rAFCOliver
Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2018
- Messages
- 37
- Reaction score
- 30
So I’ll start straight with my story, as a newcomer to the forum I believe this is the best place to post. If not, please direct me to the right section.
Here it goes, time and time again I’ve read that it’s never a good idea to start a workplace relationship but I seemed to stumble into one.
About 9 months ago, a new starter at my work entered through the doors and I thought nothing much of it. In a male dominated company it wasn’t long before she had attention coming from every angle. It all started off with crossing her in the building making small talk which eventually lead to teasing and flirting. Things quickly progressed after I got her number and we went out for a few dates which then lead to the most intense start to a relationship that I’ve ever had.
Months went by and things were great, she was spending the majority of lunches with me, we spent a lot of time outside of work everything was great.
All of a sudden, communication started to dip a little however I wasn’t too phased. About 6 months into the relationship she started talking about moving in together, looking at houses etc, she was infatuated with me and I thought this is it, I’ve made it, a nice solid relationship, sex was great and frequent, life’s good.
What I didn’t realise is that I was barely taking anytime for myself, my family got pushed back, friends were occasionally met but not as frequently as before, I hardly was attending the gym and my diet was thrown out the window - I got to comfortable. However she was pretty much in the same situation.
Towards the back of the relationship, she had a major loss in the family and everything that she offered to do or suggested that I didn’t agree to was smashed right in my face. Arguement after argument ensued and then conversation started to drop. After that blip, we managed to get back on track for a short moment then all of a sudden she started to act distant, pushing me away, not contacting me hardly as much, I definitely noticed a swing in the way the mood was.
As the weeks went by, I noticed that I was gradually unhappy with the way things were so I pushed myself to try and make a dwindling relationship work. This led me to nights of drinking, racking my brain and constantly thinking how I could get back on track. Things didn’t work out though, all of sudden I heard that she was flirting with a few people at work, married men and confidence lacking betas that would lap up her attention and give it to her back. We ended up going for a family meal and one comment that hit me like a brick wall was “I feel completely comfortable and I don’t feel the need to impress you cause I’ve won you” (red flag?)
After one day when I worked late she was giggling, flirting with a colleague and I hit the roof, I proceeded to explode over text and then another night of drinking ensued. I got the blame whacked on me, “you’re so paranoid etc etc”. I woke up the next morning with a horrendous hangover and called her, she mentioned that she couldn’t have male friends without being cautious around me and wanted me to change and move forward. It was at that moment when I thought his would never happen but I went, I’ve changed enough for you and it’s time that we end it. She didn’t contest it, she said I doubt you want to be friends with me so let’s just be civil at work. It’s almost like she prepared for this moment for weeks.
Thing is, since splitting with her, multiple people have approached me at work and said well done cause her lack of respect was just pouring out from Monday to Friday. I gained some strength from that but not much.
Since splitting with her, she keeps and goes out of her way to try and have conversations with me like nothings happened and it makes me irate and pissed off and I never enter into a long dialogue and cut it short. After a week or so, she’s ramped up the flirting and touching with a married man at work which is obvious for everyone to see and it’s to the point where it’s sickly. I guess I’ve had a lucky escape but I’m blindsided but the good times, constantly.
Since leaving her, I have cleaned up my diet, invested in new clothes and positive compliments have been flying around even from her.
I’ve been on NC for two weeks now, I have good and bad days, however tonight will be my biggest challenge, I’m going to a work party and in need of advice cause it’ll be right in front of my face. How would you guys deal with this type of situation?
Here it goes, time and time again I’ve read that it’s never a good idea to start a workplace relationship but I seemed to stumble into one.
About 9 months ago, a new starter at my work entered through the doors and I thought nothing much of it. In a male dominated company it wasn’t long before she had attention coming from every angle. It all started off with crossing her in the building making small talk which eventually lead to teasing and flirting. Things quickly progressed after I got her number and we went out for a few dates which then lead to the most intense start to a relationship that I’ve ever had.
Months went by and things were great, she was spending the majority of lunches with me, we spent a lot of time outside of work everything was great.
All of a sudden, communication started to dip a little however I wasn’t too phased. About 6 months into the relationship she started talking about moving in together, looking at houses etc, she was infatuated with me and I thought this is it, I’ve made it, a nice solid relationship, sex was great and frequent, life’s good.
What I didn’t realise is that I was barely taking anytime for myself, my family got pushed back, friends were occasionally met but not as frequently as before, I hardly was attending the gym and my diet was thrown out the window - I got to comfortable. However she was pretty much in the same situation.
Towards the back of the relationship, she had a major loss in the family and everything that she offered to do or suggested that I didn’t agree to was smashed right in my face. Arguement after argument ensued and then conversation started to drop. After that blip, we managed to get back on track for a short moment then all of a sudden she started to act distant, pushing me away, not contacting me hardly as much, I definitely noticed a swing in the way the mood was.
As the weeks went by, I noticed that I was gradually unhappy with the way things were so I pushed myself to try and make a dwindling relationship work. This led me to nights of drinking, racking my brain and constantly thinking how I could get back on track. Things didn’t work out though, all of sudden I heard that she was flirting with a few people at work, married men and confidence lacking betas that would lap up her attention and give it to her back. We ended up going for a family meal and one comment that hit me like a brick wall was “I feel completely comfortable and I don’t feel the need to impress you cause I’ve won you” (red flag?)
After one day when I worked late she was giggling, flirting with a colleague and I hit the roof, I proceeded to explode over text and then another night of drinking ensued. I got the blame whacked on me, “you’re so paranoid etc etc”. I woke up the next morning with a horrendous hangover and called her, she mentioned that she couldn’t have male friends without being cautious around me and wanted me to change and move forward. It was at that moment when I thought his would never happen but I went, I’ve changed enough for you and it’s time that we end it. She didn’t contest it, she said I doubt you want to be friends with me so let’s just be civil at work. It’s almost like she prepared for this moment for weeks.
Thing is, since splitting with her, multiple people have approached me at work and said well done cause her lack of respect was just pouring out from Monday to Friday. I gained some strength from that but not much.
Since splitting with her, she keeps and goes out of her way to try and have conversations with me like nothings happened and it makes me irate and pissed off and I never enter into a long dialogue and cut it short. After a week or so, she’s ramped up the flirting and touching with a married man at work which is obvious for everyone to see and it’s to the point where it’s sickly. I guess I’ve had a lucky escape but I’m blindsided but the good times, constantly.
Since leaving her, I have cleaned up my diet, invested in new clothes and positive compliments have been flying around even from her.
I’ve been on NC for two weeks now, I have good and bad days, however tonight will be my biggest challenge, I’m going to a work party and in need of advice cause it’ll be right in front of my face. How would you guys deal with this type of situation?
