Dead Simple Guide to Meeting Women

[everywomanshero]

This may make some of you laugh, but I'm going to suggest something radical. Instead of reading more posts, I have prepared a guideline to finding women. You won't need any techniques to speak of, this is actually a fairly scientific approach (believe it or not) and it will help you guys who just want to meet more women without spending every waking hour analyzing interactions. This is also, in a way, a very advanced concept because it requires one to have faith in statistics over the long haul rather than being deadly serious about any given interaction. It's not for the guy who is always trying to beat the house at black jack.

Week 1: Get treatment for any mental/emotional problems

This is an important step. If you don't have any serious issues, just write out 3 or four affirmations five times each for the week. I like one I stole from swinggcat "No Matter how a woman is reacting, I know she's getting turned on". You want to keep them short, direct, without negatives (ie. don't use "I am not a bad person" but instead use "I am equal to anyone else"), and present tense. Believe it or not there has been some recent research on affirmations supporting this simple exercise can have a powerful impact that lasts over time... here's just one example of empirical supporthttp://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/news/article/7624

Now, some of you with serious issues I know are going to raise the old "I don't have insurance objection". Fear not, I have prepared a response to this easy way out objection. The great news is that you do not need it, at least not in the US. I'll explain:

Graduate, Intern consoulers work for 10-30$ per session. This is less expensiv than what most insured people pay anyway. Even seasoned professionals work for around 40$ on a sliding scale basis for the non-insured. Next objection, "won't it take years to make a recovery". A: Nope, good results can be had within 90 days for the common mental/emotional disorders like anxiety or depression. Need empirical evidence? Here's a link to the National Alliance on Mental Illness http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=About_Treatments_and_Supports&template=/ContentManagement/ContentDisplay.cfm&ContentID=7952 .

What if I can't stand the idea of consouling? You can always talk to your General Practioner about medication. For common disoders, like anxiety or depression a GP can handle these. Pharmacies like Walmart and Target carry generic, anti-depressant for 4$ per month!!! Cheaper than what most co-payments with insurance would be anyway. Find out more about how medications work here, why take it from me? http://www.nami.org/Content/NavigationMenu/Inform_Yourself/About_Mental_Illness/About_Treatments_and_Supports/About_Medications/Default798.htm

 

[everywomanshero]

Week 2: Get the F out the house

This week is going to be really radical. I am going to suggest you do something, anything, that increases your proximity to women. The biggest indicator of whether two people will ever screw each other's brains out if their proximity to each other. Need some evidence? No problem! Fromhttp://links.jstor.org/sici?sici=0002-9602(193209)38%3A2%3C219%3ARPAAFI%3E2.0.CO%3B2-D
"Five thousand consecutive marriage licenses, in which one or both applicants were residents of Philadelphia, were tabulated according to distance between the residences of the couples. One-third of all the couples lived within five or less blocks of each other, and the percentage of marriages decreased steadily and markedly as the distance between residences of the contracting parties increased. The extent to which the role of residential propinquity is confined to social areas in which specific attributes or combinations of attributes are concentrated will be considered in the series of projects of which this was the initial step"

Obviously the more people you live around, for this particular factor, the better odds. However, even if you're in some rural village in the middle of nowhere you will have proximity to some chicks. Remember as your proximity decreases, so shall theirs. Where could you go:

Church: If you're already in one, try another one, even just for a couple of weeks as a broadning of experience. I don't care if it's a budist temple, a Catholic church, or a scientology hangout. Just pick one and try it, you might even learn something interesting. I don't think one has to convert just to check something new out and meet some friends (plus increase his proximity, if only for a moment, to more chicas).

Coffee Shop: A lot of cities have some "cool" coffee shops where lesbians are known to meet. Try making some bisexual female friends, if you already have lots of these or no such place is known to you, then just go to any and try mingling with whoever is there. Again you are at least temperarely increasing proximity.

Volunteer: It doesn't matter if it's flying to Africa for an AIDS mission or mentoring blind children, you will likely gain more proximity to women. The kind of women who volunteer, IMO, tend to be high quality marriage material, a bonus if you're seeking a LTR.

I'm sure you guys can think of a zillion ways to increase proximity, so hop to it. Anything that increases proximity to women, if only for a moment, is acceptable. This includes the gym, clubs, etc. Don't be too picky or you'll never get out of the house and therefore decrease your odds automatically. I have a concert to run to, but I will plug in the next few weeks soon.

 

[everywomanshero]

Week 3: Conversational Strategies

I am not going to introduce any "routines" or some such thing, the reason being is this guide is intended to keep you in the field, not studying on the computer. I do have some stories and general and specific strategies that I use, but the goal of this guide is to for guys who just want to have a lot of women in their lives without ever thinking much about it, K.I.S.S.

