Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Dating Coworkers..

Demodulate

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Dating Coworkers..

I myself thinks its a mistake, but my experience comes from when I was young working at the ex's family restaurant.. she had seniority, do this do that, etc..

I am going through a dry spell at the moment, and I find myself with nothing worth pursuing. My social circle is narrowing as I get older for numerous reasons.. and I find myself getting out and doing social things less and less..

so at the moment I have work and grad school as my two main social outlets.. I had the opportunity to be fixed up with CEO's daughter when I first started at my current job but I laughed it off thinking about my track record with woman.. "don't sh1t where you eat" comes to mind.. anywho we have a new accountant.. shes petite, intelligent, and single.. if she didn't work here I would of already asked her to do something..

being as it was mothers day this past weekend, mom and I spent the afternoon and evening catching up.. she wanted to know if there where any ladies in my life.. and beside my one stray cat, its looking bleak.. but there is this one girl at work.. has her MBA, cute, etc.. mom immediately said i should ask her out.. since my father isn't around anymore, what does Sosuave think about interoffice dating?

yes, no, maybe?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Magma

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I think if you analyze things a bit more, you'll realize that you're working from a position of scarcity, thereby clouding your judgement concerning inter-office dating. You already state that you think it's a bad idea, but now you're considering it based on the fact that you have no action going.

I can certainly understand how your social circle dynamic is evolving. We all deal with that at this age. Friendships fall off, guys get married/have kids, etc. I certainly widened my social circle whilst finishing grad school, and it's a great opportunity to expand. With work and school, it's difficult to cultivate new friendships/relationships but it can be done.

As per my thoughts on dating in the workplace...

I think it's a bad idea. And this is coming from personal experience. The temptation is great because of long hours or intense projects that require people to spend a great deal of time with each other and whom also becomed emotionally invested in the project. But it's not worth it. At all. Sure, there are some guys who will probably say that they've handled it just fine. But in my experience, and from the experience of those around me, it's a lost cause.

Get out, become more active, join a social group, or just approach more. But leave the dating for outside the office. My opinion...
 

Demodulate

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I agree with you..

and its not that I don't meet woman.. they just aren't quality woman..
 

Werman

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I have a slightly different take on it.

Myself, I work at a very large company, and there are literally thousands of people where I work. While I would NEVER consider dating someone that I work closely with, I would consider asking someone out in a different department (and who has a completely different job so there would be no potential for us to get transferred into one another's department.)

If your situation is similar to this, check your company's policy on the subject and go for it if it looks clear.
 

#41

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I work with a girl who I would absolutely love to date -- but, it just strikes me as a generally poor idea (for many reasons, not the least of which is that I'm technically in a supervisory role over her).

It does suck, though -- she's the kind of intelligent, quirky, slightly offbeat and cute girl that you never seem to see out and about at bars/clubs.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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