dating non-american girls and cultural differences, etc.

[crackhead]

I went out with this japanese girl (been in america for 10 years or so) last night for the first time. I played it pretty cool and overall the date seemed pretty positive. But I pretty much did most of the talking. I did a pretty good job of asking her questions and keeping the focus off of me, but she didn't respond with the typical reciprocal questions about me or whatever. So basically whenever I wasn't initiating something, the convo kinda fell off, (not that it was necessarily akward though).

And I've also never experienced dating a girl who's first language isn't English. It's kinda weird. Like, most uses of sarcasm and other conversational and body language subtelties that a girl from your country/culture easily picks up on go completely past her. Some things I could take the time to explain to her, but some things cannot be explained, ya know? Not to mention I speak with a lot of slang on top of it.

So I'm not sure how to play the next date. I guess I shouldn't treat her too differently and apply most of the usual princibles, and the answer (or one of them) is probably seeing how she responds to kino. I'm still tryin to work that into my game and having a difficult time doing it in out of the blue type situations if that makes sense.

But it's tough to read girls sometimes anyway, much less when they speak english as a 2nd language and she's pretty shy on top of that. BUT she IS 5 years older than me (32, 27) and you would therefore think pretty experienced sexually.

I guess on paper I should just go out a couple more times and then afterwards take her back to my apt and put a move on her, but the question is has anyone in here been in this same situation have any advice??

 

[suavedave]

good for you!

I've been in a kind of similar situation, e.g. dating girls whose first language is not English. Just remain confident and keep your cool... allow things to progress. We await future developments!

 

[crackhead]

bump

 

[chlywly]

Her not responding has little to do with her different ethnic upraising and more to do with her personality. She's either shy, closed up, or simply boring I was dating a chic like that recently, I was usually holding the conversaion; we were both having a great time but unless I had things to say bring up and ask she was fairly quite... That got old fast.

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

My biggest problem is this..


If somebody has been in the USA for over 10 years and they still can't speak english, thats a freaking problem. Either learn the language or go back to their own country.

I'm tired of going to restaurants and not being able to understand waiters or waitresses.

I'm tired of having cable guys come to my door and i can't understand a word they say.

BUt when you give them one dollar short, they sure as hell speka english pretty damn well

 

[b's nuts]

Originally posted by elvis aint dead yet
If somebody has been in the USA for over 10 years and they still can't speak english, thats a freaking problem. Either learn the language or go back to their own country.

So if someone hasn't been here 10 years their cool then right? How is it you determine how long someone has been here, so you can get pissed off when they are hooking up your cable?

Stop being white trash and try to learn and enjoy cultures other than FAT WHITE TRASH.

If you can get that upset about a language barrier, how mad are you going to get when I call you a BIGGOT?

 

[crackhead]

Yea, she's pretty much kinda not that fun to be with I guess. She's shy and quiet. It's not that she doesn't speak english at all, but not like a first language so all kinds of stuff goes past her.

She's damn cute though

 

[jakethasnake]

Dude, if you want out-going and fun girlfriend, you COULD NOT HAVE MADE A WORSE CHOICE as far as culture is concerened. The Japanese are a nation of two-dimensional card-board cutouts. I am saying this as an Asian person. They have no fire or temper like the Koreans, nor the elitism and pride of the Chinese. They are much too agreeable and compliant - and thus BORING as ****. It's a known fact that you couldn't get into a fight with a Japanese from Japan if you tried. They will automaticall diffuse the situation and agree with you, even if you were being a moron. Their culture makes them conditioned to be as subservient and unconfrontational as possible.


I think this explains why so many white guys like Japan and Japanese girls so much. They actually feel better about themselves because there is no direct confrontation or competition for and even FROM women, unlike in the West.

I'm sure that I'm not the only one that has noticed this, but most white guys that date Asian girls and especially Japanese girls are kinda wimpy and insecure, and overall not as physically imposing as white guys that go mainly for white/black/Latinas. Not all, but the great majoriy.

