Dating the 8+

[Foe]

So been seeing this ex-model from Mulan semi famous has her own IMDB etc.

On Saturday I went to a mates party, ended up staying until 3am and when I checked my phone I had a couple of messages and missed phone calls, "are you ok" type thing.

We were supposed to go to dinner Sunday night but she cancelled saying "I didnt hear from you so I made other plans". I replied "no problem have a nice day".

Ive had a pretty good run lately, my last three girlfriends have been pretty high on the SMV but this kind of thing seems to be a given with the hotties. Get really pissy quick when they dont get there way. To be fair Ill trade the bitchyness over lower SMV but it does get tiresome.

Feel free to critique my handling of the matter. Just got a message then "Are you free to meet today". Could be good or bad, not sure yet.

 

[Sega Genesis]

We were supposed to go to dinner Sunday night but she cancelled saying "I didnt hear from you so I made other plans".

How long had it been since she heard from you?
.
Did you not respond to her "are you okay"? texts?

If not why not?

Need more context.

 

[Foe]

How long had it been since she heard from you?
.
Did you not respond to her "are you okay"? texts?

If not why not?

Need more context.

She messaged and called around 11pm I called back at 3ish, yeah it was way too late but wanted to have the missed call in her phone to reduce the backlash. I messaged the next mourning around 11 about the dinner plans but got the response as mentioned. The hard core play would to have completly ignored her until the next night and said what time should I come over.

That would probably have landed me in the same situation but I would have had better frame.

 

[justaroundthecorner]

Perhaps she was angry that instead of meeting with her on Saturday, you two had fixed date on Sunday night - as Saturday night is the highest value time for the most of people therefore she wanted to let you know this way that she should be the priority on Saturday.

If you two have agreed (whether implicitly or explicitly) that you will go alone to the party, then she probably expected at least a call during the party showing her that you are interested what she is doing and telling her what are you doing.

This is even more the case If she has expected you to spend Sat evening with her or propose something for Sat but you decided to just inform her that you will attend the Sat party alone.

So this may be a natural mix of her trust issues as well as feeling that you do not give her enough attention or you two are at the stage of relationship according to her that would require better communication about days like Saturdays - if you want to keep her as a "plate" then this will probably end soon as she will notice your lack of attachment - however if you want her to be your GF now would be the time to "pull" her towards you (as she read your previous behaviour at least to some degree as push or non-pull/ambigous).

Either way, now is probably the time for you to act like don juan - if you will choose cold player approach, she may think you are not that interested in her.

However if she said before that she has no time on Sat therefore you decided to go for a party - this might be the indicator of trust issues on her part, or more aggressive play on her side - in this case better communication and increasing her interest with some don juan game would probably be recommended.

 

[Bible_Belt]

They all get fat. Realize her stock is declining every day. Looks are like a flower that blooms and then dies. Enjoy it now, but it doesn't last.

 

[Foe]

in this case better communication and increasing her interest with some don juan game would probably be recommended.

Yeah we have only been dating for 3 weeks and this party (friends 40th) has been in the works for 6 months. I was thinking about blowing off the party and to be honest this would have been a play I would have taken 5 years ago but having seen the results of my over investment followed by a lack there of on the other parties behalf I decided to stick with the original plan. I did half invite her but this was with 100+ people all of which she didn't know so I just didn't see it as a good outcome.

Anyway we'll see what she does when we go "for a walk".

 

[justaroundthecorner]

Anyway we'll see what she does when we go "for a walk".

Treat it as a date ofc and don't get provoked, play assuming sale is in progress etc.

 

[Bingo-Player]

They all get fat. Realize her stock is declining every day. Looks are like a flower that blooms and then dies. Enjoy it now, but it doesn't last.

Men no matter what the age are generally awful at assessing a woman's true value , we mostly become dumbstruck by the face and bodies of women

It's a running joke within the Femosphere that it takes so little to impress a man the compliment is basically worthless

I'm not a massive fan of the number scale to rate women either primarily because it is so easy for them to ascertain very high scores its basically stay fairly slim , use some makeup and dress well and you'll pretty much guarantee yourself a 7 on most mens scales

With the right life experience a man can start to assess the women around him better but very few men really bother

I find it a bit wierd when I encounter men in their 40's and 50's drooling & lusting over women

 

[BeExcellent]

She messaged and called around 11pm I called back at 3ish, yeah it was way too late but wanted to have the missed call in her phone to reduce the backlash. I messaged the next mourning around 11 about the dinner plans but got the response as mentioned. The hard core play would to have completly ignored her until the next night and said what time should I come over.

That would probably have landed me in the same situation but I would have had better frame.

Never call someone in the middle of the night. Never. Let her wonder where you are & who you are with....Calling her in the middle of the night tells her without a doubt two things:

1. You got nothing else going on

2. You like her too much

Chillax. Attraction grows in your absence (in her mind when she wonders about you & what you are doing.)

With hotter girls solid frame is required. Learn & do better going forward.

Cheers

 

[Solomon]

I find it a bit wierd when I encounter men in their 40's and 50's drooling & lusting over women

It's not actually if you think about it, most men even in marriages, aren't getting laid like people think there is a reason the reddit r/deadbedrooms exists. Imagine a guy in a 20-year marriage, and the last 5 has no sex with his wife. He 1. Starts looking for it elsewhere or 2. Once he's free he's out there like a hound dog

So been seeing this ex-model from Mulan semi famous has her own IMDB etc.

