Dating life in new city, during COVID

[coyote_astro]

So here I am, recently moved to a new city (in the US) and started a new great job, about which I'm excited!
After finding a new apartment, I joined a new gym, and life is good...BUT, I'm in a new place, and have to join/start new social circles in the middle of this whole pandemic shyte..

I only know one 1 guy in the area, friend of a friend, who's a cool dude fortunately, but seems to be more hesitant of dating due to COVID. Going out with him is a start, but not good enough. I also met a couple of his friends, who are in a similar place.
It's so frustrating walking outside, seeing groups of young people/girls and not being part of it. I am x3 more hesitant to do cold approaches, due to the situation.
I've kinda lost my social momentum in the past few months, and my 'inner chode' is using the pandemic as an excuse for not talking to strangers. Time to change this. I am doing OLD, but I've never been a big fan of it, as most of you here, and prefer actually talking to people.

Any tips based on your personal experience? To give some more info, I work at a big university, so plenty of young girls in the area, but everything is online, so no events that can connect me with new people (physically).

 

[Trojan3000]

Honestly why make it harder on yourself snd talk to complete strangers when you clearly have approach anxiety? I mean its good to practice cold approach but a fundamental rule is most people don't care for strangers and will eliminate you in their mind before you can even try anything unless you're a tall handsome devil. Especially during covid. Can't even use kino on women rn in ca settings.

You need to find events or places that are more sociable. Get togethers, bonfires, parties, . Yes people still have these and usually amongst close friends. All it takes is one invite or one friend to introduce you to a group. Goin up to chicks in the street isnt where its at right now. Though you still should just to work on your approach anxiety.

 

[coyote_astro]

You are not wrong in that it's not the best time for doing CA, quite the opposite.
I guess I thought that way because I felt this is a way for me to be proactive and not rely on social circles etc, but it's also harder these days.

I will definitely focus more on penetrating social circles; I also recently met the girl that lives next door (not hot, has a boyfriend, but seems to know a lot of people in the area)

Either way, thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts!

 

[SW15]

No OLD. Anything you do offline is better.

Lack of organized group events is going to make it more difficult to do approaches. I don't think you're going to do much in the way of social circle building for a while.

I would do gym approaches and other non-bar approaches. Grocery store is tough with the masks, but not impossible. I did an approach on an airplane during a pandemic, and that was somewhat improbable.

 

[coyote_astro]

No OLD. Anything you do offline is better.

Lack of organized group events is going to make it more difficult to do approaches. I don't think you're going to do much in the way of social circle building for a while.

I would do gym approaches and other non-bar approaches. Grocery store is tough with the masks, but not impossible. I did an approach on an airplane during a pandemic, and that was somewhat improbable.

Thanks man I totally agree about OLD! Even there though, traffic is much higher compared to the small collegetown I moved from, but it's still OLD...there might be a few 7s that are actually worth it, but I don't wanna rely on it.

Now that you mentioned the gym, there's this cute girl that keeps giving me eye contact lately. Gym game is not my thing, but why not...better than OLD

What do you think about outdoor bars and dining? Lots of people go to these (including myself), while the weather still allows it, but all places have these rules about social distancing..

 

[SW15]

Thanks man I totally agree about OLD! Even there though, traffic is much higher compared to the small collegetown I moved from, but it's still OLD...there might be a few 7s that are actually worth it, but I don't wanna rely on it.

Now that you mentioned the gym, there's this cute girl that keeps giving me eye contact lately. Gym game is not my thing, but why not...better than OLD

What do you think about outdoor bars and dining? Lots of people go to these (including myself), while the weather still allows it, but all places have these rules about social distancing..

Swipe apps are actually worse in larger metro areas than they are in smaller towns. In the larger metro areas (roughly 500,000+), female hypergamy is unchecked. I graduated college just over 15 years ago. In that time, I have lived in 2 Top 15 U.S. metro areas. These are ultra competitive markets with rampant female hypergamic tendencies. The women in both of these metro areas have been known to be quite demanding. I don't recommend swipe apps in geographies of any size, but if one were to actually use them, it'd be in the midsize markets where the women are not as demanding. However, even in midsized markets, there are way better options than swipe apps. That's true even in the time of Coronavirus.

