Dating advice article recommends single moms NOT disclose they have children...

[KarmaSutra]

Well some are definitely damaged goods.

A little off-topic but a true story:

Early 90's just before I met my wife. I meet a woman at a bar and she invites me back to her place. She's young, hot but showing some rough edges already. I sense an overcompensator and am ready to go. We get their she has a kid who's about 18 months old. No biggie. But then she says "I'll be back in about 15 minutes I have to drive the babysitter home can you watch the baby?".

My jaw just about hit the floor. I drove the babysitter home myself and went over to a friend's place. I run into her at the same bar the next weekend and she invites me back again to "properly thank me for dropping off the babysitter".

I told her that only a whack-job would leave an 18-month old baby with a guy she had just met at a bar and I wouldn't screw her with my buddy's d*ck.

Not sure why it bugged me so much, but it did.

You did the mature thing. What's sad though is that there are more guys than not who would have said:

"Ok."

Fvcking people make me sick.

 

[Colossus]

i believe that when you fail to disclose info, and keep it hidden to lure someone in to you, then you are a liar by default.
i never went out with anyone in my single days without telling them before hand that i had children.
what if they hated children? why would i waste my time with them?
even when i did not want a relationship, they all knew i had the children.
even if i was not ready for someone to meet my children, they still knew i had them.

Yes. And thank you for being a positive example. I just met a girl online who (i think) has a kid. And apparently a fiancee. And she lied about her age.

The advice given in that article defeats itself. These women KNOW that being a single mom is undesireable to many men, so they purposely withhold that info under the guise that if and when he DOES find out, he should be accepting of it, otherwise he wasnt really worth it anyway.

Right. Like that isnt CRITICAL information for someone to know before you start dating. That is esentially no different than not telling a man you are married, or engaged, or have some sort of communicable disease. Not comparing children to disease, of course, but come on. That is at the top of the list of NEED TO KNOW information.

Ahhh, the wiles of online dating.

 

[mzilla2]

i believe that when you fail to disclose info, and keep it hidden to lure someone in to you, then you are a liar by default.
i never went out with anyone in my single days without telling them before hand that i had children.
what if they hated children? why would i waste my time with them?
even when i did not want a relationship, they all knew i had the children.
even if i was not ready for someone to meet my children, they still knew i had them.

Yes, alas I think you are in the minority.

I'm sure they won't mind then if i don't divulge my girlfriend or the fact i'm only looking for sex..

No, I'm sure we can find an article from the same "expert" that will denouce you as a liar, fraud and user. :crackup:

The biggest problem with single Moms is using thier children as crutches. If a SM needs to use an alibi or excuse, regardless of reason, to flake she will (mostly) use her kids to compensate for the truth.

This has consistently been my experience as well.

The advice given in that article defeats itself. These women KNOW that being a single mom is undesireable to many men, so they purposely withhold that info under the guise that if and when he DOES find out, he should be accepting of it, otherwise he wasnt really worth it anyway..

Yes again, these articles always pander to establishing and confirming the frame that when dating, the woman implicitly has more value than the man, regardless of her behaviour, deception or history. YOU GO GIRL! :cheer:


Don't get me wrong, men decieve too, just seems rare that you find an article validating or recommending that they do.

Good discussion, carry on.