Dating girl at work but another one wants me

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#1
Dating a co-worker. Going good, not great. Notice another chick at work checking me out. She has a boyfriend and she also knows I am dating this co-worker but she won't stop sending signals. She's even put herself in situations where I can approach her without anybody seeing.

Not gonna lie. I would like to rob the bank if I knew I would get away with it but I've resigned myself to the fact that I have much more to lose than gain. Relationship, job, reputation, etc.

On the days she's not there I can work comfortably but when she's around it drives me crazy. Somedays I wanna walk up to her and get the ball rolling. Other days I wanna find out that she quit or got fired.

Going nuts over here.
 
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#2
As I'm sure you're aware, targeting chicks at work has become even more of DANGEROUS MISSION than it already was. You say that both the girl you're currently dating AND this new women are both "work" chicks.

Let me tell you something that you already know---just for the sake of a reminder:

EXPAND your horizons and broaden your field of vision so that you will begin noticing women in other environments that you're attracted to.

In other words, make it your mission to abandon the sniper approach to finding women and adopt the shotgun approach.


Also, be aware that PROXIMITY can sometimes become a prescription for confinement, a prison---or a "Thirst Trap", if you will. If you are finding that you have fallen prey to limiting your exposure to eligible women to "only" your place of work---know that you have limited yourself FAR TOO MUCH---and you are either setting yourself up for romantic relationship self-sabotage (at best) and/or "approach-laziness" (at worst).

Understand that women are EVERYWHERE. There are so many places that you can find women (other than work) that you would be AMAZED (once you get out there and do some REAL reconnaissance).

From what you've written in your original post, you don't seem to be very enthused, engaged, or excited about the chick you're with right now. And if my assessment is correct, then I would say that it is a very HIGH possibility that you've already "settled" for LESS than what you want in a woman (especially if you're willing to risk it ALL by approaching yet another woman at the SAME place of work).

I would recommend that you start being MORE true to yourself, and eventually true to that woman you're currently with--and begin to REALLY go after the kind of women that you really like. Sure, there will always be women who are more or "less" attractive than any woman that you eventually get with---but I submit to you that you will STILL find that the level of temptation to hook up with random chicks you see from day-to-day will markedly decrease.

And again, by all means---expand your dating pool to beyond your work environment ASAP. Because unless you ARE really happy with the idea of a woman who you're dating (who is also working with you in close-quarters)---then understand that it's usually only a matter of time before the sweetness turns sower, and then that bitter taste may begin permeate not only your love life and your personal life---but your WORK life, as well.

So be wise.

Always think several steps ahead.

And look out for your own best interest AT ALL TIMES (---and that means mentally, emotionally, sexually, AND FINANCIALLY.)

If you successfully accomplish the mission I've outlined for you above:

I guarantee that you'll be THANKING yourself profusely for having done so in the future.


V.U.
 
Last edited:
Joined
Dec 15, 2018
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#3
Thanks. I needed that.

It's not like I went to work "hoping" to land someone but it's become too easy, especially in the line of work I'm in. They just fall into your lap there.

I must admit that since it's so easy at work, I don't see a reason to approach outside of my realm even though I get looks at the grocery store, bar, etc. I now realize what people have been telling me all along, "Don't go fishing off the company pier".

We've been together a few years and it's no longer sweet as you say. If we go to the next level, it's best that one or both of us leaves that place.
 

Spaz

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#4
As I'm sure you're aware, targeting chicks at work has become even more of DANGEROUS MISSION than it already was. You say that both the girl you're currently dating AND this new women are both "work" chicks.

Let me tell you something that you already know---just for the sake of a reminder:

EXPAND your horizons and broaden your field of vision so that you will begin noticing women in other environments that you're attracted to.

In other words, make it your mission to abandon the sniper approach to finding women and adopt the shotgun approach.

Also, be aware that PROXIMITY can sometimes become a prescription for confinement, a prison---or a "Thirst Trap", if you will. If you are finding that you have fallen prey to limiting your exposure to eligible women to "only" your place of work---know that you have limited yourself FAR TOO MUCH---and you are either setting yourself up for romantic relationship self-sabotage (at best) and/or "approach-laziness" (at worst).

Understand that women are EVERYWHERE. There are so many places that you can find women (other than work) that you would be AMAZED (once you get out there and do some REAL reconnaissance).

From what you've written in your original post, you don't seem to be very enthused, engaged, or excited about the chick you're with right now. And if my assessment is correct, then I would say that it is a very HIGH possibility that you've already "settled" for LESS than what you want in a woman (especially if you're willing to risk it ALL by approaching yet another woman at the SAME place of work).

I would recommend that you start being MORE true to yourself, and eventually true to that woman you're currently with--and begin to REALLY go after the kind of women that you really like. Sure, there will always be women who are more or "less" attractive than any woman that you eventually get with---but I submit to you that you will STILL find that the level of temptation to hook up with random chicks you see from day-to-day will markedly decrease.

And again, by all means---expand your dating pool to beyond your work environment ASAP. Because unless you ARE really happy with the idea of a woman who you're dating (who is also working with you in close-quarters)---then understand that it's usually only a matter of time before the sweetness turns sower, and then that bitter taste may begin permeate not only your love life and your personal life---but your WORK life, as well.

So be wise.

Always think several steps ahead.

