Dating an woman in her 40's

StrayCat

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I went back on to online dating with new pro pics and bio thinking with my much slender look and new style women in their 20's and 30's would be interested. Absolutely no luck. The only ones that are interested are overweight women, ugly women, and single mommas. Since the single mommas were at least attractive, I selected the most attractive one who reached out to me. She's 40 and has 4 kids, all teens. At the beginning, it was okay, but after two months, it started to turn downhill. She wanted me to pay for everything, because she said she was old school, since I had no other prospects, I stayed. Never cooked, but I cooked for her. Never offered to pay for anything, not even a coffee; yet she claims she makes 95k a year, so I kept the dates cheap. Started seeing less of each other, but would she'd text me daily. She went away with one of her sons for 10 days in December and we were going to meet up the day she came back. All of a sudden, she wanted me to drive to the airport and pick them up, I declined. She went crazy saying she doesn't know what the big deal is. Could I at least send a taxi, I said no, you can cover that. The airport is over an hour away and I do not work as a taxi as my side gig. We did meet up, but she was pissed off. I paid for dinner and we went axe throwing. I thought it would be a fun event, she didn't care for it. A few days later we were going to do something on Sunday, but she became under the weather. She still wanted to do something, but I told her it's better for her to rest and I rather not get sick and miss work, she got pissed again. She then sent me a message saying I'm really great but just wants to hang out and be friends. She's looking for a man who will provide for her so she doesn't have to work and she feels that we're from two different schools of thought. Then another text saying we've built up such a good report over the past few months that she hopes that I will stay in her life. Then a following text saying that I need a man that will treat me like a princess and take care of me. Take care of me when I am sick. Pay for my expenses. Treat me like the woman that I am. Then another text, a man I can marry and stay home and not worry about work or money. A man that would take care of everything. I just replied back and said later. Then another text, so you're okay with my arrangement? I said no, good bye and please don't contact me again. Have a nice life and good luck finding your knight in shining armor. I am sure they are all around for a divorced single momma with four kids who 40 years old and wants to contribute zero to a relationship.

Are all women over 40 like this? I never experienced such a selfish self centered me me me woman before. Am I missing something here?
 
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kbbroiler1971

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To answer your question. Yes most of them are this way on dating sites. Do you know how many times I've been asked what my intentions are right off? These women who ****ed up with their own life are trying to rope men in to saving them. I'm very straight forward with women over 40. I tell them straight up you have dewindling options which men like men know so don't expect some kind of commitment from me right off. This chases the ones awy which are the sharks looking for blood. The funny thing with tinder and hot or not do you know I actually like everybody. No joke. I look at it this way. It's like buying a lottery ticket so I don't get hung up on looks and so forth. If ugly women reply, don't reply back. I just like everyone and see who responds back to see if I am interested or not.
 

Alvafe

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online dating, I consider that scrapping the bottom, why? just wonder, why a good woman would have time to spend on a online dating site?

remember woman get atencion for free daily, if she is anything cute a guy close by will try to date her, so to me its always a wonder to why, is she that annoying? if she just fishing for attencion? is she so desperate even online dating is ok?

all that is a waste of time for me, so I aim to work on real life, plus internet as a whole works more like a easy way out to protect your ego, makes you too weak.

for woman not only is the 40+ are like that all woman are like that, her behavior will depend on how well she likes you, and how much you tolerate
 

highSpeed

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To answer your question. Yes most of them are this way on dating sites. Do you know how many times I've been asked what my intentions are right off? These women who ****ed up with their own life are trying to rope men in to saving them. I'm very straight forward with women over 40. I tell them straight up you have dewindling options which men like men know so don't expect some kind of commitment from me right off. This chases the ones awy which are the sharks looking for blood. The funny thing with tinder and hot or not do you know I actually like everybody. No joke. I look at it this way. It's like buying a lottery ticket so I don't get hung up on looks and so forth. If ugly women reply, don't reply back. I just like everyone and see who responds back to see if I am interested or not.
But the funny part is, they don't want to give anything back. Yes, take care of me. Pay for me. Do things for me. What, do things for you? Sheeeeet, I'm not doing that, why would I want to do that.

These women, it's not just the dating sites. The dating sites may accentuate this behavior, but make no mistake about it, this behavior is there already. Honestly, if this is the case and modern women and feminists want this, why not allow for harems and polygamy? Hey, if I can pay for and take care of multiple women, just buy them another residence, I live at another and just go over to bang when I'm horny. That actually sounds pretty good. You get all of the hot chicks you can afford, you have a contract and everyone knows what their role is. Any of them break the contract by stepping out on you? They get thrown out and that's it. You don't take care of them? Ok, they can leave and move on to someone else. I'm liking this idea.
 
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R

Ranger

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I am sure they are all around for a divorced single momma with four kids who 40 years old and wants to contribute zero to a relationship.

Are all women over 40 like this? I never experienced such a selfish self centered me me me woman before. Am I missing something here?
Unless they feel desire they won’t contribute anything to the effort. She doesn’t have many options. She’s used up her time on the carousel. I don’t really feel anything for them. But it’s obvious they wasted a lot of life. She has built nothing worthy of self satisfaction. There is no dignity. Dignity comes from successes and sacrifice. These are just words to them. No emotional context attached to those words.
Kinda scary in a way.
 

jaymbrs

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Haha! Props for the way you told her how it is at the end. Hope she likes 70 year olds with money. That's all she's going to get.
 

