Dating to BF/GF

[AlmostSuave]

I'm new to the site. Been trying to browse for answers to this question but haven't found any, hence my post.

I'm in my late 20's and my last relationship was a few years ago. Been dating a girl I've known for about a year, since 3 months now. Prior to dating we've hung out several times and have gotten to know each other a bit. Things are going great. Making several near term vacation plans together, we got out a few times a week, blah blah. We're exclusively dating. I know there is no one right answer, but I'm thinking of asking her to be my GF. 3 months too soon? Thanks!

 

[Purefilth]

Never ask to be exclusive, that's just school yard stuff bro just keep going, if you're doing well and she feels the need to make sure your all hers, then let her ask you.

 

[AlmostSuave]

Thanks brotha. She asked to be exclusive in dating and I was cool with it when she asked. Do the same thing about becoming gf/bf?

 

[Purefilth]

Thanks brotha. She asked to be exclusive in dating and I was cool with it when she asked. Do the same thing about becoming gf/bf?

pretty much, but if she asked to date exclusively already, then she probably is assuming the position of gf...
Is she acting as a gf?
Has she moved some of her stuff into your bathroon for 'convenience'?
Has she stayed over for 3 consecutive nights?
(last question isnt really relevant unless it happens often)
Does she send random updates on her day or cute messages for no reason?

 

[AlmostSuave]

pretty much, but if she asked to date exclusively already, then she probably is assuming the position of gf...
Is she acting as a gf?
Has she moved some of her stuff into your bathroon for 'convenience'?
Has she stayed over for 3 consecutive nights?
(last question isnt really relevant unless it happens often)
Does she send random updates on her day or cute messages for no reason?

Haha, well...she invited me to her family members wedding in a few months, she puts pics of me and her on FB, she does text throughout the day asking what I'm doing, etc...she's inviting me to visit one of her friends up north.

I feel like we are which is really fine by me...it feels natural. But the words haven't been spoken!

 

[Purefilth]

Sounds like shes your girlfriend to me brother Just bee cool about it. asking her would come off insecure/needy, you dont need to verify it vocally. You'll be fine.

Just at the friends place, or at the wedding.... if someone asks

"oh, is this your boyfriend?"

instead of that awkward look between the two of you (you know the one, right?) just say, with no hesitation...

"yeah,Hi I'm Almostsuave"


Big smile and offer your hand.
Then act like everythings normal. She'll melt for you and you'll get some awesome wedding/new girlfriend sex!!

There is a small chance that shell call you a presumptious a$$, but chances are her panties will be moistening up for you while she says it. Since she'll really be loving the fact that you said it (i.e. told her, not asked) in public.

note: that scenario only works if you've not had her ask yet.

 

[AlmostSuave]

Sounds like shes your girlfriend to me brother Just bee cool about it. asking her would come off insecure/needy, you dont need to verify it vocally. You'll be fine.

Just at the friends place, or at the wedding.... if someone asks

"oh, is this your boyfriend?"

instead of that awkward look between the two of you (you know the one, right?) just say, with no hesitation...

"yeah,Hi I'm Almostsuave"


Big smile and offer your hand.
Then act like everythings normal. She'll melt for you and you'll get some awesome wedding/new girlfriend sex!!

There is a small chance that shell call you a presumptious a$$, but chances are her panties will be moistening up for you while she says it. Since she'll really be loving the fact that you said it (i.e. told her, not asked) in public.

note: that scenario only works if you've not had her ask yet.

Nice. Dude, write a book about this stuff. I'll buy it! - aka latebloomer

 

[AlmostSuave]

Nice advice. Nope, haven't asked her anything yet.

 

[DonJuanabe]

Take it even further: you don't ask to be BF/GF, don't ask to be in a relationship, don't ask to be exclusive, don't ask what she thinks about the two of you, don't ask anything about anything related to the two of you. Same for telling rather than asking -- don't tell her you want to be exclusive, etc. All discussions about status should be left to her.

