Dealing with a flake?

[fancy_pants]

Hi gents, can't believe I didn't know of this forum sooner. I am by no means a 'DJ' or a 'player', but I am not inexperienced in the manner either. I was in a few serious relationships (im 22) and now I'm ready to move forward. So I met this girl that I used to work with (but only met once at a staff party where I danced with her months ago- I have since quit) at a bar. I kind of bumped into her and said hey do you work at so-and-so? I haven't seen her in about 2 months and I had actually forgotten her name + she had forgotten mine. We said "hi' and we reintroduced each other and I told her I was with my friends (she was with her friends- my ex coworkers). She said to come find her after and I asked to dance with her later, she said yes. Later that night I dragged her away from her friends and we danced for about 15 minutes. I had to leave after because my friends were leaving, but I asked to get a drink with her. She said yes, and I got her number, hugged her g'nite and left.
Texted her 3 days later (too busy with school), asking if she was free Thursday for Sunday to get a drink: "hey so about that drink, are you free tmr or sunday? -fancy pants". It was Wednesday night I sent the text, and Thursday, no response. So I have deleted her number- I only have her number in the sent msgs archive. I usually drop flakey girls ASAP since I have little to no patience for these type of games. I wouldn't even think of trying again, but her phone kind of fell apart in the dance floor and got stomped on so I am not sure if shes phone-less at the moment, plus she was receptive to me previously at the staff party and at the bar. I do have another girl that I am already kind of seeing so it's not much of a loss for me, plus an ex has just popped back into my life.
Anyways, too soon? Send another text later? Phone call? I don't really care either way- not too interested in her/attracted to her, but wouldn't mind the company.

 

[bluemanson]

I think she should get another chance but call her rather

 

[fancy_pants]

THanks! Any other takers?

 

[DonJuan11]

I met this girl that I used to work with (but only met once at a staff party where I danced with her months ago- I have since quit) at a bar. I kind of bumped into her and said hey do you work at so-and-so? I haven't seen her in about 2 months and I had actually forgotten her name + she had forgotten mine. We said "hi' and we reintroduced each other and I told her I was with my friends (she was with her friends- my ex coworkers). She said to come find her after and I asked to dance with her later, she said yes. Later that night I dragged her away from her friends and we danced for about 15 minutes. I had to leave after because my friends were leaving, but I asked to get a drink with her. She said yes, and I got her number, hugged her g'nite and left.
Texted her 3 days later (too busy with school), asking if she was free Thursday for Sunday to get a drink: "hey so about that drink, are you free tmr or sunday? -fancy pants".

3 days later? You should have texted her that night or the next morning. You have to fire burning while its hot. She could have slept with a 6'1 hockey player and be pregnant in 3 days. Plus, pick a day and stick with it, don't give her options.


It was Wednesday night I sent the text, and Thursday, no response. So I have deleted her number- I only have her number in the sent msgs archive. I usually drop flakey girls ASAP since I have little to no patience for these type of games.

Oh man, how high is the ego here? What game did she play? She didnt' do anything wrong and you have keep the ego in check. Perhaps she was busy, perhaps she got in a car accident, perhaps her grandma died, perhaps she failed an exam, perhaps she got fired. Look at it from her point of view.

Plus, what did you expect her to say after you sent the text? "Hi fancy pants, thank you for inviting me out. My life finally has meaning since you has time in your busy schedule to invite me out and as a reward, I will give you the best sex ever as soon as I can."

I do have another girl that I am already kind of seeing so it's not much of a loss for me, plus an ex has just popped back into my life.
Anyways, too soon? Send another text later? Phone call? I don't really care either way- not too interested in her/attracted to her, but wouldn't mind the company.

Yes you are, otherwise you wouldn't be asking. Send one more soft text and ask her again if she would like to go for drinks very politely.

 

[Allurre]

Don't ever... ask a woman out for a drink in a bar like that. It's boring... too typical, and insinuates that you want to end up in bed with her.

Take her to the coffee shop. Invest more time in conversations where the environment is right.

 

[xdreamz]

be indifferent about it, act like it never happened. one time after a flake i just decided to be nice to her and send her a memento on myspace on faith like "'faith is like the bird that sings when the dawn is still dark' have faith." she then proceeded to write me a letter of apology for flaking on me. i dont know it depends if thats the effect you want, i would rather have them suggest another time, but back to the question I dont deal with flakers. flaking is something i hate and i dont tolerate it at all.

 

[Kevin Feng]

Well, you created a post on her so you do care about her to some degree, which is fine, just means you like her.

Honestly, there really is no quick fix for flakes. You just need solid game and a "stable" of women you can choose from so to speak. If you have enough phone numbers and leads, you won't really need to worry about a flake, because you'll have others on the roll call.

So instead of focusing on this one possible flake, just go out and get more numbers. I use the rule of 3, if she doesn't respond after 3 texts/calls, then forget about her, move on

 

[fancy_pants]

I agree guys, I guess I do care somewhat. I will give her a call tomorrow, maybe asking for a coffee date instead? But regardless of what kind of date I ask a girl out to, I am sure she can figure out that I am insinuating taking her to bed. haha