bornyesterday
Don Juan
double post
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
David Deangelo - Is it worth it? is it worth my time?
- Thread starter HOT_CHILLI
- Start date
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
bornyesterday
Don Juan
To me body language is THE place to start. It's where communication begins and its the most basic way to make a better social impression.
I focus on my own body language. I dont think as much about how I can use it or change it in certain social situations. If I should find rapport or break rapport, how to dominate or whatever. Not my thing (yet). I'd like to use my concentration for other things. I'm interested in what my body language does to MYSELF. How I feel. That is always the place to start for me.
That's part of the reason I like DD, he is focussed on his own development as well, the rest is secondary. And that's why I dislike ppl like Mystery, who's got an inner void and Tyler who is building an ego via external things.
I work on posture first. Walk with my hips/glutes, not my chest/head. Breath through my entire upper body, not just the chest. Keep the spine alligned. Train my back and chest so they keep posture (try this one: try to get your collarbones parallel to the ground and see how that feels.) Get a feel for your body, love it. Get it in shape, make it strong.
Control you body motion. Know what you do with your body. What unconsious postures you are making in certain situations. Make it a learning experience. Generally don't move to fast and too much, be calm, get a feel for your own body ritm. It's much more easy to control nervousness in your face, arms, upper body then in your extremities like hands and feet. Watch how you are always fidgetting. Personally I think it's better to live in the nervousness then to control the external symptoms of it. Although fidgetting is very annoying and unsexy and needs to be minimized.
Eyecontact is big as well. There is a lot to learn there. Experiment with it. For example keeping it up to long with a stranger, see how it feels. There is so much social, personal and sexual tension in just eye contact, it is amazing. If your eyes stay still and focused in your eye sockets they emanate so much more then those dartling nervous eyes. Become a master of it.
The voice. I haven't started on that one yet. But DD touches on that subject as well. It is very important. Listen to David X or Steve P. They have amazing voices. They talk with their entire body, it's spirited and hypnotical. They must turn women on like crazy with just their voices.
And yes Deangelo's stuff got me started with this. I'm not looking into body language via any school or whatever, I just pick up what I can find and use, learn or experiment with it, keep and discard. I'm not familiar with 'The body language project'. A title like that turns me off but I'll check it out. Could be good.
ps. I think writing down stuff and making notes is awesome. Keep that up.
pps. Checked the body language project. It's purely commercial. You can find the same info on this and other related sites. And its focused to much on little things, forgetting the big picture. So it's not my thing.
I focus on my own body language. I dont think as much about how I can use it or change it in certain social situations. If I should find rapport or break rapport, how to dominate or whatever. Not my thing (yet). I'd like to use my concentration for other things. I'm interested in what my body language does to MYSELF. How I feel. That is always the place to start for me.
That's part of the reason I like DD, he is focussed on his own development as well, the rest is secondary. And that's why I dislike ppl like Mystery, who's got an inner void and Tyler who is building an ego via external things.
I work on posture first. Walk with my hips/glutes, not my chest/head. Breath through my entire upper body, not just the chest. Keep the spine alligned. Train my back and chest so they keep posture (try this one: try to get your collarbones parallel to the ground and see how that feels.) Get a feel for your body, love it. Get it in shape, make it strong.
Control you body motion. Know what you do with your body. What unconsious postures you are making in certain situations. Make it a learning experience. Generally don't move to fast and too much, be calm, get a feel for your own body ritm. It's much more easy to control nervousness in your face, arms, upper body then in your extremities like hands and feet. Watch how you are always fidgetting. Personally I think it's better to live in the nervousness then to control the external symptoms of it. Although fidgetting is very annoying and unsexy and needs to be minimized.
Eyecontact is big as well. There is a lot to learn there. Experiment with it. For example keeping it up to long with a stranger, see how it feels. There is so much social, personal and sexual tension in just eye contact, it is amazing. If your eyes stay still and focused in your eye sockets they emanate so much more then those dartling nervous eyes. Become a master of it.
The voice. I haven't started on that one yet. But DD touches on that subject as well. It is very important. Listen to David X or Steve P. They have amazing voices. They talk with their entire body, it's spirited and hypnotical. They must turn women on like crazy with just their voices.
And yes Deangelo's stuff got me started with this. I'm not looking into body language via any school or whatever, I just pick up what I can find and use, learn or experiment with it, keep and discard. I'm not familiar with 'The body language project'. A title like that turns me off but I'll check it out. Could be good.
ps. I think writing down stuff and making notes is awesome. Keep that up.
pps. Checked the body language project. It's purely commercial. You can find the same info on this and other related sites. And its focused to much on little things, forgetting the big picture. So it's not my thing.
i´ve watched his ****y and funny program and in my opinion it didn´t help me at all. maybe because english is not my language. total waste of time.
in the moment i´m watching his man transformation program. it starts interesting, but i don´t see that program leading to anywhere. it has no ass and no head.
transformation of a man seems to be a too big issue for a dating guru in my opinion.
in the moment i´m watching his man transformation program. it starts interesting, but i don´t see that program leading to anywhere. it has no ass and no head.
transformation of a man seems to be a too big issue for a dating guru in my opinion.
His e-mails were the first "help" I ever got when it comes to dealing with women, but I've never bothered to spend the money on his programs. At the time when i accidentally came across his website and subscribed to his mailing list, I might have been the biggest AFC around, so they definitely helped me to get the right mindset, but it wasn't until I started coming here somewhat recently that I really started to understand how things work. I still haven't had a huge amount of luck, and am definitely still a beginner in all of this, but speaking from experience, it seems like 90% of the info Dave teaches in his programs could be found here for free.
HOT_CHILLI
Don Juan
bornyesterday said:
ive read about 2 body language books and skimmed through 4 others. the ones ive actually read the entire way through were not focused on dating. Im not gonna even bother googling a torrent for david d's program on body language. somehow i just think its gonna be bull**** stuff. i mean non verbal communication is a think that is real and can affect a great many things but i just dont think id trust him just jumping on the topic without studying it for a great many years.
atm im going through The Definitive Book of Body Language and taking notes so it sticks in. this book has got some pretty in depth stuff. you might wanna check it out, not just for the dating scene, its just got a lot of interesting stuff in general. im just hoping to get the important stuff down pat. ive always had a good posture but i need to work on mirroring and such in order to make women that ive just met feel comfortable around me.
also being able to pick up on subtle gestures that can have strong meaning behind them. Its pretty annoying how women have 12-16 parts of the brain devoted to deciphering and communicating body language where as men have only around 4-6. so while they do it all subconsciously , detecting dishonesty, attraction, nervousness and such, we have to learn to do it consciously.
atm at work(supermarket) im trying to get this shy, quiet girl to open up before i ask her out. You seem quite knowledgeable. im getting over my insecurities and nervous ticks but its rarely discussed on what do to when a girl is the shy and quiet one rather than you. got any advice? i might end up starting a new thread on this.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
bornyesterday
Don Juan
start a new thread if its important to you