"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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dating a girl associated w/ work

jhs

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Hello new friends.

I used to be AFC however I had a seriously bad experience with a best friend turned into more turned into nothing which taught me to value myself. Ever since then life has been great.

Anyways, I'm in a questionable situation.. At my job I talk to 20-30 girls a day. I review applications and have to call back and forth. I live in southern california and the majority of the agents I speak with are in los angeles and are latinas to boot. Well to make a long story short, my last name means bachelor in spanish & I'm black. So when I say my last name they think I'm asking them if they're single or something? It gets a lot of girls curious about me. Well one girl seemed to shine out of the bunch and sent me her picture. She is good looking and 2 years older than me. She started emailing me a lot and trying to meet up with friends for a while & I started to warm up to it. Although I have a policy with dating women at work (DONT!) I don't really consider her "at work". Well a few days after I dont consider her "at work" the girls at my work ask me if I'm hooking up with the girl in question. So I stopped talking to the girl in question & cold shouldered her for a while. Waited a few weeks then asked her where shes been and when she wants to go out to get to know eachother better. She gets excited and can't wait for this weekend to come.

Right off the bat I'm starting to get a weird vibe that this girl is very needy.. although she also seems very very submissive. This is now a 50/50 situation for me as I can't really do much with a needy girl. But theres tons I could do with a submissive girl... Im very very curious, but I fear that if I dont like her, and blow her off, I will be stuck with a situation at work. Based on what I've told you guys... you think I should go for it or flake on the date??
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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scott44

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Don't fvcking do it dude!!!! If you're going to be working around this girl, then you're setting yourself up for a big mistake.

Plus, if you're in a position that's supervisory to this girl, then you'll be extremely fvcked. Everything will go up in smoke and then before you know it you'll be out on the street, because she claimed some sexual harrassment bullshyt.

If you hardly see this girl, or if you don't really work with her, then by all means HIT IT.

Never, Never, Never mess with women in the workplace.

I speak from personal experience, and you can find many posts around this motherfvcker that say the same thing.
 

jhs

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Well she works approx 50 miles away, so she definently wont be around the work place. There are other reps at her company (all girls) I can call (and mostly do call) so thats not much of a problem. I think ultimatley my fear is having to deal with a needy girl that knows WHERE I work. I have not shown her my picture and I dont quite understand why an attractive girl would be so willing to meet up with someone. She calls me love and begs to know if I'm interested in her all the time. Shes always asking me questions about what I like in girls. I think since I rarely get hit on in such a direct way, I'm not quite sure how to handle it & think that there must be some foulplay involved. I'll tell you what. I'll do it, and let you guys know what happens. Ive never been overly nice to the girl so I dont think shed be surprised if I shot her down. Disappointed yes, but surprised no. Perhaps I unknowingly passed a sh1t test by giving her the cold shoulder when her buddies assumed we were dating & now shes up for grabs? *shrug*
 

Swoop

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Originally posted by jhs
Well she works approx 50 miles away, so she definently wont be around the work place. There are other reps at her company (all girls) I can call (and mostly do call) so thats not much of a problem. I think ultimatley my fear is having to deal with a needy girl that knows WHERE I work. I have not shown her my picture and I dont quite understand why an attractive girl would be so willing to meet up with someone. She calls me love and begs to know if I'm interested in her all the time. Shes always asking me questions about what I like in girls. I think since I rarely get hit on in such a direct way, I'm not quite sure how to handle it & think that there must be some foulplay involved. I'll tell you what. I'll do it, and let you guys know what happens. Ive never been overly nice to the girl so I dont think shed be surprised if I shot her down. Disappointed yes, but surprised no. Perhaps I unknowingly passed a sh1t test by giving her the cold shoulder when her buddies assumed we were dating & now shes up for grabs? *shrug*
In that situation, I think it is fine to date her. It doesn't hurt to go hang out with her and really see how she is, who knows you two might actually hit it off. If not, back to business as usual..
 

scott44

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Very strange indeed.

I don't know how she could be so interested in you if she's never seen your picture. The only thing I can think of is that some other co-worker girls of yours told were talking about you and said that you were hot. Or something.

Be careful, I'd pack some heat on this date.

If she's hot, and wants to see you again, keep playing it cool and of course keep it a mystery on how your feelings are towards her. Good luck.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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