Now I'm sure there will be certain people here who'll be up in arms protesting that they "are dating a Japanese girl, but are also very strong, handsome, aggressive, etc. etc.". I think that's just their reactive egoes talking. Most are bookish, introverted, and awkward around women. It's true - face it. It's like a match made in heaven - insecure guy (who happens to be white most of the time) who can't handle white/western woman meets docile geisha girl from Japan to be his obedient-but-boring-as-hell girlfriend/wife.


....and they lived happily every after.

 

[crackhead]

dude, jakethasnake, you absolutely hit it on the head man, you could not be more right

all I do with this girl is watch tv and have sex

I went out to eat with her twice and it could not have been more boring. so, i just don't even bother! if I'm hungry, we just get take out! haha

the communication/cultural barrier is huge.. alot of the time, she doesn't even understand what I'm saying.. and I have not had one interesting or stimulating conversation with her where it wasn't me trying to explain something slowly and doing all the talking

she's 32 and I'm 27, yet it feels like she's the kid sort of

she doesn't drink really, and the few times friends have stopped by when she's been over, she doesn't say a word

get this, on the weekend, I'l hang out with her til about 9, then drop her off to go out drinking! and she's completely aware of it!

it's ridiculous

i can practically do whatever i want... she could come over, and i can sit around for a while and then just start kissing her when I decide to, then take her into my room and fvck her.. or i could just take her clothes off immediately.. it really doesn't matter!

i feel bad in a way, and hope she doesn't get too attached, but I can't see this going on forever

sex is always good, but there is no passion or emotional connection whatsoever.. she's boring to hang out with, so naturally the second after I nut, I'm ready to smoke a bowl or watch sports or something.. rather than 'cuddle' or continue making out

but one great thing sex does for AFC's or really any guy who thinks about sex alot and beats himself up for not scoring much is that it gives you a profound sense of clarity..

like "i'm getting so worked up and depressed over this?"

really puts things in perspective...

and eases you up and builds confidence... i can't see getting very nervous around girls right now, unless I was high or tired or something, and I'm capable of being very very very timid and shy around girls

it's crazy though.. like she just called and was like 'do you still want me to come over' ok

there's no spice in her personality.. it's like i'm eating saltines...but she does dress hip which I like

i think tonight i'm going to get a little more kinky with her than i have previously

why not?

muhuhahaahahaww

 

[jakethasnake]

Originally posted by crackhead
but she does dress hip which I like

That's just the Japanese attempting to appear more interesting than they really are. I am NOT kidding.

That's the weird thing about Japan. In the streets of Tokyo you'll see people wear mohawks or funky or very distinctive/interesting outfits, but when you find out that they're office clerks or something and lead pretty mundane lives.


In Japan it's actually considered 'cool' to date 'gajin' which means foreign/white person. It's the hip thing to do - most Jap boys and girls give it a whirl when they go abroad. She most likely isn't serious about you either, don't worry.

 

[jakethasnake]

oh ya... you say she's 32 but 'acts like a kid'.


That's called being "kawaii" in Japanese - it means 'cute'. A better approximation would be "adorable, with a dash of feminine submissiveness".


It manifests itself in many interesting ways:

- Like looking at you with head tilted down and eyes peering through her eyelashes, eyes opened as wide as possible to look like a young girl.

- Laughing quietly like a mouse with her hand covering her mouth.

- Never walking, but shuffling her feet in tiny baby steps while draggin' her shoes on the ground.... you can hear her coming from miles away.

- Speaking in a TINY, squeaky voice, and squealing like a little girl when pleased.

- And speaking of squealing... have you HEARD her when you're having sex?? LOL!!! You know EXACTLY what I'm talking about... you've fvcked her already. Doesn't she sound like a fvcking mouse in pain?



I know all this coz I've tried those Jap bytches before. All of em.. they're the same. Like factory produced zombies. I think they're only good for guys with no self-esteem and a huge masculinity complex (not saying that's you, necessarily, but who knows...). They are perfect for men who need to be in control ALL THE TIME. That is NOT for me. I want a woman. A REAL one.

