Dating is destroying my confidence!!!

[Robert28]

this is more of a rant then seeking advice because frankly, i don't know what my problem is to ask help for! i've been on 4 dates the past couple of weeks, 2 were girls i'd met in person and 2 were girls from online. all 4 ended up the same way. we'll talk on the phone, hit it off great, go out have a good time(seemingly anyways) they go to leave and THEY INITIATE THE KISS, all 4 girls have done this. then guess what? you never hear from them again, or they suddenly lose interest and become distant, they tell you they arent looking for a relationship right now, the list goes on and on. ok, so why the kiss? why go on a date with me? why act like theyre all into me and then after the date, are totally uninterested? its not like im farting at the table, talking about stupid stuff or anything like that. ive thought about this long and hard and for the life of me cant put my finger on what im doing or not doing wrong. this one girl i hadnt heard from in forever since we went out then today sends me some random ass text saying sorry shes been out of touch but shes been sick and seeing other people because she doesnt know what she wants. umm ok, i told her to have fun with that. i mean really, getting a first date is hard enough but getting a second is like winning the lottery twice in a row it seems.haha this is slowly giving me the mind set of dreading first dates because i know i wont get a second one. and God forbid you mention a girl looks hot in heels too because if you do youre all of a sudden weird and have a shoe fetish. wtf? watch commercials dumbass, everything thats trying to appease to men has a sexy woman in heels with legs up to her neck, but yet thinking thats hot is weird? this has just been a crappy past few weeks in my dating life.

 

[kingy]

internet girls are mostly low self esteem. they just want to feel loved. did u even kiss them back? regardless you probably werent showing them enough attention and affection, u playing it too cool man and then they feel bad cos they got all dressed up, probably talked about this date with their friends for ages, played with their hair and made moves all night and you just rejected them. When they get home they wonder why no one loves them, eats a chocolate cake and then associates you to someone that causes them pain.

that not bothered game will work on a high self-esteem 9 or 10.

perhaps time to get out there for real?

 

[Mike32ct]

I have the same problem. Maybe one in twenty of my first dates lead to a second date. Online dating is notorious for that. It's deceiving because women love to talk. They'll talk with you for two hours on the date, laugh and have a good time and then never return calls after that.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

It's all in your mind.

 

[Jitterbug]

The girls initiated the kiss huh?

Well there you go, that's your answer.

Some wacky single girls expect the first kiss to be "magical" and allow them to feel instant chemistry with the man. How they feel is rooted in the fantasy world, but to make them feel that way, a man has to lead and not let them lead. Else you're both upsetting the Natural Order of Things (men lead, women follow) and neither is completely satisfied. Since women have a bigger stake in this game, they will pull out first.

Your girls would likely be dating other guys at the same time, and at least one of them is better than you.

Chin up, it's only 4 girls. Big whoop. Seriously a lot of guys around here have not failed enough. They screwed up with a handful of chicks and acted like nothing works & it's the end of the world.