"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Dating in early 40's

Blackmm

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Since the 30's issue seems to be more addressed here, I thought I would open a dialog about things to expect when reaching your 40s and still out there dating. A little about myself, I'm 42, never been married and have no children. I'm financially comfortable, have my own home and good career and in reasonably good shape. That being said, I will cut to the chase.

- When you are in your 40s. you are in that predicament where you are too old to rob the cradle but not quite old enough to rob the grave. Women my age and older who are still single often don't have the best looks and bodies. I don't want to look like I'm out with my mother or aunt as I take pretty good of myself and as a result still look like I'm in my late 20s or early 30s.

- I can still pull chicks in their 20's but at my age I have to look out for the ones who are looking for "sugar daddies". These are easy to spot because they usually didn't have a strong father presence when growing up and are looking for someone to fill that gap.

- If I could give everyone my age any advice, it would be to get a gym membership and consider keeping it for life. Long gone are the days of binging on burgers and not expecting to see it on your waste line. Also see your doctor for regular check ups. You WILL start having strange age related things happen to you. Also while we are at it, start using that dental insurance and keep your grill in check.

If anyone else has any 40s advice, feel free to add to this thread.

BTW, my pic. Its not the most g'd up pose, but I wanted to use an everyday casual pic as an example.

http://i43.tinypic.com/19v3gk.jpg
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Blackmm

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MikeBrown30 said:
You still look relatively young man. Are you looking for anything in particular? LTR? FB? Eventual marriage? Or just bang?
Eventually I would like to settle down but wouldn't mind having some fun along the way. At my age, I find myself a lot more picky in the females I deal with. I let a lot of stuff slide with chicks when I was in my 20s that I wouldn't even consider dealing with now.
 

zekko

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I really didn't notice much difference between my 30s and 40s, physically, for dating options, or otherwise. I wouldn't change my approach at all. Just keep trying to improve.
 

ilikecharlene

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Most women have children at that age, so in some respect (even if they are grown/university age) you have to have some presence in their life. You're dating their mother, but you in a sense would be a father figure. This would be more so, to some extent perhaps, if one's SO is divorced/separated (and certainly if widowed).
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Burroughs

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ANy man in his 40s who has maintained his fitness, some wealth, a bit of status should still be able to get mid to late 20s chicks easily...

Bear in mind that if you're financially stable thats a HUGE deal nowadays...kids from harvard are struggling to get 40K jobs, the world economy is sh!t and its getting worse. people just getting out of college are literally fvcked..they are not going to see daylight for 10 years...I know thats my generation.

the older man in his 40s with some $$ should be able to pull hella chicks 15 years younger EASY...

You'll see as the years go by..My 24-27 year old friends date 45-50 on the regular, thats normal...all because they want to be with a dude that can AFFORD kids....
 

zekko

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Burroughs said:
ANy man in his 40s who has maintained his fitness, some wealth, a bit of status should still be able to get mid to late 20s chicks easily...
Totally agree.

Like I said, it's not much different from being in your 30s.
Some guys freak out when they turn 30 and don't think they can get girls in their 20s anymore. But it's all in their head.
 

MSgt44

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I find myself in the middle of a messy divorce after 23 years of marriage. At 44, I feel like a fish out of water. Getting back in the game is a little daunting after being out for so long, but I look forward to the challenge. I'm serving in the military, so I'm in good physical shape. I have done a lot of reading on this site and feel that it has helped me a lot.
 

oneboy21

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Blackmm said:
- I can still pull chicks in their 20's but at my age I have to look out for the ones who are looking for "sugar daddies". These are easy to spot because they usually didn't have a strong father presence when growing up and are looking for someone to fill that gap.
Can you provide me an example!
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Burroughs

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Blackmm said:
Bwahahaha

none of those three people are NEARLY hot enough to be 'taken care of' no strings attached...you have to be on some jenna haze type sh!t to be a sugar baby.

GG doesn't want her daddy to 'push the issue of sex'..if I was that dude I would never give a ho like GG one red cent unless she took it up the azz for an hour

These old dudes need to straight up deal with an escort agency..lesson to guys, know what you are in it for...if you want to fvck then pay girls to fvck. don't have 'dates'.
 

Knight's Cross

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Turned 41 in 2011, Here's what I see. Lots of single moms, lots of women who overrate their value. It's not a shocker tho. You have to realize that mid to late 30's women have typically had 1 marriage, 1-2 children by this point. In southeastern GA where I'm at most women marry earlier than larger cities like DC, NYC, etc. So they have typically gotten married at 23-26, and divorced early to mid 30's. Some are bitter, some feel you should take over dad duties.
So that's a decision each guy has to make on his own. Would you date a single mom? Not really for me. Which then limits the pool. If you go too young it's almost recognized as self limiting. I have a buddy that fits this perfectly. He's 50, she's 27. Not likely to last more than a 1 year fling. Hey they are good with it, so good for them. Now in my case, if I'm investing time/effort it's got to be something that I see holding a possible future.
On a positive note most single guys at 40 or so have made themselves into something valuable. Career, goals, in shape, traveled. The 30-35 y.o. single paper pushing work woman recognizes this, as well as her own dropping SMV. Put yourself into the social scene and you can do rather well with the ones that have remained single. Just realize that it's a smaller pool than the 20-25 Y.O. crowd.
KC
 

scrouds

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If you can pull younger, I don't know of any reason why you'd want a woman around your age.
 

jhl

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Dood. If your skin looks like that in your pic I see absolutely no reason as to why you won't consistently pull in the 20s. Why are you even considering someone your age??????
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

Naughty Ninja

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I wouldn't mind dating a mid twenties chick if she's mature, no baggage, and going somewhere in life. That's pretty hard to find these days.

I still look young (early thirties) and get told it on a regular basis.

Chicks near or at my age of 42 really let themselves go. Being single it may be unrealistic to expect but I'm not looking for anyone with kids or divorced. Good luck with that though.
 
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