Dating a girl for 4 months, she wanted a relationship. I feel like a total a-hole

[Anders]

The breakup was OK, more on the bitter/no contact side on both our parts.

We dated for 4 months, she wanted an LTR at this point but I had lost my job around when she wanted to get serious. I wasn't going to jump into a relationship. I got a great paying job just a week after we broke it off for the reasons below.

She began to show less interest in me when i told her I couldn't be in a relationship and also when I wouldn't answer whether or not i was having sex with other girls. I actually wasn't, but she thought I was banging like 10 girls. I didn't want to tell her that I wasn't. Not to seem like a cool/alpha mysterious player, but because that type of personal info isn't something I would tell a girl I've only been dating for a handful of months. Seemed weird and I just wanted to avoid it.

So she asked me one more time. Usually I avoid it by saying something stupid like "Im dating 76 women right now" she laughs and then its over with. This last time I got serious with her and said I honestly didnt think that was her business, it was personal and I'm not going to say whether or not I was with other women. I could be and I couldnt be, I just dont think it's your business. This was before I dropped her off and I think it was the final straw for her. She left my car frustrated/sad/mad. I felt like a massive prick.

Now i realize that she likes me so much that she wants me for herself, that's probably why she was asking.

Since that night, we havent spoken for about 6-7 days. So after realizing she lost interest in me, I decided to make the first move before she had a chance. I texted her that I couldn't offer her a relationship at the time and we shouldn't see each other anymore. I said I hope she finds what shes looking for, and bye.

She never replied to this text.

So far we've both been going no contact for like 4-5 days since that text i sent. I got a couple snapchats from her and send some random stuff back a couple times, but that's it.

Is there a non desperate/needy way to get this thing going again or did I bury this by sending that text? Also, do I say if she asks that question again?

 

[Comatozed]

I'd say the only way to get her back is to tell her you're willing to only see her. But I wouldn't do this via text, ask her to meet you to talk. I also wouldn't do it if yiu would be lying.

 

[Aware]

Is there a non desperate/needy way to get this thing going again

Your post alone confirms that you are already desperate, don't you see it?

 

[sylvester the cat]

YOu didn't want a LTR so what's the problemo?

If you just want to keep her as a plate then maintain frame and see what happens. If she's cool with that then she'll be back. If not, she's just a plate, right????

http://img.pandawhale.com/100957-Groundhog-Day-BING-gif-Ned-Rye-wN6x.gif

 

[RangerMIke]

Okay... just because she pulled back does not mean she lost interest in you. Often times this happens with women when you let them know you're not ready for anything exclusive or when you get to the point where the shine wears off the newness. In the future when this happens the best you can do is back off and give her some space to let her think about you. DO NOT PURSUE. It will make you seem weak.

When you were joking about other women you are seeing that was spot on... but when you started saying it's none of her business the conversation started to get too serious. Always kid and tease her when she brings stuff like that up. Make her feel like she is the best of the bunch... even if she is the only one. TRUST me she would rather believe that she is the best of many rather than your only option. I know it is counter-intuitive, but believe me when I say this. Women would rather share a real man than be exclusive with a Beta.

You should have never broken up via text, it's like buring a bridge, she will have lost respect for you and if you loved you that is going to be greatly diminished.... but it's done, the only thing you can do at this point is be true to whatever you put in the text message.

If she reaches out to you assume you wants to see you. Make a date, and start over. You have to wait for her. If she is still interested she will reach out to you. You need to have a mind set at this point that it is over, start collecting phone numbers and go out with some women. If she comes back great, otherwise you have you life and try to put this behind you.

 

[Zarky]

haha OP that's the story of my life:

1) find girl who's more into me than I am into her
2) after short time she gets possessive and "wants more"
3) I string her along until she realizes I'll never commit to her
4) She dumps me
5) I regret losing her and write some sappy note which she ignores

I've done that dance at least two dozen times in my adult life. Will probably do it another two dozen times.

You haven't done step #5 yet but it sounds like you're right on the verge