StrayCat

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I just thought the whole thing was just odd, strange and weird. Can a woman really be that delusional to think she can expect what she said above? I have no problem paying for events or food that I invite the woman to, but become a taxi driver? She even stated many have done this before for her with no issues or qualms. It really made me feel like she was doing a favor by being with me. Was I wrong about not taking care of her when she was sick? It was the day after and she was very contagious, she even said so. I was going to check in with her a few days later, but I cannot get the a bad cold or flu right now and miss work. I did give her some zinc and cough drops which I told her to start taking since she was coming down with something that her daughter gave her. Her response, I don't like the taste... It was like a 40 year old turning into a 12 year old. I often wonder if she'd also do the same if it was reverse. Somehow I do not think she'd give the same care that she's requesting. Interestingly enough I reactivated my match subscription and she not only had an active profile, but it had that green dot showing she was online. More interestingly enough is that her profile is not hidden, so it shows you the last few who visited my profile. She's been viewing today and yesterday. I feel so used it's not even funny.
 

StrayCat

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But the funny part is, they don't want to give anything back. Yes, take care of me. Pay for me. Do things for me. What, do things for you? Sheeeeet, I'm not doing that, why would I want to do that.

These women, it's not just the dating sites. The dating sites may accentuate this behavior, but make no mistake about it, this behavior is there already. Honestly, if this is the case and modern women and feminists want this, why not allow for harems and polygamy? Hey, if I can pay for and take care of multiple women, just buy them another residence, I live at another and just go over to bang when I'm horny. That actually sounds pretty good. You get all of the hot chicks you can afford, you have a contract and everyone knows what their role is. Any of them break the contract by stepping out on you? They get thrown out and that's it. You don't take care of them? Ok, they can leave and move on to someone else. I'm liking this idea.
She was telling me that her sister got married to a surgical doctor and she already had two kids. He married her, they had another three kids and he bought her a new house. I then asked, how old is your sister? She said 29. How can you compare a 29 year old to a 40 year old? In addition, they had kids for her to take care of between both of them, yours are nearly out of the house. What am I not understanding by her thought process? I am just trying to see how I can navigate other women that I may date.
 

jaymbrs

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She was telling me that her sister got married to a surgical doctor and she already had two kids. He married her, they had another three kids and he bought her a new house. I then asked, how old is your sister? She said 29. How can you compare a 29 year old to a 40 year old? In addition, they had kids for her to take care of between both of them, yours are nearly out of the house. What am I not understanding by her thought process? I am just trying to see how I can navigate other women that I may date.
She's your typical gold digger, man. That's how they are. Don't lose sleep over this. It's not that uncommon. I understand your initial shock but no need to ponder about this too hard.
 
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sazc

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IMO stop wasting time analyzing this. You are not wrong for seeing/feeling the red flags you did.

Are "all" 40+ women like this? No. Will you find plenty of 40+ women like this? Yes

Again, you are wasting time going over a dating situation that you weren't comfortable with.

Love yourself enough to accept the fact that this is not the dynamic you want, and that that is OKAY, and move on
 

StrayCat

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Just posting an experience. I don't like taking advantage of anyone, and I certainly do not like it happening to me. I was just floored by this BS. I wish she told me before so I didn't have to waste my time. I still think there was a guy on the side. It doesn't matter anymore, just sharing.
 

Bible_Belt

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Just posting an experience. I don't like taking advantage of anyone, and I certainly do not like it happening to me. I was just floored by this BS. I wish she told me before so I didn't have to waste my time. I still think there was a guy on the side. It doesn't matter anymore, just sharing.
Not to kick you when you are down, but I think there were a lot of warning signs in what you shared about her. In your next relationship, you will be faster to pick up on such signs.
 

markfromeurope

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Once you hit 40 and you have spewed out four children that drain your wallet as phuck only thing that remained is sincerity about being

G.o.l.d.D.i.g.g.e.r.

G.o.l.d.D.i.g.g.e.r. かニ旺

G.o.l.d.D.i.g.g.e.r. (かニ旺)

【G.o.l.d.D.i.g.g.e.r.】

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StrayCat

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Not to kick you when you are down, but I think there were a lot of warning signs in what you shared about her. In your next relationship, you will be faster to pick up on such signs.
Not a problem. I can take my medicine. What specifically do you or others feel I missed the ball? I am sure as I date more and more I will have the experience to spot them myself. As of right now, not so much. I don't think me walking away was a bad thing. It seemed she wanted to keep me on the side and explore other men in the meantime. I really took a step back since we've been dating for several months. I just thought that was odd. One of my female colleagues said it was a test, and I handled it well. She said she does it too to shake things up and see how her men react. She says the majority either beg to work on it, agree to her terms or bad mouth her. I did the opposite where I just said later. That shows you reached your limit and not going to deal with it any longer. That would make her question and wonder about you, so it works in my favor if I wanted it to.

It's left a sour taste in my mouth for this one. I can say I have zero trust with this one and have little interest in entertaining her shenanigans again. Am I wrong?
 

StrayCat

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Once you hit 40 and you have spewed out four children that drain your wallet as phuck only thing that remained is sincerity about being

G.o.l.d.D.i.g.g.e.r.

G.o.l.d.D.i.g.g.e.r. かニ旺

G.o.l.d.D.i.g.g.e.r. (かニ旺)

【G.o.l.d.D.i.g.g.e.r.】

View attachment 2169
She said it was expensive too. Her divorced mom helps out a lot and she is battling her ex-husband for child support often. How is that my problem? Her picker was bad.
 

Spaz

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I believe that all women out of curiosity ends up registering online on dating apps and the vast majority (90% estimation) tapers off.

Then you're left with the 9% that's actually losers in real life with real life baggages full of garbage inside.

The remaining 1%...that's what u r actually chasing and competing with other men online.

Pitiful.
 
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