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Daygame Approach Insight Needed

Genos

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I've lately started to make approaches, aiming for 2-3 women a day leading into a least a 10 min conversation has been my goal.

I've done this for the past 3 days, and talked to 10~ girls. From my results so far, none of the interactions were 'bad' so to say...but they weren't great either. I wasn't able to really 'vibe' with any of these girls, only having a casual (average-below average) conversation and then one of us leaving (usually me, as I don't want to overstay and persist too much).

In general, I find that I have to initiate the questions and conversation threads - I don't get much, if any, help from them. With women who have been interested in me in the past, I found that it was hard to get them to stop talking, so I'm guessing that something's off on how I'm interacting with new women.

My question is whether these interactions have been lackluster because of my poor cold-approach skills and conversational skills, or because the women weren't interested in me/we didn't have 'chemistry'. I'm not sure where to attribute the failure, and consequently am not sure where I need to improve.
 

ucde

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I'll shed some light on this for you. Its completely different than what you probably think is going on.

The people who you are going to be in relationships with are already picked out by your Higher Self prior to your being born into this world. You still have a choice -- for sure, you don't have to be with these people. But when they appear in your life, the connection/chemistry will just be so obvious, that you'd be a fool not to follow it, and in fact most everyone does.

Rather than waiting to meet this person, you are taking things into your own hands and making something happen. In other words, you are blindly connecting with people like a pinball bouncing off the pegs in a pinball machine -- not that I blame you for that, its a cool training exercise for the personality. You are going to be learn about how much you don't click with everyone, if nothing else.

The people you are meeting are just random people, not deeply connected in any way to your own values or life story. Your life plan does not include them in any significant way. So it just feels like a 20% connection, or a 40% connection. Finding an 85%+ connection is pretty hard just by random chance.

So yeah, if you have no faith in a higher plan for your life, and think you need to take responsibility for the process of meeting your future SO, then that is the danger. Its a huge responsibility. You will probably have to meet many women just to get a pretty poor connection. On the other hand, who knows, anything can happen.

Trusting in a higher purpose for yourself and allowing your natural values and friendships to act as a filter for people entering your life, is IMO the superior way. But day game is also fun. Just don't be surprised if nothing ever really works. Good luck.
 

thatfeel

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What the fvck did I just read

Bro

There is no fate but what we make. -the terminator series

Your response to the OP reeks of thinly veiled defeatism.
 

ucde

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There is no fate in the sense of determinist, choiceless, have-to-do-this.

But there is a larger plan for your life, set in place by people higher up than we usually understand or know about. It will become obvious as the life progresses.
 

Genos

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I'm not sure I follow your logic ucde...it seems too hands-off and unrealistic to expect great women to simply fall into my lap without any action or self-improvement on my part.

I have met women with whom I had fantastic chemistry with - but I was a bit too AFC back then to act on whatever we had, and did not have the social skills to escalate and start anything.

Let's say your theory is true. Even if it is, is your solution to simply do nothing and 'wait' for these predetermined women? That sounds like saying "One day, I'm going to have this great job, gonna be a CEO of a billion-dollar company. I know this is predetermined though, so I shouldn't seek to improve myself to get there."

You say I should follow my natural values and tendencies to filter people ending my life. My natural inclination was to be anti-social, to avoid talking to attractive women because of all kinds of self-confidence issues. Why not improve my social skills, and allow more people to enter my life so that I can interact with them and find out if they 'click' with me?

Does anyone else have input on this? And/or on the original topic >__>
 

ucde

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I'm not against your proactive approach Konduit. I did that myself and it was useful.

Konduit said:
I'm not sure I follow your logic ucde...it seems too hands-off and unrealistic to expect great women to simply fall into my lap without any action or self-improvement on my part.
Great women will fall into your lap. That's how amazing God is.

On the other hand, go out and gather them, if you feel inclined. Work for it, if you feel you must. There is a paradox in human affairs which none escape from, and which I can't explain here, but it is very unlikely that you meet your future Great Woman through your own proactive efforts.

The reason is that the effort itself is a demonstration of non-belief in the felicity of the universe. Sounds crazy, I know. Don't take me too seriously, guys, just scribbling some lines, for your consideration.
 

salinechow

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Ucde is crazy. But also right at the same time. However, it is tough to garner the correct sentiment of his logic in type. So, lets just table that for now and address the question in this dimension shall we.

1st. I would love to know the venue. Bar, coffe shop, street, library, campus, mall???? The setting is important. Different settings come with different attitudes if you are a woman. All with different levels of gaurdedness. Why? Im going to get into that.

2nd. I hate to curtail your #s game because I think volume of approach is important. The more you do the more you get natural at it.
But, try to only approach women one day that return your eye contact. Heres how to spot a elevated level of interest. Make eye contact. When they look away, look away, then within a few seconds, look back...If they also look back within 15-20 seconds you have an elevated level of interest. Approach.
Use compliments sparingly and if at all. Try to "make friends" with your words but make love with your eyes and body language. Your eyes and body should move smoothly. Speak friendly and try to make them laugh, but when they talk check them out. Nothing below the collarbone though. Looking slowly back and forth around the face ears and neck. This confuses the guard and it crumbles. "Is he into me? Or is he just friendly?"

