Dating advice

[kkk9233]

So, I met this wonderful girl a couple of weekends ago in the club. We danced, kissed exchanged numbers/ Facebook and all that. 2 weeks after she spent the weekend at my place ( she's from another city ) and we had lots of fun and after a couple of weekend I went at her place.

Here's the story: at her place while we had fun, I got a Tinder match on my phone and me wanting to make a joke I showed it to her. Obviously she got upset. Once I got home, we didn't chat for a couple of days and she wrote to:"I'm not sure if we're going to succeed as a date", my reply was:" I also thought about this the last couple of days. I think you're beautiful, smart and nice but unless we're really honest about our expectation it will not work".

Moving forward: we keep texting daily, but the intensity is lower and when I ask her to speak on phone instead of texting, she seems to avoid me. I'm not sure if it's because she prefers texting. What do you think it will be the best move here ?


PS: i'm a newbie here

 

[Tictac]

Stop texting her! The 'intensity' is falling because you are over-pursuing.

Let her come to you in her own time. Or wait a few days and then call her and ask her out.

Text/phone are for setting dates.

 

[dustmuffin]

Stop texting her! The 'intensity' is falling because you are over-pursuing.

Let her come to you in her own time. Or wait a few days and then call her and ask her out.

Text/phone are for setting dates.

The grumpy voice of reason nails it.

 

[Serenity]

I think she's insecure. Club women are extremely aware of players, showing that to her might have made her doubtful even if it was a joke. Any sane woman I imagine would have taken it as a sign of honesty, like "oh he's showing me she doesn't stand a chance like I do". I would at least taken it that way, I'm more suspicious if it was concealed.

Dated a club woman once, I could see she tested the sh!t out of me and was very focused on showing whatever happened on her phone. Some dude here and some dude there, all orbiters being needy while I was seeing the stupidity from the other side. I bet she would have bailed if she knew I spoke with anyone else, club women are jealous drama filled b!tches.

Don't get hooked on that game. If she won't trust you then stay away. Doing so might make her resolve to give you a chance of trust since not giving a sh!t sets you apart from the average pvssy hungry club goer.

Although I'm interpreting more deeply the course of action is the same as Tictac suggests.

 

[SoSuave666]

Unless your initials are kkk you have me on high alert, sir.

 

[Yewki]

So, I met this wonderful girl...

The reason this thead exists is because you pedestalize her.

But yeah going out of your way to show her your Tinder match while hanging out at her place was very poor form. You never want to volunteer info showing that other girls are interested in you. Never. You have to be discreet. If she's interested in you, she'll find out. Either behind your back or by directly asking.

Her message "I'm not sure if we're going to succeed as a date" translates to, "I still like you but I think you're going to waste my time, so I'm going to rock the boat and see how you react. Maybe you'll make it an easy decision to drop you."

I also thought about this the last couple of days. I think you're beautiful, smart and nice but unless we're really honest about our expectation it will not work

Saying you thought about her "the last couple of days" is no bueno. Your compliments were unnecessary. You tried to turn the tables with the part about honesty and expectations, but she's not that dumb and will probably see it as ironic and condescending.

I think your best bet would have been to be honest, "Is this about the Tinder thing? That was my bad I don't know what I was thinking"

 

[kkk9233]

Thanks for the advice guys. I appreciate it !

 

[kkk9233]

The reason this thead exists is because you pedestalize her.

But yeah going out of your way to show her your Tinder match while hanging out at her place was very poor form. You never want to volunteer info showing that other girls are interested in you. Never. You have to be discreet. If she's interested in you, she'll find out. Either behind your back or by directly asking.

Her message "I'm not sure if we're going to succeed as a date" translates to, "I still like you but I think you're going to waste my time, so I'm going to rock the boat and see how you react. Maybe you'll make it an easy decision to drop you."



Saying you thought about her "the last couple of days" is no bueno. Your compliments were unnecessary. You tried to turn the tables with the part about honesty and expectations, but she's not that dumb and will probably see it as ironic and condescending.

I think your best bet would have been to be honest, "Is this about the Tinder thing? That was my bad I don't know what I was thinking"

One more thing:
3 weeks ago when we saw each other last time she told me this weekend she was available ( we didn't plan anything, just left it out in the open). A couple of days ago I asked her if she wanted to come over at my place to spend the weekend and she told me " I know it sounds weird, but I plan on not having any plans this weekend". Any suggestions on how to move on from this ?

 

[Yewki]

Any suggestions on how to move on from this ?

Start talking to other girls, if you haven't already

 

[Tictac]

One more thing:
3 weeks ago when we saw each other last time she told me this weekend she was available ( we didn't plan anything, just left it out in the open). A couple of days ago I asked her if she wanted to come over at my place to spend the weekend and she told me " I know it sounds weird, but I plan on not having any plans this weekend". Any suggestions on how to move on from this ?

STOP TEXTING/CALLING HER!

Simple enough this time?

 

[El Payaso]

Move on. Stop wasting your time. You screwed up. Take it as a lesson and MOVE ON.

 

[wifehunter]

Too much time together so early on spells disaster.

Hooked, he is! Go fishing or something!

 

[Mot1veProgress]

You overcompensated because you thought you compromised the relationship because of the tinder alert.

Now using the knowledge she has about the situation as a whole.. She can keep you on your heels.. and probably knows it.. and that's best for her because obviously she probably doesn't want to hurt herself either.

 

[kkk9233]

The thing is that I really wanna keep her and work this out. She's super nice. I usually I am the one night stand guy and I don't have any problems getting girls, but this one, she's so innocent and nice. Any advice on how do you think it's best to proceed from here and contact her again ? maybe don't talk at all with her for 3-4 days and after call her and ask her if she wants to make some plans for Valentines ?

 

[Tictac]

The thing is that I really wanna keep her and work this out. She's super nice. I usually I am the one night stand guy and I don't have any problems getting girls, but this one, she's so innocent and nice. Any advice on how do you think it's best to proceed from here and contact her again ? maybe don't talk at all with her for 3-4 days and after call her and ask her if she wants to make some plans for Valentines ?

If you do anything, you're a fool. WAIT. If she's interested, she'll get in touch. When she does, ask her out for a date/time certain. If she accepts, go. If she doesn't reach out, you know everything you need to know - you are done.

 

[RangerMIke]

Don't text. Call, and only to make dates.... otherwise stay off the phone. When you are with a woman, if you can't stop yourself, turn your phone off. Pretend you don't have one.

My guess is that she isn't upset the Tinder thing.... women actually prefer men that other women want. If she thought you were her only shot a pvssy she wouldn't like you. She's backed off because you are acting like she is better than you, and if you do this too much with a woman, she will start to believe it and believe she can do better than you ... soon you'll be gone.