more ***** than you do." funny thing is I just found out recently from two of these girls he "****ed" that nothing happened, and not just from them but from multipe sources. Suppousedly he did some chick at a party, the only weekend I just happened to not go to. And they were in the bedroom for like 10 mins, ya right what a ****ing sack of ****. The other girl is a ****ing prude, and I know for a fact they didnt do anything more than make out. I never him call him on this **** though, because I really don't want to embaress him, but I might start to. He ****ing attacks me on anything. My size, (because im a skinny dude), anything. It just ****ing pisses me off. Like I said though, sometimes he is cool, but this whole alpha male **** he is putting on is pissing me the **** off. The next time he tries it should I just try and attack him verbally, even if he is ****ing joking. Should I just keep going with it, even if it leads to some physical conflict. Cause I know he is just going to act like he is just kidding, but I don't ****ing care. There's some things you just don't joke about it. They're not even jokes half the time, it's just him trying to be tough. So **** him. Next time it happens I'm gonna call him on it, and if we end up getting in a fist fight for it, oh well. I'm not ****ing afraid him. Wow. more like a rant than anything else...

 

[reset]

Dude I read the first few sentences then just tuned out. If this is guy is your friend, you've got some problems, because in this rant it's pretty clear this guy pisses you off.

If you have people in your life that aren't supporting you, or aren't making you feel great about yourself when they are around? W A L K A W A Y.

If people don't treat you right, why the hell are you hanging out with them?

 

[Scars]

He's the guitarist in my band, that's why. I have to deal with his ****. Music is my only ticket out of this town unfortunately. Without him, no band, stuck in this ****ing ****hole.

 

[reset]

Um, you don't HAVE to deal with anything. Bands break up all the time. Why do you think bands split up? Because of crap like this.

But if you decide to keep it together... it's simple:

"Dude, we're in this band and that's great. If you ever disrespect me again, or give me any ****, it's over. Your choice."

Then walk away.

Don't let stuff like this eat away at you.

Your life is NOT dependant on any one person. That's bs. YOU are the one that makes decisions about your life. You don't need ANYONE but yourself. If others want to be with you and help you, then all the better. But do you really want to spend possibly years working with someone who treats you like ****? No.

 

[SaucyBoy]

Learn his tricks then walk away.

 

[reset]

Hot chicks breed competition from guys who are insecure. The guys who know they are the prize, figure if the other guy got the chick, then she blew it.

 

[J-Bone]

scars where are you from! SERIOUSLY are you the drummer because i swear your situation is EXACTLY kliek our drummers situation.

 

[BluEyes]

He sounds like a tool, lying about getting laid and ****.


Why do you think he is alpha? I bet if he hung around my friends he'd be a crying wreck in minutes.

 

[young_gun]

LOL, this sounds just like one of my good friends. It has taken me forever to actually like the guy, but now that we get along, I can safely say he's one of my best friends.

He makes fun of me all the time, and I used to get offended by it, but now I just give it back to him. It's not really a big deal. If you are considering getting in a fist fight with this guy, you either need to have a talk with him about things or stop hanging out with him altogether. I'm sure the reason he makes fun of you like he does is because he feels like he has competition with you. I mean, think about it. If you were just some chode who wasn't cool and had zero game with the ladies, he wouldn't make fun of you. He wouldn't waste his time.

I don't know, he sounds like a pretty decent guy, but remember that if someone isn't treating you right you either need to let them know or stop hanging around them altogether. It's a lot better to do that than to bottle up your anger and then make a fool out of yourself.

 

[ligyron]

Wow, words really have an effect on you. he's found your insecurities and likes to point them out, and you're letting him. you don't have to resort to fighting to deal with it, you just need to have it not affect you and just calmly shoot back with something wittier

my friends are busting each other's balls all the time. no one gets mad, they remain calm and shoot back with something else and we always have a great laugh. some really mean things have been said, and they're all still great friends. you seem to be missing this concept

 

[ChocolateVanilla]

Sounds like a situation somewhat similar to mine. If he dissrespects you, then don't let him. Never ever let anyone walk all over you. Girls themselves will start walking all over you if that happens. Have some rules and live by them like not having your own friends treat you like that. If he continues to do so after you talk to him about it, then just walk away and start a new band. Be mature about it and talk to him face-to-face, fighting is just a coward's way out IMO.


One time, a friend of mine was cool with me but ever since he found out I've been gaming girls, he's been insecure about his own ability to meet chicks so he's been making fun of my attempts and constantly putting me down, even in front of other people. This guy thinks he's got lots of game and even tries giving people advice as if he knew anything when all he does is read sites like sosuave (the amount of people who probably read this site and never approach a girl is probably very high) and other internet stuff but never talks to girls. Yet he bashed me all over the place to try and look like a player. I've found lots of AFC and no balls like to bash their friends who can meet chicks. The point is, most guys who do what your friend does are just insecure and feel threatened by you. Just talk to him about it and see what happens.

 

[Bvbidd]

The way I see it is you got two choices.

Either stop hanging out with him or beat the sh!t out of him.

 

[reset]

^what if the guy isn't the prize? What if he's short and/or ugly?

read the post again, tailor made for you.

 

[zerocelcius]

*Edit it and add some Paragraphs!*

:cuss:

 

[Scars]

Ahaha, no I play bass. Not drums, and I'm from Arizona.

I'm cool with him now. We are *******s to each other one minute then cool the next. We have a weird relationship. Oh well, I'm over it.

I'm actually pissed at another friend right now. I tried to contact him 3 times to hang out today, and he blew me off. So I make other plans with this girl. End up seeing a movie, then going back to my friends crib and smoked some hooka, then got some KFC. Ahaha. But anyways I come home and the dumbass posts a bulletin about all the **** he did today, and I was like "wtf dumbass. I tried to hang out with you and you blew me off" but I don't even really care, cause I still had a good time tonight. AHaha.