Dating with Language Barrier

[Island]

Hello. I am an WAFC. I considered myself well on my way towards losing WAFCness until I kept getting drunk from late night to early morning.

In any case I am going to break this habit. I swears on the precious!

There are lots of foreigners where I'm at. I will ask some of them out on coffee dates. Do you have any tips for dating someone with a language barrier? I've read Mr. Finger's Mother of All Theories (or something) thread and it seems that most seduction techniques involve language.

What I can do is eye contact and smile. Now....and here's the tricky part. I'm planning to get stuck in a.s.a.p., and I'm going to lack sleep for a day or two.

If any of you guys have successfully seduced anybody while AFC and half zoned out, pls tell me how you did it. I don't expect much. Maybe a kiss, 2nd date, or third base. I've never even kissed a girl before so this is very intimidating.

 

[jakethasnake]

Sounds sketchy to me....

I think that dating a non-English speaker is fine - learning about each others' backgrounds is enriching and fun.


HOWEVER - I see a lot of guys with terrible social/lady skills and low self-esteem who use the language barrier to exploit the woman's cultural inferiority complex. They are terribly intimidated by the women in their own country, and they see the vulnerability of these immigrant or foreign women as the X-factor that will "bring them down" to their level. THIS IS NOT DJ at all. You can be much, much better than that!


What I mean by that is this -- assuming that the woman is the foreigner in the relationship, these women come not knowing the language very well, and actually depend on you to take a deeper look into the society that they're entering. This vulnerability makes insecure men feel bigger, and ultimately less threatened by a woman. For example, if his counterpart was a native born woman with a great job and many friends and connections, he wouldn't feel as big.


Russians, Filipinas, Mexicans.... all these women are exploited many times by native born Americans (of whatever race) who exploit this cultural inequity. I will say this at the risk of sounding like some Feminazi -- it's amazing to me how little and pathetic men can be sometimes.... their need to minimize their women to 'even up the playing field' is sad. It's kind of like how many angry RAFCs here bash women so they can feel bigger and better about themselves. I hope you're not one of them.




And as for the practical advice - just approach them and say hi. Don't act like some shark, just be very unassuming and friendly. She will probably be thrilled that a man - any man- is paying attention to her when she feels like a fish out of water in a strange new country.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

They key to having someone feel attracted to you is having them feel better about themselves when they are with you. Speaking the same language makes it a piece of cake, but speaking isn't the only means of conversation.

 

[Eternal]

Discussion.

 

[Island]

Hmm

I see what you're getting at. I do have an inferiority complex and have trouble approaching women that have their **** together. But I don't prey on dumb women. The worst I will do is look for easy women or become some older woman's ***** boy. Which is very bad, especially that last one. I must not fall that far!

But anyway, what other ways are there to communicate?

Inspiration: Short coffee date, then a sighseeing tour! A good chance to offer her "the crook" and for her to feel the biceps I've been working on!

 

[jakethasnake]

I think a sightseeing trip is a great idea. Though it depends on how long she's been here. If she's just gotten off the cargo bay of a ship covered in grime and lice, then yeah she'll be thrilled to see anything. But if she's been here from several months to even one or two years, then maybe it's a better idea to take her to places which immigrants don't usually go - like a park or a quiet cafe/restaurant that only locals tend to patronize.

 

[Island]

Important point

That's quite a good point Jake.

I'm sure I can find a peculiar place they'd like, provided they're not too jaded.