Dealing w/ a women who has been hit by ex

[Jumpman23]

So this girl I was dating, she was not completely over her ex. Her ex was someone who had physically hit her in the past on two occasions. Yet despite that she still remains in contact w/ him and is friends. Which to me makes completely no sense. So I was being AFCish and snapped on her after about why she would still want to be friends w/ her ex. I was pissed about this and after she said she did not want to be w/ me. We casually dated for about 6 months. To me it makes no sense why she would still want to be friends w/ someone who has hit you in the past, I called her out on this. I just can't imagine this situation and she is only 24.

Haven't seen her for about 3 months, going to meet up w/ her next week grab a bite to eat. To a degree, a little still hurt b/c she did not want to be w/ me and the fact that she was still not over her -ex, who hit her twice. How should I play this when I meet up w/ her. Honestly, I just want to hook up w/ her and remain friends. But also I feel hurt, I want some revenge, but that is not good. Suggestions, besides NEXT.

 

[KontrollerX]

Do a forum search or Wikipedia search on Stockholm Syndrome and you'll have your answer of why this girl is in love with an abuser.

 

[Jumpman23]

i know a little bit about this, read a case about battered women syndrome in law school. But it still hard to understand.

 

[Nighthawk]

Half of all women who say they were beaten by their ex were asking for it. Sounds misogynist, but that's what I've seen in the real world. Women attracted to men capable of violence when pushed, then actively seeking out their buttons and hitting them again and again until they snapped. It's a form of control, bizarrely enough.

Most of the other half are exaggerating. Maybe 5% were actual stereotypical poor little victims, and even then they could generally walk away at any point. But (many) women love to play the victim card, so you'll be all protective and malleable.

Like you say, if he treated her abysmally, she'd hate him and wouldn't want contact. The same way she'd treat someone who bullied or abused her as a child, or raped her. So she either knows she was guilty of getting him mad, or is able to forgive him because it wasn't so bad.

Lesson 1 - Women who tell you their exes used to hit them but they inexplicably stayed with them and remain friends -something fishy going on.

Lesson 2 - It's not your business if she wants to stay in contact, but be aware if she's trying to play you off him like Olive Oyl.