"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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De-infatuation suggestions needed!

randomshinichi

Don Juan
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I just caught myself falling head over heels in "love" with my current girlfriend (the one I last started a thread about), and it's only been like, what, 2 months old. My gut says that attraction is still there between us, so all is not lost, but I need to really start backing off because looking at the whole situation objectively, she's not made of pure 24K as I thought before. The Book of Pook has been especially instrumental in helping me realize this before it jeopardizes my relationship.

Any suggestions? I think the best course of action is to let the clock tick, see what happens. Spend more time on your own life, I know, goodness knows I've spent way too much time with her the past two weeks. But what else have you guys done when you've caught yourselves falling "in love" too soon? I'm not really comfortable with the idea of dating two chicks at once. Not in my first relationship at least. I know, I'm a hopeless romantic.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Lexington

Master Don Juan
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Make a list of all her negative qualities and take a good long look at it. And you can't tell me she doesn't have things about her that you don't like. She is certainly less than perfect. That will knock her down a peg or two in your mind. Be brutally honest, even if it hurts a little bit. Make this list as extensive as you can. Then go over it multiple times. Do that for several days.

This doesn't only apply to women. You should from time to time make a brutally honest assessment of everything in your life including yourself. Exercises like this help to keep everything in perspective and it reminds us that we must constantly work to improve ourselves and our surroundings. It is always better to be overcritical than to be content.
 

Scars

Master Don Juan
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Just back off and focus on you. Spinning plates doesn't always have to mean another girl. It could mean going to the gym, hanging out with friends, seeing a movie, or whatever. Just make sure you have your "ME" time, or you will quickly find yourself going crazy, or without a girlfriend.

-Scars
 

randomshinichi

Don Juan
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I have 7 things on my list so far. The thing is that yes, a few things on the list do hurt... but the amazing part is that it hurts me to admit it!
 

bigneil

Banned
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Congrats randomshinichi on finding a girl you like that much. You're half way to your goal (step 1 being finding her, step 2 being your ability to maintain composure).

She must be a great girl (especially with only 7 bad qualities).

Also, kudos on catching yourself falling after 2 months (exactly what happened to me during my last oneitis) and recognizing that it's a problem.

Sadly, the only cure for a woman is another woman.

My advice is to try periods of NC immediately while she still has high IL.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

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