Dating Sober

[Knight's Cross]

So I'm off booze, and have been for awhile. Well over a year. It feels great physically and mentally. The one big downside is dating. You tell a new woman that you don't drink and I've had various reactions. Some bolt immediately, some act cool with it for awhile. Either way it's not been well received. I'm cool with a date having a glass of wine or a ****tail. Usually when they ask why I don't drink I tell them it's just not my thing. Of course that doesn't add to my mystery, it basically makes them uncomfortable.
So I'll open it up. For those of you that don't drink, how have you handled this area of your life?
Thanks,
KC

 

[backbreaker]

I drink now but for about a 7 year period i didn't drink at all. For the most part I'd just avoid the issue entirely i'd usually order virgin daquari's . i like taste of daquari's anyway .


if someone asked i why i'm not drinking i would tell them i don't really want a drink. if they asked why / pressed i would tell them i don't drink. if they got this far i've pretty much decided i'm not going to see them again anyway because they are too nosey / ask too many prying questions.


even so, a woman who won't date you because you dont' drink frankely is doing you a favor. When I met my wife and i told her tha ti didn't drink not only was she okay with it, SHE stopped drinking around me because she didn't want it in my face. after a few years i told her it was okay for her to drink and only now do we both drink at home and even now, not often


it's a screening process. **** if i were single i'd tell girls i don't drink just to see how they react.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Thanks Gentlemen,
Some good responses. I guess part of it is the venue I've met some of them in. Tapa's bar's with live music. Lots of alcohol flowing. I usually order a Tonic with Lime. Then the round of questions begin. Usually just tell them I don't drink. I think where I am, there's a lot of alcohol abuse perhaps. People just find it strange when you aren't right there with them. I do race bikes so I use the fitness regime as a reason.
KC

 

[Skip To My Marriage]

it's not the drinking that matters, its the "her relaxation level that allows the slut in her to come out" that matters. You can always say that you're high on life and always in a "drunk" state of mind when it comes to partying, and, she will follow your lead in her own way

 

[Kailex]

It could be one of many things... but I'll narrow it down to 2:

(1) It could be the way you are saying it. If you aren't saying that you don't drink because it's a choice, with confidence, then you are doing the job for them to potentially disqualify you. You have to say it and own it like it's NOT a bad thing at all. I know, because I've DQ'ed women who won't drink.

(2) It could be because you are meeting them at a bar, so the last thing they expect is for you to order a tonic and lime and not an actual drink.

Honestly... if they leave sooner because of that, the better off you will be.

 

[Colossus]

Agree with Kailex and Brad---you just have to own it like it's the most normal thing in the world. The fitness/health response is pretty much ironclad.

I also don't really drink---maybe 1-2 beers a month at social gatherings. Never at home. I slowed down to almost nothing towards the end of my dating and told a few girls it 'wasnt my thing', but that led to awkward moments. In retrospect I would use the health/fitness response. Then you don't come across as socially awkward, just healthy.

 

[Poop1337]

I rarely drink even at bars. I don't find it to be a problem. I also meet a lot of girls who don't drink. Seems like a lot of people are just not drinking these days.

 

[Yo'Mama]

My bigger question is, how the hell do you handle dates sober, lol? I think I started drinking just to get through dull dates.

 

[Alvafe]

things I can see here, maybe they can think you are a alcoholic so they could be scared (you know with all that drunk beating his woman), you lack confidence when you say it as your choice.

if you want to dodge you could say oh I don't drink because i'm driving, or I don't drink because that is bad for my workout routine, or you just say I don't like the taste of alcohol,
she could also feel strange because you don't have anything on hands if is a club night or something try a energetic.

My bigger question is, how the hell do you handle dates sober, lol? I think I started drinking just to get through dull dates.

hey think on bright side if the date is that dull he will cut it short earlier and stop wasting time on it

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear KC,
Pleased to hear you gave up the booze...I have drunk pretty heavily for over fifty years,no problems,but I have buried many School Mates who were victims of the grog....These Days In Australia,if you drive these days, with only a couple of beers in you you end up with a CRIMINAL offense against your name,police are everywhere...Drunk Driving carries the same penalties as apply to Man Slaughter...I don't need an excuse I am a Dancer,you can't do intricate dance steps with a gut full of Alcohol!

 

[Jitterbug]

I tell them I have training the next day / morning.

Never encountered any issue.

It's often a good way to talk fitness & health which I'm passionate about and they find fascinating.

 

[compleks]

I haven't had a drink for nearly 10 years. Initially I stopped for health reasons and competition preparation. Now it's just a lifestyle choice.

If I meet a girl when I'm out with mates they tend to notice pretty quickly if you're not drinking, and will generally comment on it. I just tell them I'm driving, which is usually true. I just met them, no need to disclose any more details.

If I see them again it eventually comes out that I don't actually drink, and they will almost always ask why.
My standard response is, "the judge recommended that I stop" with a dead serious look on my face. I do this because the reactions are often priceless.
But I'll break into a cheeky smile pretty quickly and they realise I'm just messing with them.
Sometimes I tell them why, sometimes I don't.

Anyway, I've had very positive reactions to be honest. I find that people generally respect the fact that I don't drink and often tell me they wish they could do the same.
I've even had dates in bars where she has ordered a drink and I just order a juice or something. Makes them a little uncomfortable at first, but it generally works in my favour.