The power of the self-fuffiling prophecy. I always heard about "***** shields" being a major problem. I didn't really get them that often, but one day a friend asked me to show him how to "neg", something I really didn't bother to do much of. I set out looking for IODs I could neg, and guess what happened? I got all kinds of **** that night. It was a pretty terrible experience to say the least. worse than any "off" night would bring. The fact is, whatever you think will happen or concentrate on, will probably end up happening. If you assume that women are going to have "***** shields", then it is much more likely to actually happen. If you assume women love you and want to use your man meat, then any such occurance will be seen as cutsey, playing hard to get, or her trying to be funny. It's much better to focus on the glass being half-full. So will you choose to concentrate on the few people who are negative or the overwhelming majority who bring a positive vibe to the table?The choice is yours, but remember what you anticipate and concentrate on is ever more likely to occur.
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/health/2004101546_fearofdying02.html

The power of reciporcation. However you treat others, they are likely to return more of the same. If you flirt and are fun, they are likely to flirt and be fun back. If you are withdrawn and stoic, they are likely to return the same as well. If you don't approach them, they will be less likely to approach you in the future as well. You will slide further in life on bullsh1t than barbed wire. Better to be a fun, socialble guy than a wallflower who sits and waits for the perfect moment to deliver the perfect line (which of course never happens).
http://www.leaonline.com/doi/abs/10.1207/s15324834basp1901_7?cookieSet=1&journalCode=basp

What about having an interesting conversation? If you're an interesting person, then your conversations will be interesting. I'm always telling people about my travels, funny sh1t that happened at night school, something crazy I saw online, my quirky friends, and so on. I have so much sh1t to talk about it would be counter productive for me to try inventing routines. By default, I already have a few thousand things to talk about that could span about 100 years worth of conversation. Getting out of the house (see week 2) will take care of this issue over time. To put things on stereiods, sign up for a trip as a backpacker in Europe, go learn Spanish in a foriegn language school or Russian or get a teaching english certificate in Czech or something. No money? Join some kind of traveling work (sales, bands, I see a lot of ads, sure they are scams but it's bound to be a wild ride), do open mic comedy, join the peace corps or the French foriegn legion, join a group & bicycle and camp across your country, go to a swingers event, get a job on the Vegas strip, ... this is the kind of sh1t that gives conversational material. It's a great technique I call "Having a life", and it's very fun and attractive.



Week 4: Impression Management

I cannot deny that people begin forming impressions before a word is ever uttered. There is something to be said about having a powerful (or at least for now, pleasant) appearance. Everone knows this, but how can one actually accomplish it if he has no sense of style and nervous ticks?

Hair: Most of us have it, and those who do not have the choice of staying without or getting something professional done. Hair styles can say a lot about a person. The best general advice I can give is to get a female opinion on this one if you don't have any idea what you want to do with your hair. If one simply goes in and states "I don't know, what do you think" the odds are the stylist will just keep trying to pull info out of him. I've seen this happen more than once. It's best to have a picture of an example hairstyle that demonstrates your personality or that several women have agreed fits you to take in. Failing this, I recommend just telling the truth "I'm not really up on hair styles and I want to do something that really highlights my best features, what would be a good hairstyle for me?". Notice this is a lot more specific and will get better results than just saying you aren't certain.

Dress: If you have absolutely no sense of style, you might want to get some opinions on this. I can't tell you how many guys I know who think they dress well, only to be laughed at for utter cluelessness. Yes, people do notice these things. I have no idea how women know about style, but I do know there is a fairly high level of agreement. Time after time, the same clothes have gotten thumbs up or dumb when I asked women to rate how they look on me. I have never done so, but if you don't have any female friends to take you shopping, consider hiring someone. They should be able to help you design a look that is pleasing to the eye & fits your personality/lifestyle. IME there is a lot that can be done cheap at second hand stores, department stores, etc. without spending a fortune. If you're really broke you can get by with some Payless shoes for a month or so until they show wear. Oddly enough, I've found women don't seem to notice I am wearing cheap shoes despite their reputation as shoe hawks. If you're 35 and in high-top tennis or othorpedic shoes, however, I can garuantee you they will notice.

Nails/Skin/Hair: There is a lot of bad information out there regarding skin care. If you have any serious skin issues, I urge you to seek out a qualified dermatologist for assistance. Many people do not realize the long term effects of various skin care regimes. It isn't cheap but it's definitely worthwhile. Definitely get a prescription if you have sever dandruff issues. You always want to get the best person for the job and hiring someone is sometimes needed. Significant skin issues need treatment from a medical professional. http://www.aad.org/

Nervousness/Expressiveness: This is a big issue. First of all, there are numerous things we can do about these that don't involve becoming a professional actor. Mentally, one can use the power of the self-fufilling prophecy discussed earlier by mentally rehearsing interactions that go smoothly. Physically one can smile, adjust his stature (stand/sit straighter), and, if panic sets in, use deep breathing to remain calm. All of these things can help with last minute panic or anticipatory anxiety, the trick is to keep doing them and doing them to increase their effectiveness over time. They can only work if they are used. Reducing nervousness and the urge to "remain in control" helps with expressiveness. http://www.salemstate.edu/cal/docs/CALL-public_speaking.pdf

Attitude: I have seen many a man who comes across as believing that everyone is working against him rather than with him. They tend to feel that any other male within a zillion miles is a threat to them, a "chode" that must be verbally assialed. They view any woman's friend as an "obstacle". They are so certain they are to creep out the friends or have a "chode" picked over them that they see everyone around this woman they've made the prize as a source of danger. I find when someone is truly being a "chode", it is quite easy to ignore them, so why spend anytime pondering over them? It's much easier to maintain a sense of abundance when one views the world as a place full of allies than as a place full of enemies who only exist in order to undermine one's success.

 

[Tookie]

Good

 

[DJVladdy]

Keep doin ya thang bro
You know what i gotta say lol, cuz its good advice:
Respek

 

[Huffman]

A nice sum up and reminder to us all.