Dating newbie needs advices

[Kingpaw]

Hello, Guys!

I've been dated a couple of times and it never worked.

either i was a lil desperate or I lost interest. And last date I got her phone number we text wayy too much and i trapped in her friendzone..I thought if two ppl really likes each other, text a lot is no big deal, I was so wrong.

So, i met this new girl, who just moved from another place. I know her online and got her number, she seems like really nice girl (Girlfriend material).

we texted a lot (My mistake) when i got her number, and she respond pretty quick. and we had our first date hang out and she seems interested and we watched a movie. i acted really cool at first date cuz i was shy, and at the end of the date she asked me wanna hang again? i said ya. she showed interest in our first date.

after the movie, when i got into my car text her drive safe and i had fun. that's it that night.

and the day after, i was expecting her text, but nothing, so i texted her first, and she replied and we chit chat a lil bit but i was trying to not text a lot.and we set up gonna meet up again this weekend.

and I really like this girl and i do not wanna screw it up by ignoring her too much nor being too clingy.

this morning, he texted me "good morning." I waited one hour reply a cute puppy pic with morning on it. and she replied in 30mins said that's really cute. I did not reply.

and after 1 hour she texted, how's ur day. I waited 2 hours to reply said:"Crazy busy, how about u?" she replied and i didnot reply.

and it's really hard to ignore texts from someone you really like LOL.. but from my experiences, being too available always make me end in friendzone. so this time i wanna give "ignoring" a try. Hate playing games but :/..

So Should i keep "less is more" till we meet up again? I'm worried she will think i'm not interested and started talking to other guys online and go on a date you know..she's current stay at home with a lot time and job hunting.

any advices?? I am just 20 and pretty new to date thing.

and its only monday we cant hang till weekend. how can i keep momentum without texting a lot??

Thanks guys!

Update#1: It worked... I replied her text really slow. and never be the last one texted back. and she always text me first.

Now she wanna meet up tonite for dinner should I say no and keep the original plan, second date this saturday?
Update #2: So, I rejected her yesterday for dinner. and rescheduled a date tomorrow night. she seems happy about it and said happy a nice day at work.

and no more text yesterday. Today I text her the date place, time and that's it. it's been a hour she did not reply yet..did i played too hard to get and she lost interest..cuz she just moved here, she didnot start work yet and she always text back in minutes.

now i just keep myself busy and not to worry:nervous:

and she is still on that online dating site every midnight take a look and log off..LOL i just know it. and i was on it at 6pm last night and im pretty sure she knows that. and i wanna her know that im still seeing other ppl..

Well. she took a hour to reply and said yes sounds good..LOL I know I am still pretty beta haha..easy to get nervous, worried and clingy..

 

[ZTIME]

Hello, Guys!

I've been dated a couple of times and it never worked.

either i was a lil desperate or I lost interest. And last date I got her phone number we text wayy too much and i trapped in her friendzone..I thought if two ppl really likes each other, text a lot is no big deal, I was so wrong.

So, i met this new girl, who just moved from another place. I know her online and got her number, she seems like really nice girl (Girlfriend material).

we texted a lot (My mistake) when i got her number, and she respond pretty quick. and we had our first date hang out and she seems interested and we watched a movie. i acted really cool at first date cuz i was shy, and at the end of the date she asked me wanna hang again? i said ya. she showed interest in our first date.

after the movie, when i got into my car text her drive safe and i had fun. that's it that night.

and the day after, i was expecting her text, but nothing, so i texted her first, and she replied and we chit chat a lil bit but i was trying to not text a lot.and we set up gonna meet up again this weekend.

and I really like this girl and i do not wanna screw it up by ignoring her too much nor being too clingy.

this morning, he texted me "good morning." I waited one hour reply a cute puppy pic with morning on it. and she replied in 30mins said that's really cute. I did not reply.

and after 1 hour she texted, how's ur day. I waited 2 hours to reply said:"Crazy busy, how about u?" she replied and i didnot reply.

and it's really hard to ignore texts from someone you really like LOL.. but from my experiences, being too available always make me end in friendzone. so this time i wanna give "ignoring" a try. Hate playing games but :/..

So Should i keep "less is more" till we meet up again? I'm worried she will think i'm not interested and started talking to other guys online and go on a date you know..she's current stay at home with a lot time and job hunting.

any advices?? I am just 20 and pretty new to date thing.

and its only monday we cant hang till weekend. how can i keep momentum without texting a lot??

Thanks guys!

Is this the "lonewolflegend"? Just checking.

 

[Kingpaw]

Is this the "lonewolflegend"? Just checking.

Nope.

 

[VladPatton]

A few things first:

-Keep your fist few dates short, about 2 hrs. This is your time to see what she's made of. Don't ever say she's girlfriend material until you know her better. She can end up being a bıtch after the 3nd date. While on the date, be fun, stop caring so much. Grab her, touch her, joke around a lot, never serious, and be unafraid of her. If she likes it you're in, if not, she's not for you.

-Don't be afraid to loose the girl. There is nothing you can do about this and it can always happen, even after 10 years of marriage.

-Play the game(s). If you don't play you won't even be considered, so you have to play to win, if not, don't bother dating chicks. I can speak with high certainty from experience. The guys who sit on the benches don't get the trophies.

-Stop texting more than 2 times a day or so. Too much chit chat, makes you seem like all you do is think of her and have nothing better to do. Yeah, we all like girls when they like us, but you have to control yourself. Text to set up dates, and that's it. If she thinks you're banging other girls, even better.

-If she already put you in the friend zone, it's time to move on. It's not worth trying to recover. Plenty of girls out there.

Keep it simple, don't try too hard, and be willing to walk away. You cannot be afraid of that, or control another person's like. If she likes you, fine, if not, adios.


