Day 2: what went wrong

[TheOnlyOne123]

Hi, everyone. I wanted some opinions on a situation that occured with me. Had a Day 2 which i thought went well.. but clearly did not.. heres the story.

Meet this girl at a club.. text her for like 3 days.. finally agree to meet up on a Tuesday.

Meet her at a bar/lounge. We sit at a table.. Have a few drinks.. We're having a great time.. i'm kinoing her subtly. Flirting back and forth.. good jokes.. conversation is flowing..

Pay the tab at bar 1, move to bar 2. We go to get a table.. i pat the seat next to me, she insists on sitting across.. That kind of irks me, b/c as any DJ knows the girl next to you is the spot you want her. Still having a good vibe back and forth. Blah blah Blah..

We go to play darts. Start to up the kino a little bit. Then i go to the bathroom, and realize I had mardi gras beads in my pockets. This stems from our first meeting, where we had this funny joke about her getting a lot of mardi gras beads. I found some extra ones lieing around my room, so i thought i would bring it at as a funny prop.

I come out.. i start talking about the beads.. and i'm like what would you do if i had some.. she's like.. well i already have a lot so i dunno.. and i pull it out and put it on her.. and she's like what, you want me to flash you or something.. (totally sarcastic).. I say, "No i think i deserve a kiss".. I get all close, but don't go through with it.. then she's all "I don't kiss on a first date".. My response.. well i don't consider this a date.. wer'e just hanging out.. "well i don't kiss on the first hang out". I am still very close to her, and i say "Well what if i planted one right now.. what would you do". She's like.. I dunno, probably move.. Why don't you kiss me on the cheek. I say "I'd kiss my mom on the cheek no thanks"..

So after about a minute or two of this.. we drop it.. talk more.. i ask her what she's doing tommorow.. she says nothing what are you doing. I say nada, lets hang out. So we agree to hang out the next night at this other spot. I walk her to the bar, we hold hands.. I go and pay the tab (still no thank you by the way, which annoys me since i must have bought her at least 20 bux of drinks).

Go outside, hold her hand again, after like 2 min of that she kind of slips away from the grip, very smoothly done not showing lack of interest.

Get to her car.. she opens the door.. i go.. oo i think i need a quick kiss.. so we make out ever so briefly.. i see her off, go back to my car.. feeling pretty good.. I even text her that night saying good night.. and replies good night..

Well the next day.. she ignores my calls/texts.. (2 total)..

At first, I coudlnt' figure out what i did wrong.. but the more i go back on the night, the more i think i was needy.. pushed a kiss to hard.. EVEN THOUGH, i consider her a party girl. It's just i don't want a girlfriend, I want some random hook ups.. And with my limited experience at Day 2's, i don't know how to provide that kind of frame where "I just want to **** you".

I wish there was more about this on these boards.. Any comments would be much appreciated.

 

[Max Power]

Pay the tab at bar 1, move to bar 2. We go to get a table.. i pat the seat next to me.

Then i go to the bathroom, and realize I had mardi gras beads in my pockets. This stems from our first meeting, where we had this funny joke about her getting a lot of mardi gras beads. I found some extra ones lieing around my room, so i thought i would bring it at as a funny prop.

"i think i deserve a kiss".. I get all close, but don't go through with it

i ask her what she's doing tommorow.. she says nothing what are you doing. I say nada, lets hang out

.

I go and pay the tab (still no thank you by the way, which annoys me since i must have bought her at least 20 bux of drinks).

i think i need a quick kiss.. so we make out ever so briefly

I even text her that night saying good night

At first, I coudlnt' figure out what i did wrong

Read above

.. but the more i go back on the night, the more i think i was needy.

These are all things I don't think you should have done, especially saying you have nothing to do tomorrow and setting up a day 3.

The others (buying the drinks, texting, asking for a kiss instead of just going for it) you can probably get away with in isolation, but when compounded aren't good. At least you got a make out session.

 

[TheOnlyOne123]

Well it was a day 2, so i don't see whats wrong with buying drinks..

The text after.. ehh i thought that would have been a cute move.

What is a better way to set up a Day 3?

The whole kissing thing was a fiasco, i can't defend that.

 

[xdreamz]

i would just wait for her to call you....get her invested in the interaction.

 

[NickBe]

The thing about not buying drinks is stupid, if you ask her out on the date you are paying if she asks you she is paying. Do not listen to the crap seduction gurus say about trying to be different by not paying. Not paying makes you look like a tightass not different or desirable.

The kiss thing is what screwed you up NEVER ask if you can kiss her. A kiss should come naturally when she is ready and trust me when a girl wants to kiss you she makes it blatantly obvious. You should never ask if you can kiss her! What puzzles me is when she rejected the kiss why did you push the fact and then as if it wasn't enough ask her again at the end of the night.