On Saturday I went to a mates party, ended up staying until 3am and when I checked my phone I had a couple of messages and missed phone calls, "are you ok" type thing.

We were supposed to go to dinner Sunday night but she cancelled saying "I didnt hear from you so I made other plans". I replied "no problem have a nice day".

Ive had a pretty good run lately, my last three girlfriends have been pretty high on the SMV but this kind of thing seems to be a given with the hotties. Get really pissy quick when they dont get there way. To be fair Ill trade the bitchyness over lower SMV but it does get tiresome.

Feel free to critique my handling of the matter. Just got a message then "Are you free to meet today". Could be good or bad, not sure yet.

I don' see how you did anything wrong, the thing with hot women is you don't get as much grace or room to EFF up, especially if she's assessing her values comparative to yours. This is where you have to understand that just because she is hot nothing changes, you don't chase, you don't become needy if anything the hotter she is the more you become indifferent.

 

[Foe]

I don' see how you did anything wrong

Yeah maybe I didnt. Went on "the walk" she was bubbly, happy, I hinted on the day before and she dismissed the conversation and moved it to other things. Got back to hers, she made me a awesome meal (shes a good cook so +1 there) and we ended up cuddling on the couch. It was at this point she has the conversation explaining how she thought I was with other woman and she felt insecure. She approached it maturely so I re-committed my intentions to her (might have been a mistake who knows) and then we banged each others brains out.

All in all this felt like the first of what is likely to become a series of **** tests which I need to be careful not to over commit and keep some level of independence. I'm traditionally not very good at this and honestly feel like I said too much last night, I like you etc.

 

[Foe]

Annnnd we are still going. After I leave I get "It was cold the way you left. Im not sure I can handle this anymore.

This is after I cuddle her for 30 mins, tell her I like sleeping with her, have a nice day and if she wants to come over tonight let me know. Kissed her goodbye. How the F is that cold. Christ.

 

[Foe]

This is what Im dealing with...

 

[Clockwerk50]

Nothing is more unattractive than someone who is never content with the person they’re with. At first, they’re excited, but soon they zero in on flaws, compare you to others, and eventually chase the next shiny option. Often they’ll try to “improve” you, but the real issue isn’t you, it’s their own deep dissatisfaction. They’re usually unhappy with themselves, carrying a sense of emptiness or restlessness that no partner can fill.

Does her history show a string of short, messy relationships? Is she constantly testing you instead of enjoying the time together? Does she try to reshape you into what she wants rather than appreciating your unique qualities? What is her “situation” on her text?

In the end, they can’t appreciate what makes you who you are, only what you’re lacking. Best move is to walk away before you get pulled into their endless cycle of disappointment.

 

[Foe]

In the end, they can’t appreciate what makes you who you are, only what you’re lacking. Best move is to walk away before you get pulled into their endless cycle of disappointment.

Yeah totally agree with everything you said.

Here's my reply. I'm ready to walk to be honest.

As far as I'm concerned I did treat you with love and respect, I held you in my arms, thanked you for your time, wished you a good day, kissed you goodbye and invited you over for dinner tonight. There's nothing more I should do or will do than that. Offer stands if you commit to not message me like this again.

 

[Foe]

The reply.

I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant to say. This morning I felt rejected sexually and emotionally and it hurt deeply. I know neither of us wants to wound the other, but the truth is, we seem to be emotionally misaligned. Let’s not keep hurting each other unintentionally just because of who we are.

 

[ValiantMale]

I don't think you did anything wrong brother. Some girls are just weird and needy.. For me, I tend to not focu son the problem or arguements they start and just direct their attention to whats good/try and flatter them nd make them feel secure.. It's tough though I had to cut off a girl I just started talking to again recently because of this.. She would always whine about everything and it was very hard to create any stability.

If you notice she keeps starting sht and seems like she got deep issues/baggage.. just move on brother.. theres so many fish in the sea why waste time on a headache?

 

[pipeman84]

Does her history show a string of short, messy relationships?

That's a very good question, @Foe please address it. Also, how old is she?

 

[BaronOfHair]

So been seeing this ex-model from Mulan...

She was a voice actress in the '98 flick, or starred in the live action reboot released a couple of years ago?

 

[Sega Genesis]

The reply.

I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant to say. This morning I felt rejected sexually and emotionally and it hurt deeply. I know neither of us wants to wound the other, but the truth is, we seem to be emotionally misaligned. Let’s not keep hurting each other unintentionally just because of who we are.

Hey @Foe did you ever respond to this^^? Is it safe to assume y'all worked it out and came to a mutual understanding?

This sounds like quite an intense and emotional relationship for only three weeks in. Which can be good and bad.

And I give her credit for opening up, being honest and vulnerable with you versus saying nothing and playing the "distance/pull back" game in response to her hurt feelings or even choosing to walk away herself

Which typically leads to a constant push/pull dynamic which can be exciting but usually ends up going nowhere. Nowhere good anyway.

She took a risk by being open and honest as in response to that you could walk. And no one would fault you if you did!

Anyway curious what happened.