"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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day after sex upon first meeting.. what's the rule/etiquette about contacting her?

mrRuckus

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I've been reading these boards for a long time, and I admit I've been really slow about getting over my AFC hurdles, but I'm doing pretty well now in the world o' dating. This is my first post.

Anyway, i tried searching for this first and looked through the bible and various articles... I apologize if i missed it..

But, i was wondering what are the rules concerning meeting a girl and having sex with her on the same night? I met her through a friend of mine's girl he's been dating during a little social gathering of about 15 people and from the very beginning of the night i laid C&F on her and it worked like a charm like usual. This is actually my first time I met someone and had sex with her THAT fast (i was always against it before for whatever reason) so i don't know what i'm supposed to do. I woke up in the morning with her and ended up at lunch and my friend and i dropped the 2 girls off after that and went home. I was dumb and didn't really think to get a phone number and only have her AIM name.

What am i supposed to do the next day? Do i treat it as a normal phone number and wait a few days or am i supposed to make some exception to the rule since I had sex with her that fast? Do i just let her wonder whether i'm going to contact her back? I don't want her thinking it was just a ONS... or do I? =p I feel like i should just be like hey what's up i had fun last night and chit chat for 2 minutes.. get her number and call back a couple days later to set something else up.


Oh, i'm not looking for a LTR with her.. just casual dating and hookups for now.

thanks
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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BLUEox117

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Originally posted by mrRuckus
I've been reading these boards for a long time, and I admit I've been really slow about getting over my AFC hurdles, but I'm doing pretty well now in the world o' dating. This is my first post.

Anyway, i tried searching for this first and looked through the bible and various articles... I apologize if i missed it..

But, i was wondering what are the rules concerning meeting a girl and having sex with her on the same night? I met her through a friend of mine's girl he's been dating during a little social gathering of about 15 people and from the very beginning of the night i laid C&F on her and it worked like a charm like usual. This is actually my first time I met someone and had sex with her THAT fast (i was always against it before for whatever reason) so i don't know what i'm supposed to do. I woke up in the morning with her and ended up at lunch and my friend and i dropped the 2 girls off after that and went home. I was dumb and didn't really think to get a phone number and only have her AIM name.

What am i supposed to do the next day? Do i treat it as a normal phone number and wait a few days or am i supposed to make some exception to the rule since I had sex with her that fast? Do i just let her wonder whether i'm going to contact her back? I don't want her thinking it was just a ONS... or do I? =p I feel like i should just be like hey what's up i had fun last night and chit chat for 2 minutes.. get her number and call back a couple days later to set something else up.


Oh, i'm not looking for a LTR with her.. just casual dating and hookups for now.

thanks
dude just call her and tell her what a great night you've had, you already f*cked her youve got her, and youve got nothing to lose.
 

Centaurion

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i remember reading a thread recently that covered this topic.

anyways, just give her a call today and chit chat for a little while, so she doesnt feel like atotal ho and thinks that you've 'used' her.
 

Dapper Swindler

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You already had sex with her, why do you need to talk to her anymore?


Haha! I'm terrible. But seriously, the only thing you can do is contact her and talk to her casually without expectations. Sometimes girls get drunk and do things they regret and she may be terribly ashamed and try to avoid you. Or maybe she thinks you're her boyfriend now. Or maybe she just wanted to get laid and doesn't think of you as anything more than meat. Do what the others have already said. Contact her, chit chat. Just don't expect or assume anything at this point.
 

whistler

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Originally posted by Centaurion
i remember reading a thread recently that covered this topic.

anyways, just give her a call today and chit chat for a little while, so she doesnt feel like atotal ho and thinks that you've 'used' her.
Yeah, you should always contact her the day after (or if not, asap after that).

Unless the girl is a bona fide slut, she will need justification for herself and/or her friends for sleeping with you so quickly.

Usually that justifcation is that (a) she was drunk or (b) you seemed like you could be someone really special. You'll find out which it is when you talk to her.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Devestator

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Not calling after a ONS is a big cause of false rape accusations. So yeah, call her.
 

gruby

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Same thing happened to me last night... Woke up today with her then we had a go 2 more times before i walked her to the train.

When do i call her? Tomorrow?
 

Cremasta

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You're onto a good thing... stick with it.

Call her up the next day and just talk to her like a friend and if she talks about it, just say something like "well, I enjoyed it, got any hints for the next time?" or something else lighthearted (and less corny).
 
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