Also, if you feel you are really struggling, lower your HB level for a time or two. Get to know the flow of what its like to have a girl be amazed and into you right away because she has a lower SMV than you. It will give you confidence and poise with hotter woman. Its practice. You can learn alot about fishing by catching sunfish. And when a big bass bites, youll know what to do by muscle memory. For those that dont fish... You can learn alot about driving a motor cycle by first learning to ride a moped.

AVOID interview mode. No more than 2 questions per conversation. I understand with a stranger that there is not much to go on so most guys go into interview mode. Most girls are sick to death of this. One way to avoid this, as you learn, is to turn questions into guesses instead. (This is gold people. Works amazingly!)
For instance, If you approach a girl of obviously ethnicity...Instead of asking her what nationality she is, GUESS! Now, its not a journalism question, its a way for her to open up to you. Two things can happen, both are good. You will most likely guess wrong and she will correct you. No matter what her answer say" Ooo even better" she will want to know why you said that. Dont tell her. Now, you create mystery and interest. Or, you guess correctly and she will be impressed. Both responses though will get her hamster spinning and get her asking you stuff. Now be a player! Go with it.
Works with anything. Guess her perfume. Guess her occupation. Anything. Girls are simple creatures and love games. They are kittens waiting for a new string. Deviate from the crowd and youll be halfway home in the first sentence.
I hate to brag but I have realized (and even been told) my cold approach is very very good. My day game, even better. So I think my advice is worth it.
Research my user name and check out some of my other tips I have dropped around here. So I dont have to repeat them.

However, I will give you one of my favorites for you lazy ones that wont look things up.

Use other women as an opener. Think its crazy? Nope. One of my top choices.

Ask a hot girl if she likes your shirt, watch, hat, or my favorite, cologne (makes them get close to you) for your date(with another woman) tonight.

"HB. I have a hot date tonight and you might be just as beautiful as her. What do you think about ‘this’? ( I have used my date plan, shirt, cologne, etc etc.)

If you get to talking you can always say" Well, this has been really helpful. Thank you. You know, you actually seem cooler then she is. Maybe if it doesn't work out I should take you out instead. Give me your number, you know, just in case." Works amazingly.

So bringing it back to you. (And others)

Whats happening that you are hitting a rough patch, in my opinion, is you are setting off a "fear" response in your approaches. No, I dont mean rapey or creepy or anything like that. I mean we as humans gauge every interaction with another human immediately on a subconscious level, as, comfortable or uncomfortable. Fight, flight, or freeze. This is the guard I am talking about. Every girl knows, what every guy wants. They are training their whole lives to reject this. Even, when they want it too. Thats why women are so confusing. Even when they want you they are constantly convincing themselves not to. Antislvt defense right boys? What you need to do is remove that guard.

Just approaching them in general sets it off. Questions make it worse. To have them let their guard down you need to confuse it by showing them something they have never seen before, and or, make them feel comfortable right away. You can do this by giving them the sense of control over the interaction and removing any "threat" you might be by convincing them that they want to talk to you. This is done by them convincing themselves. Be interesting with guesses. Be sexy with your eyes and body language. Be funny. Treat every interaction like you do not want anything from them.

Specifically, drop hints about talking again and let them seize. "Hey, this has been really nice actually, most pretty girls are *****y. TO BAD WE MIGHT NEVER SEE EACHOTHER AGAIN. We could have some fun." Most girls will chase the goodbye.

HB-" Well this doesnt have to be the last time?" Hand her your phone. Done.

See as an example. You instead of triggering a guard by asking for something from her, you trigger her wanting. Suggestive selling. Now she is comfortable GIVING her info because she thinks it was her decision. Now, also, when you call, she is excited. Again, because she thinks it was her idea. She picked you up. She would feel rejected if you didnt call becasue she will be wondering when she is driving home that night..."Why did I give that guy my number? I hope he calls." Hahahahaa. They are so simple in their complexity.
 

RangerMIke

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The best advice I can give you is to just approach everyone and try to be humorous. Joke around a little. But don't just do this with women you are interested in, do it with everyone. Oh BTW, treat all women the same. Do this and you get in the habit of not coming off as creepy. If you only approach women you are interested in, then you get too nervous and a women picks up on this.

Another thing about approaching women during the day is that to be REALLY good at it, you MUST be good a reading body language. Another thing is that you have to learn to trust your intuition and not allow your high interest to cloud your opinion of what is going on. So often men ignore signs a woman is giving them. This is why it's important to practice on women you are not really interested in so that you can objectively observe female behavior.

Ignore all the PUA BS, it doesn't work. You can not fake it with women, they ALWAYS know. You have to actually be confident and funny and the only way to be this way is practice.
 
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