 

[AlmostSuave]

Regardless of how long we've been dating or how good or bad it's going? Just do my thing and she'll ask the right questions? Thanks Don.

 

[DonJuanabe]

Yes. You *DO*. You do not *ASK*.

 

[Purefilth]

^^^^this^^^^
well put DJ

 

[DonJuanabe]

Well, I know from experience not to do this. If you have to inquire it means she isn't sure what she wants, and the moment you inquire she will see you as being less of a man than she thought, which will push her further away from the "I want him to be my BF camp". Remember that even if you're dating someone regularly she has other options waiting, and if you appear needy while one of her options doesn't, it won't be long before she is seeing the other guy on a regular basis and you no longer.

 

[AlmostSuave]

Does it matter where along the relationship it is? It's been three months since we first started dating but I feel like we're together already. We're traveling places together (Hawaii, weekend getaways), going to concerts and sporting events, etc. Do the same thing regardless of where the relationship is? Plus, how do you respond where she asks the question "what do you think of us" or of the sorts. Thanks.

 

[pdx1138]

It's been three months since we first started dating but I feel like we're together already.

Plus, how do you respond where she asks the question "what do you think of us" or of the sorts. Thanks.

at the three month mark....it's likely to occur any day now, possibly right after morning sex.

maybe a bit longer since you two already know each other so long.


when I was asked (and this might not be a good answer) I told her I wasn't seeing anyone else and
that I really liked her. She led the convo onto wanting to have kids and thats where things went
south since I don't want them.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Here's the thing: most guys are told THEY have to be the ones to initiate the whole relationship thing, or verbalize their feelings, etc. Don't fall for it. That's not YOUR job, that's HER job.

The best part, though, is that she WANTS it to be her job. As long as you're continuously doing things together, and she's actively taking part in the relationship (i.e. planning things, doing nice things for you, etc.), you're GOOD. She already asked to date you exclusively - it's not the same wording, but it means the same thing.

If it really becomes a thing where an "official title" needs to be spoken, SHE'LL bring it up. She won't be able not to. A girl can only bang a guy for so long before she starts wondering if he's with her solely for the sex or "something more" - at which point, she'll say those 3 magic words that let you know she wants you to claim her as the GF:

"What are we?"

If you ever hear those words, THAT'S the time for the discussion. And even then, play dumb. Don't say "well, I thought we were boyfriend and girlfriend." Get it out of her. The girl I'm currently dating now asked me this question; my response? "Well, what would you like us to be?" At that point, you simply guide the convo until she says something along the lines of "So, can I call you my boyfriend/can I call myself your girlfriend?"

Really easy stuff!

 

[AlmostSuave]

Here's the thing: most guys are told THEY have to be the ones to initiate the whole relationship thing, or verbalize their feelings, etc. Don't fall for it. That's not YOUR job, that's HER job.

The best part, though, is that she WANTS it to be her job. As long as you're continuously doing things together, and she's actively taking part in the relationship (i.e. planning things, doing nice things for you, etc.), you're GOOD. She already asked to date you exclusively - it's not the same wording, but it means the same thing.

If it really becomes a thing where an "official title" needs to be spoken, SHE'LL bring it up. She won't be able not to. A girl can only bang a guy for so long before she starts wondering if he's with her solely for the sex or "something more" - at which point, she'll say those 3 magic words that let you know she wants you to claim her as the GF:


"What are we?"

If you ever hear those words, THAT'S the time for the discussion. And even then, play dumb. Don't say "well, I thought we were boyfriend and girlfriend." Get it out of her. The girl I'm currently dating now asked me this question; my response? "Well, what would you like us to be?" At that point, you simply guide the convo until she says something along the lines of "So, can I call you my boyfriend/can I call myself your girlfriend?"

Really easy stuff!

Good sh*t. Thanks man!