"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Dating Coworkers..

Demodulate

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Dating Coworkers..

I myself thinks its a mistake, but my experience comes from when I was young working at the ex's family restaurant.. she had seniority, do this do that, etc..

I am going through a dry spell at the moment, and I find myself with nothing worth pursuing. My social circle is narrowing as I get older for numerous reasons.. and I find myself getting out and doing social things less and less..

so at the moment I have work and grad school as my two main social outlets.. I had the opportunity to be fixed up with CEO's daughter when I first started at my current job but I laughed it off thinking about my track record with woman.. "don't sh1t where you eat" comes to mind.. anywho we have a new accountant.. shes petite, intelligent, and single.. if she didn't work here I would of already asked her to do something..

being as it was mothers day this past weekend, mom and I spent the afternoon and evening catching up.. she wanted to know if there where any ladies in my life.. and beside my one stray cat, its looking bleak.. but there is this one girl at work.. has her MBA, cute, etc.. mom immediately said i should ask her out.. since my father isn't around anymore, what does Sosuave think about interoffice dating?

yes, no, maybe?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Magma

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I think if you analyze things a bit more, you'll realize that you're working from a position of scarcity, thereby clouding your judgement concerning inter-office dating. You already state that you think it's a bad idea, but now you're considering it based on the fact that you have no action going.

I can certainly understand how your social circle dynamic is evolving. We all deal with that at this age. Friendships fall off, guys get married/have kids, etc. I certainly widened my social circle whilst finishing grad school, and it's a great opportunity to expand. With work and school, it's difficult to cultivate new friendships/relationships but it can be done.

As per my thoughts on dating in the workplace...

I think it's a bad idea. And this is coming from personal experience. The temptation is great because of long hours or intense projects that require people to spend a great deal of time with each other and whom also becomed emotionally invested in the project. But it's not worth it. At all. Sure, there are some guys who will probably say that they've handled it just fine. But in my experience, and from the experience of those around me, it's a lost cause.

Get out, become more active, join a social group, or just approach more. But leave the dating for outside the office. My opinion...
 

Demodulate

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I agree with you..

and its not that I don't meet woman.. they just aren't quality woman..
 

Werman

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I have a slightly different take on it.

Myself, I work at a very large company, and there are literally thousands of people where I work. While I would NEVER consider dating someone that I work closely with, I would consider asking someone out in a different department (and who has a completely different job so there would be no potential for us to get transferred into one another's department.)

If your situation is similar to this, check your company's policy on the subject and go for it if it looks clear.
 

#41

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I work with a girl who I would absolutely love to date -- but, it just strikes me as a generally poor idea (for many reasons, not the least of which is that I'm technically in a supervisory role over her).

It does suck, though -- she's the kind of intelligent, quirky, slightly offbeat and cute girl that you never seem to see out and about at bars/clubs.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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