I never go out on a date with a girl two days in a row, minimum you should have a one day buffer in between any date I prefer at least three days though. This rule is not set in concrete there are exceptions but your situation shouldn't have been one. You should not have asked to go out with her again tomorrow. As far as saying you are not doing anything the next day thats not exactly cool either. Give her a challenge make her think she needs to fight for your attention and that she is not the only thing in your life. If a girl asks me what I am doing tomorrow or any day I usually say 'I am pretty busy' I say it because its true but if it isn't I would say it anyway.

Texting here the same night is gay, texting a chick that you have not already slept with isn't good in general. Sure you can do a follow up call but wait a day at least. Generally speaking the next date should be set-up when you do the follow up call.

I wouldn't have brought the beads not that it is a deal breaker but I just wouldn't have done it.

 

[Lust]

The thing about not buying drinks is stupid, if you ask her out on the date you are paying if she asks you she is paying. Do not listen to the crap seduction gurus say about trying to be different by not paying. Not paying makes you look like a tightass not different or desirable.

The kiss thing is what screwed you up NEVER ask if you can kiss her. A kiss should come naturally when she is ready and trust me when a girl wants to kiss you she makes it blatantly obvious. You should never ask if you can kiss her! What puzzles me is when she rejected the kiss why did you push the fact and then as if it wasn't enough ask her again at the end of the night.

I never go out on a date with a girl two days in a row, minimum you should have a one day buffer in between any date I prefer at least three days though. This rule is not set in concrete there are exceptions but your situation shouldn't have been one. You should not have asked to go out with her again tomorrow. As far as saying you are not doing anything the next day thats not exactly cool either. Give her a challenge make her think she needs to fight for your attention and that she is not the only thing in your life. If a girl asks me what I am doing tomorrow or any day I usually say 'I am pretty busy' I say it because its true but if it isn't I would say it anyway.

Texting here the same night is gay, texting a chick that you have not already slept with isn't good in general. Sure you can do a follow up call but wait a day at least. Generally speaking the next date should be set-up when you do the follow up call.

I wouldn't have brought the beads not that it is a deal breaker but I just wouldn't have done it.

Dude, that's all crap.

What you have said is all useless, it's the repetitive sh!t we hear all the time. Yes, you can text the same night. No, you don't need to wait a while before calling. Yes, you can see her the next day. And NO! You don't have to pay for anything.

You are looking for random hook ups, and a bit of fun. What do you mean you don't know how to frame it? You frame it as FUN. What you did with her today was not fun. It was boring, standard day 2. If you are looking for just a fun time out, you need to vibe a high energetic, exciting feel. You need to be confident and lead the interaction, take risks and be willing to try out new things. Be spontaneous, not the smooth bull you hear about, just be crazy fun.

You can ask her if she wants to kiss you, but you have to do it right. And the way you did it, was not right.

Me: Do you want to kiss me?
Her: Yes.

We make out.

Or:

Me: Do you want to kiss me?
Her: No
Me: Oh I didn't say you could, it just looked like something on your mind. You seem nervous, you keep talking etc...blah blah.

You see? Win-win, it's ****y but funny, it's spontaneous, you're taking a risk!

From what I could make out, your interaction with her was just boring, it wasn't anything she hasn't had before.

Also, I find that if I am looking for just a bit of fun, and not a relationship, my interactions are always full of crazy and exciting events, and if you convey that you are just a laid back guy with a lot of energy that loves a bit of fun, chances are, you can tell her we're splitting the bill and she'll go along with it fine.

Again, you have to do it right, you have to convey fun, you have to seem laid back and not give a damn about whether she thinks you're a tightarse or not.

If you just want a bit of fun, you need to vibe fun and excitement.

 

[NickBe]

@Lust

All Crap?? Man youa re 15 you date *****ng kids. Stick to the highschool forum. Until you sleep with a few real women I think you should just listen.

I never set up a date a day after the next date, I want to take a break from the girl. I want to leave her thinking about me for the rest of the week. I do not see the point of going out with a girl two days in a row you do not even give her a chance to miss you.

He asked for a kiss twice both time from a inferior position.

"I think I need a kiss"

"No i think i deserve a kiss"

He is both times putting the power in her hands. Using the words "I think" and "I need". It is different to saying:

"do you want to kiss me"

or

"you want to kiss me"

There is noting wrong with say to her "do you want to kiss me?" but saying but there is something wrong with saying "I think I need a kiss". So as far as that goes you are wrong.