I'm 37 now. Around age 30, I made a shift in meeting people. I focused more upon the nonbar venues (gyms, fitness classes, grocery stores, etc.) compared to bars. Now that a lot of bars are closed due to the Rona, that doesn't hurt me as much for approaching. However, a lack of bars has impacted my overall process.

Even when meeting women in nonbar venues initially, bars were usually places I hosted early stage dates. Additionally, a lot of social groups did their mass gatherings in bars, so that's impactful as well.

Outdoor bars could be an option, depending upon your comfort level with possible Rona exposure. I could see that as being a viable means of approach. Outdoor dining usually isn't a way to meet women initially. It's way easier to approach women when you are standing up and they are standing up. Dining is often done in groups, so women are distracted by others at the dining table. Additionally, dinner dates in restaurants in the early stages of dating have been considered a big Manosphere no-no for a very long time. However, in the era of Rona, some men might be doing more dinner dates in restaurants earlier on because of a lack of other options.

The Rona has made forming new romantic interactions much more difficult.

 

[user252009]

I have a similar situation. Approach anxiety, but on top of that I live in a country where I'm not fluent in the language. Tips?

 

[Solomon]

I don't see the point of cold approaching unless you live in a area where everything is open i.e. Florida

Even though I had online dating, I put in minimal effort, just my thoughts

 

[coyote_astro]

Swipe apps are actually worse in larger metro areas than they are in smaller towns. In the larger metro areas (roughly 500,000+), female hypergamy is unchecked. I graduated college just over 15 years ago. In that time, I have lived in 2 Top 15 U.S. metro areas. These are ultra competitive markets with rampant female hypergamic tendencies. The women in both of these metro areas have been known to be quite demanding. I don't recommend swipe apps in geographies of any size, but if one were to actually use them, it'd be in the midsize markets where the women are not as demanding. However, even in midsized markets, there are way better options than swipe apps. That's true even in the time of Coronavirus.

I'm 37 now. Around age 30, I made a shift in meeting people. I focused more upon the nonbar venues (gyms, fitness classes, grocery stores, etc.) compared to bars. Now that a lot of bars are closed due to the Rona, that doesn't hurt me as much for approaching. However, a lack of bars has impacted my overall process.

Even when meeting women in nonbar venues initially, bars were usually places I hosted early stage dates. Additionally, a lot of social groups did their mass gatherings in bars, so that's impactful as well.

Outdoor bars could be an option, depending upon your comfort level with possible Rona exposure. I could see that as being a viable means of approach. Outdoor dining usually isn't a way to meet women initially. It's way easier to approach women when you are standing up and they are standing up. Dining is often done in groups, so women are distracted by others at the dining table. Additionally, dinner dates in restaurants in the early stages of dating have been considered a big Manosphere no-no for a very long time. However, in the era of Rona, some men might be doing more dinner dates in restaurants earlier on because of a lack of other options.

The Rona has made forming new romantic interactions much more difficult.

I totally get why OLD is probably worse in large metro areas. I mostly use it as a necessary temporary evil nowadays. Actually right before COVID I had just deleted Tinder & Bumble (talk about wrong timing..), but then eventually got forced to get back.

Having said that, it seems to be working 'better' here, because the collegetown I moved from was empty due to classes moving online. So it's a special circumstance, but I see your general point.

I go to the gym consistently so should probably try to meet some girls there.

COVID is making everything harder, but I refuse to get into a victim mindset. i want to do my best given the circumstances.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

 

[coyote_astro]

I don't see the point of cold approaching unless you live in a area where everything is open i.e. Florida

Even though I had online dating, I put in minimal effort, just my thoughts

While the weather is still good here (not Florida) it's doable in principle. But things will change in a month or so.
It is what it is, I have to adapt.