Hope this helps, Good luck.

 

[Kingpaw]

A few things first:

-Keep your fist few dates short, about 2 hrs. This is your time to see what she's made of. Don't ever say she's girlfriend material until you know her better. She can end up being a bıtch after the 3nd date. While on the date, be fun, stop caring so much. Grab her, touch her, joke around a lot, never serious, and be unafraid of her. If she likes it you're in, if not, she's not for you.

-Don't be afraid to loose the girl. There is nothing you can do about this and it can always happen, even after 10 years of marriage.

-Play the game(s). If you don't play you won't even be considered, so you have to play to win, if not, don't bother dating chicks. I can speak with high certainty from experience. The guys who sit on the benches don't get the trophies.

-Stop texting more than 2 times a day or so. Too much chit chat, makes you seem like all you do is think of her and have nothing better to do. Yeah, we all like girls when they like us, but you have to control yourself. Text to set up dates, and that's it. If she thinks you're banging other girls, even better.

-If she already put you in the friend zone, it's time to move on. It's not worth trying to recover. Plenty of girls out there.

Keep it simple, don't try too hard, and be willing to walk away. You cannot be afraid of that, or control another person's like. If she likes you, fine, if not, adios.


Hope this helps, Good luck.

Thanks so much!!! i will control myself ignore her a lil. cuz I always end up in friendzone LOL.

 

[Kingpaw]

Update: It worked... I replied her text really slow. and never be the last one texted back. and she always text me first.

Now she wanna meet up tonite for dinner should I say no and keep the original plan, second date this saturday?

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Kudos on the first date and being slow to text! In an ideal scenario, though, you wouldn't be texting her much at all during the week. The best way to manage this is to let HER be the one to text YOU first, and always find an excuse to have to stop texting her after 3 or 4 messages - "Hey, I'm about to drive someplace and run errands, great hearing from u though!" You want to save as much conversation as you can for when you see her in person.

In answer to your new question: for new girls, I make it a point not to accept any "last minute" dates. The reason is because (a) I want to build up anticipation for the date we've already scheduled, (b) I need for her to get used to hearing the word "no" from time to time, (c) I want her to feel like I have a busy life, and therefore won't (and can't) be at her beck-and-call anytime she decides she wants to see me. A woman will have more respect for you if you help her to understand that she needs to schedule time to see you in advance. Furthermore, the earlier you do this, the more used to it she will become; if you wait until month 6 to tell her one day that you can't make it when she calls you up last minute to do something, she's going to throw a fit because she's never heard you turn her down.

So, if this were me and I got the last minute invite, I'd say something like, "Oh man, I'd like to, but I've already made plans with friends this evening. But hey, let me know in advance next time so we can definitely link up." After two or three times of you doing this, she will be more likely to hit you up at least a day in advance of wanting to see you. (Note: the only exception to this rule is if she found out about something last minute that sounds REALLY exciting. A favorite band of yours suddenly comes to town and she got last minute tickets? GO. Her wanting to just see you for dinner? REJECT.)

Hope this helps!

 

[Kingpaw]

Thanks!!! I rejected her n I really have something to do .. I used to give up my stuff to come out with my crush.. Always end up bad. I'm going thru DJ bible now. And now she's the one always text first now. Just hope my second date a success. From bible: eye contact smile humor. Confident. Don't be so serious

 

[Atom Smasher]

Good advice in this thread, and it seems that Kingpaw is very serious in his intent to handle business the right way.

Kingpaw, I'll offer you a bit of advice. You're on the right track about not being too serious. Give a vague impression that you're not easily had and that you're qualifying her, seeing if she's Kp material or not.

Go out with the intent to have fun. I always try to be the source of fun for myself and for the people in my sphere. Not to clown or impress, but rather it's a matter of intent, of attitude. A man who is the obvious source of good vibes & fun is very attractive to women.

As you're already learning, you want to create the image of a man who is busy, who has a life, and who might let her in as part of that life if she qualifies. It was good to refuse the "pop" date. You want to convey the fact that you have a full schedule and are not just sitting around waiting for things to happen.

Puppy dog texts are a HUGE no-no. In fact that's a bannable offense here at SS. Just kidding about that, but it is very counterproductive to that which you want to convey to a woman. Texting is a very dangerous game. It makes you common and accessible, just like her girlfriends. You need to be a mystery, keep her wondering about where you are and what you're doing. A man needs to rapidly flip the script of the chase and create a dynamic where she is working for his attention.

Notice that most tips involve what to do and what not to do in your absence. This is because a woman falls in love with a man in his absence. You plant seeds of desire into her when you see her, and her little brain hamster runs like mad in your absence while she convinces herself why you're such a great catch.

The common and easily attained is soon scorned, even if embraced at first. The rare and mysterious cannot generate boredom nor over-familiarity. It's a man's job to find the delicate balance of attention vs. neglect.

All the tips on this forum are only training wheels, general guidelines that must be calibrated to fit your personality and the chemistry of your relationships. They're usually stated bluntly and strongly so as to be understandable and defined, but each man must nuance them to his advantage.

 

[Kingpaw]

Update~

So, I rejected her yesterday for dinner. and rescheduled a date tomorrow night. she seems happy about it and said happy a nice day at work.

and no more text yesterday. Today I text her the date place, time and that's it. it's been a hour she did not reply yet..did i played too hard to get and she lost interest..cuz she just moved here, she didnot start work yet and she always text back in minutes.

now i just keep myself busy and not to worry:nervous:

and she is still on that online dating site every midnight take a look and log off..LOL i just know it. and i was on it at 6pm last night and im pretty sure she knows that. and i wanna her know that im still seeing other ppl..