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Dating someone with herpes?

Toddy

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Starting seeing this chick for a few weeks now, really like her and see her as an LTR prospect. She’s 45 never married, no kids but I suspect she was a bit wreckless in her younger years.
We’re just about to get down to business, when she tells me she caught herpes 10 years ago, and still has the occasional flare up.
Anyone dated someone with herps? Should I walk away? Anything I can do to mitigate my risk?
We’ve both sent away for STI tests before we get in to it.
Had I known at the start I would’ve probably walked away, but I’ve really caught feelings for this one.
Any thoughts welcomed….
 

Toddy

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To add I’ve had the snip, so had planned going bareback but so sure now though.
 

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The Duke

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When the subject of submitting for STI tests came up, did she not admit to having Herpes then?

Of course she didn't tell you she had herpes from the start. How self-serving of her.

If you had 2 other girls you were seeing, just as good as this one but neither had herpes, would you even be posting this question?

You can do better.
 

RickTheToad

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Hard pass. Herpes is forever. It's worst than HIV, as HIV has a proven treatment and recovery. HSV can lead to other viruses and fvcks with your immune system. Not worth the risk if you can avoid it. Never, go raw dog into anything not secure and a full STI/STD panel run on both.
 

Toddy

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In case you’re not another troll, why do you see a LTR with her?

Just asking because you might already know posters will immediately dismiss LTR potential because you mention her age, which many posters here would automatically disqualify :)
I really really like this girl, I’m 49 so good age for me. She shows real burning desire for me. I’ve never had this to this extent before.
 

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The Duke

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I really really like this girl, I’m 49 so good age for me. She shows real burning desire for me. I’ve never had this to this extent before.
You've known her for a few weeks, haven't even had sex with her. How do you know she isn't crazy?

The love chemicals are clouding your vision.

The fact she has never been married is a question I would be asking.
 

Pierce.Manhammer

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Ok so since you’re going to have sex with her regardless of what we say:

Ask or suggest that she take valacyclovir, acyclovir or famciclovir daily as a guarantee that she does not OB or shed.

Also suggest she start taking lysine daily, per manufacturer instructions. You can also ask your doctor to prescribe YOU the aforementioned as a preventative.

You most likely are going to be exposed condom or not, and oral will expose you as well. If she’s not willing to do the above it’s next.
 

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Pierce.Manhammer

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Additionally:
Some say eating more lysine (found in dairy and fish) and less arginine (found in nuts and chocolate) can help control them. Lysine might block the stuff the cold sore virus needs to grow. There are also lysine supplements, but the jury's still out on how well they work for everyone. Before trying this out, best to check with a doc to make sure it fits with your health plan. Talk to your GP about this and be frank.

I’m not trying to rain on your parade with this chick, I’m just trying to provide information you may not have had.

I wish you the best of luck.
 

Machine10033

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I donated blood on Friday. Woke up today and noticed an itchy.. blister looking rash around the site where they put the needle. It’s annoying AF but put some calamine lotion on... it will be gone in a day or two.. and I now know I can avoid it because I must be allergic to the adhesive.

Now imagine that on your ... except it might never stop coming back.

That chick made bad decisions which she must live with... it’s insane, in my opinion, that your contemplating a relationship ship with her and possibly taking on her burden ?
 

Masculinity

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Starting seeing this chick for a few weeks now, really like her and see her as an LTR prospect. She’s 45 never married, no kids but I suspect she was a bit wreckless in her younger years.
We’re just about to get down to business, when she tells me she caught herpes 10 years ago, and still has the occasional flare up.
Anyone dated someone with herps? Should I walk away? Anything I can do to mitigate my risk?
We’ve both sent away for STI tests before we get in to it.
Had I known at the start I would’ve probably walked away, but I’ve really caught feelings for this one.
Any thoughts welcomed….
Yes, absolutely RUN away. A broad with herpes is not an LTR prospect, brother. You can do better.

We’re just about to get down to business, when she tells me she caught herpes 10 years ago, and still has the occasional flare up.
The way this was written gives me hope, as in, it is possible that you did NOT have sex with her. I think deep inside you know the right answer. Do not let emotions to override logic. Putting your health at risk over some poon is a poor choice at best.
 

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RickTheToad

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Ok so since you’re going to have sex with her regardless of what we say:

Ask or suggest that she take valacyclovir, acyclovir or famciclovir daily as a guarantee that she does not OB or shed.

Also suggest she start taking lysine daily, per manufacturer instructions. You can also ask your doctor to prescribe YOU the aforementioned as a preventative.

You most likely are going to be exposed condom or not, and oral will expose you as well. If she’s not willing to do the above it’s next.
No. valacyclovir is not 100%. Actually, it's only 48% effective. Additionally, a lot depends on how strong her immune system is and how high the viral load is. Lysine 1k a daily would also help. Some studies have shown it as effective as valacyclovir and it's variants.

Just because she says she's going to take it, doesn't me she won't "forget". Not worth it dudes.
 

Pandora

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So I got herpes from a chick about 12 yrs ago. Some dumbazz ex stripper.

Never had a flare up. Only evidence of it was about a day after the encounter I got a small bump. I was in a medical school program at the time so i knew what it was immediately. I texted a pic of it to my resident friends and my friend who got herpes before and they confirm.

I also did bloodwork and it confirmed my IG antibodies levels. My homie caught it a few years before and it was really bad for him. I was blessed because its been dormant. Nothing at all.

It can get bad if you dont have the immune system that keeps it at bay. Dont play around with it. My buddy has stories about it being bad for 9 months. Its not worth it homie.

But hey you might be a fortunate one who only gets a small initial outbreak and nothing else ever.

Thing is I have had dozens of partners after the initial event and never passed on anything. I even told most of them and they did not care. They trusted me.

Basically dont do it!

Btw I even used a condom. Its doesnt matter.
 

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Murk

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I was seeing a girl in 2019 that told me she had herpes (HSV1 - basically mouth herpes on her genitals) after we had been barebacking from the first date, she'd just got the results (so must have suspected something before telling me) I was really sad, she was gorgeous, intelligent, funny, tall (5'10). Sadly I had to next her. It just wasn't worth the stress. I could see myself having kids with her. Since then no girl I've met has come close to captivating me the way she did.
 
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