Why would you text the same night? cant you just call her the day after the date. She has just ended the date with you and an hour alter you text saying "I had fun". Let the ****ing girl wonder a little, let her imagination run wild. However you are a child so you probably text more than me.

The paying is just common courtesy, you ask the girl out on a date you pay. If she asks you out she can pay, what kind of a man makes a girl pay for her own drink when he asks her out? You have probably never been inside a club or bar so I don't think you can comment on who should buy drinks.

Anyway what I wrote is an example of what I do its not repetitive **** since I haven't taken a look at the seduction community in 6 years I have no source to repeat from.

You are probably a virgin still or lost your virginity a year ago so when it comes to getting women into bed you are a newbie.

@TheOnlyOne123

Do not listen to lust he is a 15 year old kids.

Do not ever ask a girl for a kiss you are handing her the power. When she wants to kiss you she will let you know through body language then feel free to say to her "do you want to kiss me?" or just go in for the kiss.

You did right by paying the tab don't listen to all that seduction guru bull****. It is common courtesy man if you ask her out you pay.

Sure you can see her the next day but it is better to have a break between dates. Personally I do not like to be to attainable, she will grow used to it.

Do not call on the same night let her the same night. Wait at least a day by 'a day' I mean the next morning is the new day, call sometime during that day. You do not want to call on the same night and texting is to informal, it is better if she hears your voice.

I have slept with over 70 women in the last few years so I know what I am talking about.

 

[TheOnlyOne123]

What are some better examples of Day 2's.. Where to go.

 

[Charm]

you're a man. You tried to negotiate your close through games. Instead, yo uneed to grab your balls and take action. If you want to kiss her, you kiss her. If she has a problem with it, let her tell you afterwords. She wants to be kissed or she wouldnt be out with you. DO IT NEXT TIME STOP BEIN A PVSSY>

 

[bachelor]

I wouldn't have texted her the very next day... You should wait 2-3 days.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

you're a man. You tried to negotiate your close through games. Instead, yo uneed to grab your balls and take action. If you want to kiss her, you kiss her. If she has a problem with it, let her tell you afterwords. She wants to be kissed or she wouldnt be out with you. DO IT NEXT TIME STOP BEIN A PVSSY>

Charm, you are the man! Such charming words, you merit your name. Totally agree. Most guys give the broad such an easy way out when she wants to reject. Let her bring up the objections. Don't apologize for your desires, don't apolozie for what you might think she's thinking. Don't do it for her. You just go out there and do what you do best. Charm is right, if she wasn't interested, at least before you fvck it all up, she wouldn't be hanging out with you.

 

[Tazman]

You didn't do anything wrong, so many guys fall into this trap. You're at a disadvantage because your attraction to her is stronger than her's to you, it really is that simple. Do you really think asking for a kiss is a deal breaker when a chick is into you? She doesn't have some checklist she goes through giving you bad marks for these petty little things, but many guys would have you believe that it's because you're making HUGE mistakes.

I'm not an outgoing guy at all, I socialize from time to time when it's in me, but for the most part I'm pretty reserved. How could I have ever had the successes I've experienced if I wasn't some socially adept playboy? It boils down to how attracted a woman is to me, it doesn't matter to me "why" she is, just that she is. They ALL made it easy for me to hook up with them because they liked me, that's it. I still had to approach but you're already past that stage. Hell, you've already kissed her.

When you find yourself fighting an uphill battle, it's time to cut your losses and work on something else. If it's already this hard it isn't worth it to try and keep up this dog and pony show for something you can get elsewhere a lot easier. I mean the ***** didn't even thank you for buying her drinks, how rude and ungrateful is that? That's a common courtesy in any situation.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I have slept with over 70 women in the last few years so I know what I am talking about.

You had a lot of great points in your reply, most of which I agree with except for the paying thing. However you completely shifted the focus of your reply into trying hard to look like an E-pimp with the statement above ^^^^. Trying to justify your crediblity over the internet is like playing basketball with a retarded kid and calling him for double dribble...your just going to look like idiot doing it.




PIMP

 

[noirsake]

Some ideas

I will call three days after the number is in my hands EXCEPT on fridays, weekends and mondays. ie I get a number on Tuesday, I won't call till Tuesday coz calling on the weekend makes you sound desperate for a date. Take her on the date and say something that includes call me. If she doesnt call you, she likely has no interest. If she calls you the next day, youre on her mind which is good.

NEVER ask for a kiss. If you know if things are going good and shes into you go for it, but don't give any clues that you are in love with her. You don't pursue her, she pursues you.

I've made all these mistakes coz like most guys, we can fall in love with a gal after the first date which is ok as long as you don't show it or let her affect your daily life, unless youre fvcking her.