And look out for your own best interest AT ALL TIMES (---and that means mentally, emotionally, sexually, AND FINANCIALLY.)

If you successfully accomplish the mission I've outlined for you above:

I guarantee that you'll be THANKING yourself profusely for having done so in the future.


V.U.
Now this is a great post and one I totally agree.

OP, you do well to take his advice.
 

markfromeurope

Senior Don Juan
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#5
Dating at work is a win-lose situation.

I'd say, go for it only if the prize is something Argonauts would want to go for (really hot woman, classy, good mentality, single, no kids etc.) since if you will score it will mostly require a LTR-mentality and you will lose your social freedom for sure. Phucking one woman at work is acceptable as long as you don't work in the same department and she is your official girlfriend.

Now, phucking around at work... is like putting head on the railroad and waiting for a train. Don't do it.

Reputation at work is something you need to guard. There's no come back from losing it.
 

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lamath

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#6
Dating a co-worker. Going good, not great. Notice another chick at work checking me out. She has a boyfriend and she also knows I am dating this co-worker but she won't stop sending signals. She's even put herself in situations where I can approach her without anybody seeing.

Not gonna lie. I would like to rob the bank if I knew I would get away with it but I've resigned myself to the fact that I have much more to lose than gain. Relationship, job, reputation, etc.

On the days she's not there I can work comfortably but when she's around it drives me crazy. Somedays I wanna walk up to her and get the ball rolling. Other days I wanna find out that she quit or got fired.

Going nuts over here.
Dont sheet where you eat!!


What you got there is an infatuation happens to me a few time when i was younger, this is not good.
Find a way to get rid of it, ik the feeling its hard to resist.
 
Joined
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#7
Okay I don't know what is up with you guys dating women at work. Now I did this years ago but I was 18 when I did this and I'm 47 now. It's not a good idea and the situation with the other woman I was in a similar situation but nothing did happen with the other woman. However, my ex cheated on me. This is why you don't want to date an ex you work with and it has nothing to do with cheating. My ex stayed at the same point of employment for 15 years. So dated her from ages 18 to 20. Then from 20 to 33 I had to see every reminder of every guy she was currently dating and then she met some else at the same workplace and then I had to get used to that situation. Back then I was conflicted about her but the lesson and it is a rule now I don't care how sexy or cute a woman is she is off limits at work. You might not think this would bother you but think about it. Not having sex with the woman anymore and having to see her. Think about that.
 
Joined
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#8
Okay I don't know what is up with you guys dating women at work. Now I did this years ago but I was 18 when I did this and I'm 47 now. It's not a good idea and the situation with the other woman I was in a similar situation but nothing did happen with the other woman. However, my ex cheated on me. This is why you don't want to date an ex you work with and it has nothing to do with cheating. My ex stayed at the same point of employment for 15 years. So dated her from ages 18 to 20. Then from 20 to 33 I had to see every reminder of every guy she was currently dating and then she met some else at the same workplace and then I had to get used to that situation. Back then I was conflicted about her but the lesson and it is a rule now I don't care how sexy or cute a woman is she is off limits at work. You might not think this would bother you but think about it. Not having sex with the woman anymore and having to see her. Think about that.
I think only sex is fine with work colleagues, not relationship, it's better to change switch jobs after in relationship or feelings and whatever..
 
R

Ranger

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#9
Dating a co-worker. Going good, not great. Notice another chick at work checking me out. She has a boyfriend and she also knows I am dating this co-worker but she won't stop sending signals. She's even put herself in situations where I can approach her without anybody seeing.

Not gonna lie. I would like to rob the bank if I knew I would get away with it but I've resigned myself to the fact that I have much more to lose than gain. Relationship, job, reputation, etc.

On the days she's not there I can work comfortably but when she's around it drives me crazy. Somedays I wanna walk up to her and get the ball rolling. Other days I wanna find out that she quit or got fired.

Going nuts over here.
She obviously doesn’t have a problem with you being with the other woman.

I know it’s just me but if you do her...she won’t be as much as a distraction. Just do interactions outside of work.

I don’t have a problem with doing women from work.
 
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#10
Ordinarily I would advise you to not get involved in any way with work skirts. But sometimes one cant help himself and dishes have to be consumed.

The orbiter coworker is farkable. Dhe is less likely to create drama because she already knows you are railing another colleague. It will be in her interest too to keep things under wraps if you both choose to bang. Women are more competitive than men. She probably just wants to secretly get one over the one you are seeing. A stolen orange tastes so much sweeter.
 
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Danger

Master Don Juan
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#11
Is the drama and damage to your career worth the extra pu$$y?

A better play would be to friendzone her (unbeknownst to her) and keep her on the hook until you can move ahead without causing yourself headaches.
 

Von

Master Don Juan
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#12
Alot of people here advice not to date coworkers. I am actually of the same advice.

However, my experience has been this: ALOT(40%) of people I meet in LTR(long term relationship) have meet AT work.

So if you into serious-longterm-commited relationship, might as well try
 

GT40

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#13
Dating co-workers can be dangerous and hazardous to your job. Are you her Supervisor? Is she yours? (very bad in HR's eyes)

Most work relationships end up badly. If she's a plate-then ok why not. But don't get involved. Drama will follow you for the rest of your days at that company of you proceed that way
 
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