dating two guys??

[32swf]

my previous situation:

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=44787

so now I've decided that I'm not going to sit around and wait for this guy to make up his mind, and take his suggestion for me to date other guys. So I have a first date tonight with a new guy and I'm not sure how to approach it. Do I let him know that I'm seeing someone else too, or not? Do I tell the first guy that I've started to see other people? or do I just wait until it comes up?

 

[Big Pappy]

You're on a first date with a new fellow. There's no reason to tell the new guy anything. The wishy-washy fellow, who's so scared of being hurt, I'd just play the yo-yo game with him. When you want him, just tug on the string.

 

[Survivor]

Wait until it comes up.

Its only a first date. If either one asks, be truthful and tell them, but don't give graphic details.

Relationships are a private matter and unless you intend on being exclusive with any of these men, what happens between you and other men is none of their business.

 

[Sexy_Malibu]

I think when two people start dating it's usually assumed that one or both of them are also dating other people. If he specifically asks you "are you dating other people?" DON'T LIE. Tell him "Yes". (You can downplay it a little if you want to, but no actual lying). If he doesn't ask, then you're not under any obligation to tell him anything until when/if things get serious.

 

[32swf]

aghh

so the date with the new guy went really well. great conversation, excellent dinner and her asked for my number at the end and said he'd like to go out again.

but I think the wishy washy guy is blowing me off. He seems to be avoiding me, and hasn't made any effort to see me since I've gotten back for an 8 day vacation on Monday. We've IMed and he called once, and IMed me yesterday to say he'd gotten a new job and that he'd call me soon. but hasn't.

I really want to to call him and tell him that if he doesn't want to see me anymore, I'd appreciate if he at least returns my CDs that he borrowed.
should I? or do I just wait it out?

 

[TesuqueRed]

Just call and get your CDs. Nothing more. Don't send signals, don't look for signals.

You're acting as if he still has an 'option to purchase' for you. He doesn't. You've kept that open long past due--time to close it. Someone new has come along and now has the option--not an exclusive option, right?--he just has AN OPTION.

The other guy's option expired. Now he's gotta work for it. You holding it open past due date leaves you in a pathetic position.

Avoid that.

 

[TesuqueRed]

...and 32--I forgot--you're in that dangerous age for women where they have to get married or settle down and pursue the husband/child thing or face not having it on schedule like their friends or mothers expect.

Ok--not that they HAVE TO, but that from a guys perspective, women hit the wall at that age about marriage and kids and play for keeps at that point. I'm past that age and I know how women get "un-datable" during that time--that a guy has to be doubly careful when dating a woman between 27 and 34 (give or take)---you going thruough that?

Yeah--I know--that's kinda impolite, but I ask since I wonder if something like that driven agenda to get married/have kids is playing out with you and is scaring off guy #1.

Just wonderin...I don't know your history or what you're broadcasting.

 

[32swf]

hmm even more confused

so I called guy #1, fully expecting to leave a message, but he answered. so we chatted for a few minutes and then I said I was calling to get my CDs back.

And he says "hey why are you calling for that, do you think I'm blowing you off. I kinda laughed and he kept saying "I'm not blowing you off, I was just about to call you and find a time to get together." I told you I was working a lot this week. you don't believe me do you? I can't believe you don't believe me!!"

I said " no"

and he said "I wouldn't blow you off, you're normal and nice. Things are slowing down now. I can probably do something on Thursday or Friday or Sunday, or maybe on Tuesday."

so I said OK, and we chatted for about 10 more minutes and I said I'd let him go. and then I went for a walk in the snow.
So AGAIN, I guess I'll wait and see what happens. I think I have a date with guy #2 this weekend, so I guess things are going well.

 

[Craig Reeves]

When he accused you of thinking that he was blowing you off, you should have let him know that you have you're own life and that you aren't THAT hung up on him, geez. This would have actually made him feel a lot better. You're dead-on right about not calling him anymore though, because I can already tell he's starting to feel smothered.

 

[32swf]

what?

smothered?? there is no possible way he's feeling smothered. I haven't seen him in over 2 weeks and only talked to him twice since I got back from vacation. I'm careful to NOT smother him. I'm playing it very cool and casual. I HAVE started to see another guy. It's not my job to make him feel better. HE's the one who brought up the idea of him blowing me off. I didn't mention it. I just wanted my CDs back. But since he brought it up, I wanted him to know that's what I was thinking. HE must've had a guilty conscious to have brought it up. If we are going to be dating, I would just like a little more attention. I shouldn't be thinking that he's blowing me off, unless I have reason to!