Daughter's mother

[MarkHammond]

Ok here is the deal I have a daughter with this 19 year old girl and I have been feeling trapped in the relationship for quite sometime. I mean the sex is good but I want to fukk other chcks and not have to sneak so recently we decided to seperate and date other people. We still fukk but she is free to date whoever she likes. My problem is that I think this is gonna backfire because I think that after she dates around and stuff she is eventually want for us to get back together especially since we have a kid and I dont want that. I just wanna fukk her and be free otherwise. What yall think?

 

[Omega]

Should of thought about this BEFORE you had the child.

 

[MarkHammond]

ur absoluteley right but now thats done. What do I do now? just keep doing my thing and hope she find someone new?

 

[Omega]

Well, you have to take responsibility for your actions my friend. The baby is yours, and rightfully, it shouldn't be left with one parent to take care of it.

Review (on paper) exactly what you want. Your goals, where you are now, etc, and figure out if what you think you want is actually what you want. Then, come back here and tell me what you've come up with. I guess you could call it your "gameplan".

 

[icecreaman]

All you can be is honest. I have a lot of friends who are in the same situation as you. Better to tell her now before she brings up marriage. Just remember, to do it gently because if it backfires she could be hitten your ass up for some serious child support.

 

[cave dweller]

support

Hey pal you screwed up.

You've got a problem.

You ever heard of the word condom? How about the word birth control?

Now, go pay your damnnn $300 to $400 a month child support (forever) and move on.

Your only way out is to have some dude (in the future) adopt the child.

cave dweller

 

[ShortTimer]

Staying with a girl you don't like will only make things WORSE. Don't listen to the "be a man and stay with her" crowd, I doubt they or anyone they know have ever been in the situation.

If you and the mother don't get along the child WILL figure that out eventually. Pay your child support, see your child but don't stay with the mom if you don't want to. If you do then in a few years you two will blow up and then she'll make it difficult or imposable to see the child.

Try to move on with your life the best you can and try to stay on good terms with the mom or she can (and probably will) make your life very difficult via our court systems.

 

[Big Pappy]

I'm sure my response won't be too popular.

So, you played around, and now it's time to pay the fiddler. It's obvious that the too of you aren't in love. Since you aren't, it should be easy for you to see other chicks. However, as long as you have this child, there will always be a connection between you and the mother. It's entirely possible to be a responsible father and rarely deal with the mother. The catch is, if you stick your head in the sand and pretend the child doesn't exist, sooner or later, whatever chicks you are interested in well find out. Then, they realize that you don't have a whole lot of character.

You are only as good as your reputation, whether it be chicks, business or just life. If you back out of this responsibility, you are very likely to regret it for one reason or another.

So, keep banging her, if you can. Just do not speak of marriage. Keep your options open. You can date many women and still be a good daddy.

 

[Omega]

I see other people have decided that being a fake father would be pointless. I agree, however, unless she has a stepfather to take care of it then it's better he stays with it then no one.

 

[princelydeeds]

So you got caught. Try to love the kid, but you owe the girl nothing. She was 19 when she got knocked, I assume she's still pretty young. Unfortunately, shes just a young girl. She has lots of maturing she needs to . Shes gonna do stupid things and unfortuantely she will probably leave you at sum point. 19 year old chicks don't know what they want tomorrow, trying to predict what she'll want next year is just silly. Be honest with yourself but be careful not to make the girl resent you. She can/will make your life miserable.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

You foolish bastard - GET A DNA TEST DONE - NOW!!!! - you don't even know that this is your shild - leave this hor alone!!!!

This is not the 'Spanish' hor that I warned you about 8 months ago, is it?????

 

[Walden]

My considered answer is this.
You should decide the terms you want with your daughter's mum. You could be friends, you could be really good for your daughter.

If you're only still screwing the mum cos it's a regular source of easy sex then youre risking the quality of dad you can be to your daughter (ie if you f*** up the relationship with the mum) for something pretty trivial.
If that is your circumstance I'd reccomend you put the mum on a friends tip , which is an arrangement that can last , and develop your player skills to the level where you can get the sex anyway from lots of different women.

 

[princelydeeds]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
You foolish bastard - GET A DNA TEST DONE - NOW!!!! - you don't even know that this is your shild - leave this hor alone!!!!

I second that notion. Get a DNA test asap. Make sure the kid is yours.

 

[cave dweller]

test

I agree---get a DNA test.

20% to 25% of the children born in any state DO NOT belong to the so called 'father'.

I found those stats on the web a couple of months ago.

cave dweller

 

[MoveYourAss...]

Well, I do not agree with PuertoRican Lover choice of words, and I do believe that most of these childs are from women older than 19.
However, I can only stress the importance of testing your fatherhood. Then you can see. I know people who are separate and are both good parents (it's not easy, though), probably better (in those cases) than if they were still together in a fake way.

But I also know a fantastic guy (older than me) who was married 3 times, the 1st and 3rd to the same women!!.

Take it serious, but don't take it to heart.
Take care however, that you don't use her against her emotions (too much) since she could end up hating you and passing that to the child, wich could really be to much for a little human beeing.

Gotta find out. Good luck

MoveYourA$$... and your brain will follow

 

[Luveno]

Are you sure you have to pay child support if you're not married? I'm sure that there's a way out of having any responsibility in a relationship for anything if she's the first one to sleep with another. Infidelity completely negates any obligations you have to her or children you had.

But.
What about the kid? Do you care about her?


Tough decisions. But life is too short to tie yourself down.
Suggest she put the kid up for adoption, because it doesn't seem like you want to have that responsibility, and at 19, it doesn't seem like she's mature enough for that task.

Keep that in mind bro

 

[Falcon Eye]

Originally posted by Luveno
Infidelity completely negates any obligations you have to her or children you had.

Absolutely 100% wrong. Nothing negates any obligation he has to the child.

 

[Luveno]

Infidelity doesn't help her case. Additionally, this it to the fella in question: are you married to this girl? The rules DRASTICALLY change whether you are or not.