 

[WatchMeWalk]

I was about to start a thread asking for insight into Asian girls. There's a Chinese HB9 in my film class who I consider to be very classy and independant, not the docile fukk-rag type that Jake described. She's very friendly with me, but it's hard to talk to her in a casual context because she is always involved with her film crew (one of which is an obese AFC who is usually hovering around her) or extracuricular activity (she's treasurer of the film club).
I've hung out with her crew and it is easy to make her laugh, but I can never get her isolated to close. Plus, I feel like I'm in danger of trying too hard and coming off as clingy. I just don't know how to get the ball rolling here.

And BTW, it's common knowledge that Western women are conceited primadonnas with unrealistic expectations from men so don't trash those who prefer foriegn girls.

 

[jakethasnake]

Originally posted by WatchMeWalk
I was about to start a thread asking for insight into Asian girls. There's a Chinese HB9 in my film class who I consider to be very classy and independant, not the docile fukk-rag type that Jake described. She's very friendly with me, but it's hard to talk to her in a casual context because she is always involved with her film crew (one of which is an obese AFC who is usually hovering around her) or extracuricular activity (she's treasurer of the film club).
I've hung out with her crew and it is easy to make her laugh, but I can never get her isolated to close. Plus, I feel like I'm in danger of trying too hard and coming off as clingy. I just don't know how to get the ball rolling here.

And BTW, it's common knowledge that Western women are conceited primadonnas with unrealistic expectations from men so don't trash those who prefer foriegn girls.

As for that Chinese girl, keep at it. You'll get a chance.


And about your last comment. It's generally true. I'm not simply talking trash, I'm just saying it without candy-coating it. That's all.

 

[ShortyBrown]

And BTW, it's common knowledge that Western women are conceited primadonnas with unrealistic expectations from men so don't trash those who prefer foriegn girls.

And about your last comment. It's generally true. I'm not simply talking trash, I'm just saying it without candy-coating it. That's all.

True of American women. Get out and broaden your perspective.

 

[Julian]

Have you seen japanese porno? THOSE CHICKS ARE NASTY AND CRAZY.

You get the idea.

 

[killerasp]

Originally posted by jakethasnake
I am saying this as an Asian person.

WTF?? JAKE, YOU ARE ASIAN!?!?!?!??! AND HOW THE HELL DO YOU HAVE A 9" wang?

 

[jakethasnake]

Originally posted by killerasp
WTF?? JAKE, YOU ARE ASIAN!?!?!?!??! AND HOW THE HELL DO YOU HAVE A 9" wang?

Hmmm..... I never said I did. You're rilly funny mang... FYI I have a standard 6 inch pea shooter.


But keep spreading the word, it may give me some good PR.

 

[Austin Allegro]

This is all so true! Especially the stuff about wimpy guys going for asian (called 'oriental' here in the UK) girls.

Apparently also in Japan it's easy for a fairly ugly white man to hook up with a hot Japanese woman because of the fashion for dating foreigners.

My neighbour teaches English to foreign students and he has a never ending stream of Japanese/Chinese/Korean girlfiends but he says exactly the same thing: that he gets bored with them pretty easily.

Does this mean all oriental girls are 'afc'? lol!

 

[crackhead]

yea, you're right about the cute part too... she says stuff is cute all the time

but yo, while I will say that I am moreso the creative/artsy/weird/unconventional type vs. the brauny/meathead/weightlifter, this does not make me any less of a man and it wouldn't be accurate to say that insecure or whimpy are standout or dominant personality traits of mine

It's not as if I'm so in fear of "real" woman and so happy to be getting some that I want to be in an exclusive serious relationship with her or "live happily ever after" as you say... she's too boring and quiet.. this just whets my appetite and increases confidence in finding a girl with the full package

it's nice to be gettin some pvssy though.. last night I was kinda on some caveman pleasure me type sh1t

honestly.. sex is like therapy for AFC's

 

[jakethasnake]

Good for you, crakhead. I'm glad that you're getting what you need.


And Austin, I do think that East Asians are AFC... but only those who still live or have never left the far East. The worldwide diaspora, esp. the ones who have lived in the West for years, are different. Take me for example. I wouldn't sit there and take a girl or anyone who tried to take advantage of me.