Dating Women From Work--->I Don't Suggest It

[Kid Style]

I have been working at a restaurant called Bahama Breeze for 3 years now. A new co-worker 1 month ago just started working there. This person is someone I haven't seen in over 4 years that I used to went to high school with. I was interested to see what's up with her since we had similar interest. Anyways, one date led to another date which led to multiple sleepovers at her place (didn't mean it this way). We did have sex on different occasions.

But I do have a couple problems. I don't want to go into details, but she has some serious family issues and she will not stop talking about it every time we hang out. It has become such a bothersome that I have lost all interest in hanging out with her. Another problem is that she called me one time while she was drunk and expressed her feelings about me...like she cared about me, she wanted to be with me, ect. Usually at this point I would tell the person to move on, and I wouldn't talk to them. But I WORK WITH HER is the problem. I want to minimize any tensions at work between us. I'm the type of person who does not want to create any enemies with people I associate with on a regular basis. I respect everyone, and in turn everyone respects me. Any suggestions on how I would be respectful to this co-worker while taking care of this relationship issue?

Thanks in advance for any help here

 

[Kid Style]

Well, I think I know what to do now. Somehow I have got to make her feel disinterested in me, but in a polite manner. I don't want sh!t talking going around work. Any suggestions here would be greatly appreciated.

 

[connor32]

sit her down in person and talk to her. tell her u don't feel the same way about her anymore and that u would just like to be friends. let her down easy and she'll be less likely to cause drama.

 

[Kid Style]

I guess I should approach the way you told me Conner. Thanks. I was probably making this a big deal more than I should and just flat out tell her should be the best way. Oh well, i better not see tears damm1t.

 

[connor32]

the fact that your worried about tears shows that your not an a-hole. nothing wrong with being a gentleman.

 

[Jaxon]

Be careful with "letting her down easy". No chick likes to be rejected, and doing so will often times make them despise you.

Personally I prefer the minimize method, which is basically you don't hang out that often but when you do, pretend like you don't notice her comments or the fact that she likes you.

If, if she brings up making things official then you just play the "I don't want a relationship right now" card. That way it doesn't sound like you're rejecting her specifically (which you are), it just sounds like you're rejecting an idea, which is easier for her to take.

 

[connor32]

Be careful with "letting her down easy". No chick likes to be rejected, and doing so will often times make them despise you.

Personally I prefer the minimize method, which is basically you don't hang out that often but when you do, pretend like you don't notice her comments or the fact that she likes you.

If, if she brings up making things official then you just play the "I don't want a relationship right now" card. That way it doesn't sound like you're rejecting her specifically (which you are), it just sounds like you're rejecting an idea, which is easier for her to take.

no man. it's best to be straight with her. the quicker she realizes there is no chance the better.

 

[Furyguy]

I had this same problem with a coworker a while ago. I didn't want any relationship out of it, but she did.

I basically did the same thing Jaxon suggested and it worked out perfectly. Just act the way an uninterested girl would act towards you. One word answers, don't laugh at her jokes, decline any offers to do anything social with her, etc. She'll get the hint. Sounds like you already feel this way around her anyways so it should be no problem.

If she gradually catches on that you're uninterested then there's less chance of her erupting when you drop the bomb all of a sudden.

 

[Vlad the Impaler]

I support the "don't bang girls at work" message.

 

[BMX]

I've learned this the hard way. It's not to my preference anymore, it all ended in a fiery crash.

 

[DonGorgon]

Yeh you dont suggest it but it will always happen and is the number one place that affairs happen.. Many people spend more time with their coworkers than they do with their spause or mate.. Yes there will be endless drama, but that will happen under any situation.

 

[verysuave]

how did this lead to YOU asking her OUT? little bit of flirting? then some touching? then you asked her out? Why the fack you skipping the details. Tell everyone here how things really LED to you effing this broad.

 

[Kid Style]

how did this lead to YOU asking her OUT? little bit of flirting? then some touching? then you asked her out? Why the fack you skipping the details. Tell everyone here how things really LED to you effing this broad.

The fact and the details that I asked her on a date is somewhat irrelevant to want I'm trying to find an answer to. Because I lost interest of my co-worker, I want to let her go so she doesn't develop these intimate feelings for me any further while maintaining our "professional relationship." Anyways, I tried Jaxon's suggestion on slowly losing the interest. It's kinda working so far and she is getting the message. On the other hand....

she did call one night complaining about how she lost $400 at a mexican restaurant. I felt a little guilty, so I stayed on the phone with her. Then she started mentioning other issues she had, and I had my fill of her complaints and negativity. I told her to quit being negative and "it wasn't my fault that you lost that money." Of course she thought I was a total a$$hole, but it was midnight and I was tired. I wanted to go to sleep. Now she is sad that I'm ignoring her and keeps calling back apologizing...

Well this is where I'm at in this relationship. She said she may be putting her two week notice in soon to work at a different restaurant. I sure hope she does. I guess I'll keep everyone updated on this