Dealing with a dude interrupting your set

[ubercat]

Getting back out there after time out, I've got this meetup I've started going to for singles.

Most of the chicks are fugly so its just a bit of social practice to shake the rust off. Somewhere I'm not going to care about the outcomes and just practice vibing and different approaches.

I was talking to this chick and had this guy come over who's a bit of an AMOG (not a very good one). Now back in the day I'd been taught to befriend the AMOGs so I invited him into the conversation. That was a mistake. He wouldn't shut-up and the chick was being polite listening to him so I was effectively shut out of the set. Normally I'd ask him questions to show I was relaxed and cool but he wouldn't even shut up enough for that.

Now that's exactly what I'm there for - practicing handling these games when it really doesn't matter.

A few options I'd like opinions on:

1. Move closer to chick when I see him coming and treat him as an interruption - i.e. freeze him out.

2. Interrupt and ask a question and if he ignores me - repeat the question (basically pointing out he's being a dcvk talking over the top of everyone.

3. Eyeball some other chick - smile and nod and walk slowly over to her and intro myself (not sure about this one - as I'd basically be coming from a set I'd been kicked out of - seems a terrible frame.

Other thoughts?

 

[Drummer93]

Getting back out there after time out, I've got this meetup I've started going to for singles.

Most of the chicks are fugly so its just a bit of social practice to shake the rust off. Somewhere I'm not going to care about the outcomes and just practice vibing and different approaches.

I was talking to this chick and had this guy come over who's a bit of an AMOG (not a very good one). Now back in the day I'd been taught to befriend the AMOGs so I invited him into the conversation. That was a mistake. He wouldn't shut-up and the chick was being polite listening to him so I was effectively shut out of the set. Normally I'd ask him questions to show I was relaxed and cool but he wouldn't even shut up enough for that.

Now that's exactly what I'm there for - practicing handling these games when it really doesn't matter.

A few options I'd like opinions on:

1. Move closer to chick when I see him coming and treat him as an interruption - i.e. freeze him out.

2. Interrupt and ask a question and if he ignores me - repeat the question (basically pointing out he's being a dcvk talking over the top of everyone.

3. Eyeball some other chick - smile and nod and walk slowly over to her and intro myself (not sure about this one - as I'd basically be coming from a set I'd been kicked out of - seems a terrible frame.

Other thoughts?

Practice yes!!

1.) No, this demonstrates hes a threat.
2.) Much better. End his feminine rant, provide direction towards the new thread you want to create.
3.) Why are you trying to make her jealous?

Bonus option, 4.) How about getting up and go? Tap her hand, look at her and say "Well it looks like we gotta get going..It's nice chatting with you dude (name here), be well". Especially if you see her not interested in the conversation with the dude.

Remember you're the man, show her that you provide direction and can change the scene with a snap of a finger.

 

[ubercat]

Thx D93

Gotta admit social group game was never my strong point.

Option 4 is interesting.

Is it a bit high risk? This wasn't my date - didn't know her. And she may be one of those chicks who thinks a brash loud guy is an Alpha.

How would I:

A) position it best so she's likely to go along with me? and
B) laugh it off if she ignores the attempt to mover her?

 

[Drummer93]

Thx D93

Gotta admit social group game was never my strong point.

Option 4 is interesting.

Is it a bit high risk? This wasn't my date - didn't know her. And she may be one of those chicks who thinks a brash loud guy is an Alpha.

How would I:

A) position it best so she's likely to go along with me? and
B) laugh it off if she ignores the attempt to mover her?

I wasn't good at social groups either until one day I was tired of being the quiet one, the follower, the play-it-safe dude in the group.

High-risk? Dude you're a RISK TAKER! don't be afraid of losing the girl or you'll be walking on eggshells for the rest of your life because of women. You're a leader, not a follower like most guys. The whole purpose of this "risk" is not only to see her interest level but to demonstrate that you're not attached to her or to the group. You want to invite her into YOUR frame and it has a much more fulfilling experience rather then being part of a one-sided conversation.

I'll give you an example: I was out with a bunch of friends and there was this one guy that kept talking and talking, meanwhile there was this woman that I thought was attractive. We had already introduce ourselves before the dude kept going on about his job. I started to lose interest in the conversation but I wanted to learn more about the woman I had interest in so I got up and said I'm grabbing a drink, Nicole do you want to join me? she replied yes and boom she's in my frame. Now not all of them will say yes but don't be afraid of rejection. If she says no then cool, at least you know where her interest level is at and you can start scouting other talent.

I've had many situations where a woman would say no to me and later join me because I passed their test on how strong my frame is and how i'm not dependent on the conversation.

 

[ubercat]

Never worried about losing the girl - they're like buses another will be along soon. More about general embarassment but you're 100% right - people won't be looking and if they r y should I care.

 

[Reykhel]

Getting back out there after time out, I've got this meetup I've started going to for singles.

Most of the chicks are fugly so its just a bit of social practice to shake the rust off. Somewhere I'm not going to care about the outcomes and just practice vibing and different approaches.

I was talking to this chick and had this guy come over who's a bit of an AMOG (not a very good one). Now back in the day I'd been taught to befriend the AMOGs so I invited him into the conversation. That was a mistake. He wouldn't shut-up and the chick was being polite listening to him so I was effectively shut out of the set. Normally I'd ask him questions to show I was relaxed and cool but he wouldn't even shut up enough for that.

Now that's exactly what I'm there for - practicing handling these games when it really doesn't matter.

A few options I'd like opinions on:

1. Move closer to chick when I see him coming and treat him as an interruption - i.e. freeze him out.

2. Interrupt and ask a question and if he ignores me - repeat the question (basically pointing out he's being a dcvk talking over the top of everyone.

3. Eyeball some other chick - smile and nod and walk slowly over to her and intro myself (not sure about this one - as I'd basically be coming from a set I'd been kicked out of - seems a terrible frame.

Other thoughts?

"I'm not going to care about the outcomes and just practice vibing and different approaches." Excellent. Should be more or less the default mindset in most situations.

So you've recognised inviting him into the conversation was a mistake? The options that I see are
1. just keep talking to the girl at a higher rate of speed while essentially freezing him out.
2. Be the leader of the set. I think asking him questions is giving him the stage to speak and then out of "politeness" the others listen.
3. Bounce with the girl to a different location. take her by the hand "excuse us, won't you my good man"

 

[Mr Wright]

This is one of those social situations that I find annoying but easy to deal with. I'm always looking for the path of least resistance to get what I want, so when you say you invited the guy over I can only laugh. This is why when I'm interested in a girl in a social setting I walk off with her somewhere private, so any interruptions are rude and socially awkward.

If anybody comes over during this time, I don't engage with them or make any comments. I'm rude but he was also rude by coming over when you were having an intimate moment so fück that guy. If he says anything to you directly, pretend you can't hear him and go back to sipping your drink or whatever you feel like doing. If you engage with them you are entering them into the conservation and making it a group setting. Just think if you reverse the situation, if you approach a group of girls and guys, always talk to the guys first because you're giving yourself that "in", so you can work your way around the group.

You don't want to go head to head with the guy because you're competing on his level, he'll be dragging you down to mud wrestle and you don't want to be doing that. Be the Ali to his Foreman and let him punch himself out. You basically get the guy to talk himself out of the situation. Remember whoever is doing the talking is qualifying themselves, so the louder he is the better. So you sit there, catch the girls eye and give her that "do you know this guy?" or the "when is he going to leave?" look. Hold eye contact with her, the more seductive the better. Ignore him, you have to look socially savvy, make it a private little game between you and the girl. So the longer he's talking, the more you're actually tooling the guy. She'll get it and he'll grow frustrated.

 

[ubercat]

Thx MW interesting tactic. BTW I didn't invite him. Probably should do more eye flirting and kino earlier. Trouble is these chicks r mainly UGs but geez I should be on all the time or its not practice.

 

[RangerMIke]

4. Is the way to go. It always works for me, it's a test for her (yes we can test them). If she goes with you great... if she doesn't... well now you know not to waste anymore time on her and go find someone else.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Sometimes I dont understand certain suggestion or approaches to problems that are discussed here.

In many cases I read about guys facing an annoyance not with hostility but with some "wittiness" or irony, well Im sure there are places for that but if a guy interrput you while you're working on a girl its not so much about include him to show he is not a big deal then start competing under the lines, its about removing him asap or better yet simply stop him even before he joins.

Maybe its me and my low level of tolerance (tolerance and self-control are different things) but any time a guy tried to do something like that, I had no problem to make clear the fact that he was no welcome that I didnt want him to be there, lines like "I have to talk with her if you dont mind", which become "dont you have anything else to do and bother here" till "how about you get the fvck away" with a voice tone that goes from the arrogant to the disrespectful with no regard about the sensitivity of the girl.

I mean if a girl gets turned off while I try to defend my space, its definitely not a girl I wanna deal with, a girl which is happy to have an intruder and give him the right to join is a girl that is not that interested in me and even worse is interested in having men fighting for her attention....drama no thanks.

Im sure many of you have enough "game" and patience to deal with such things but personally I dont nor I wanna consume precious energy.

Regarding the chance of a physical confrontation, Im not that tall or big but I can assure you that even bigger guys try to avoid violence when they sense in front of them someone which altough smaller or less strong shows that he has no problem to act with ruthless hate, someone not concerned about just save face but willing to enter a fight with the purpose to harm as much as possible he who attacked him.

 

[ubercat]

thanks guys I think more work on isolation is the key that will set up the interrupting frame and I'll definitely try moving the girl and generally being bolder. as this was a social group I was a bit surprised by the games but it looks like it's full on night game. amog is just being a bit of a **** to me i don't see these types of guys as Alphas at all. espi some of your OLD posts are great and I'm quite good at it. but I'm concentrating on social Circle at the moment so going multichannel. I'm 6 foot 2 and very well trained so physical confrontation never an issue