I’ve been an acquaintance/drinking buddy with this girl for over 4 years. She dated my college roommate for 18 months and recently broke up with him 3 months ago. He lives in another state and we rarely talk (online over IM).
Since their breakup, we have gone on several dates.
She asked me to join her for the ballet. I hit on her at the ballet and at the end of the night I asked her that night to the next opera which was 2 weeks from then. I saw her the following weekend around town and asked her to go cologne shopping with me. We flirted at the store, went back to her place to change for the opera, flirted there, during the show she put her head on my shoulders, I took her out to a coffeehouse/bar till 3am where we flirted and had a blast. I heard through my friends that she kept talking about that night… 3 days later I went to her place and laid in her bed next to her and held her hand, went up and down her forearm, played with her shirt, and her hair. I tested her and knew that it was definitely mutual… I asked her to let me out of the gate and she wouldn’t – she said she didn’t want me to leave – wanted me to stay a little longer. Left a voicemail several days after going to her place but she didn’t return the call. A few days later I randomly ran into her a restaurant… she got very nervous and fumbled on her excuse about not calling me back yet, I just laughed and said it was okay. She messaged me the next day randomly. I was purposely holding back on calling her but after finding out the news of her grandmother’s passing, I called her… however after some time after offering my condolences and support she started flirting with me… I didn’t ask her out since it was weird to be flirting on a condolence call anyway. I let a week go by and called her at random, she was very excited to hear from me. I asked her out for Saturday night and wouldn’t tell her what I had planned. I took her go kart racing at an arcade place. We had a few drinks beforehand at the bar. I was all over her, arm over her back, fingers running across her back, arms, moving her bangs when they fell, touching her chin… she was completely comfortable. Conversation was very flirty.
However at certain points she verbally expressed some hesitation because of our situation (she had dated my college roommate). She mentioned in a coy way that “you know we shouldn’t be going out on dates like this” I simply replied “no I don’t know that” to which she said “yeah you dooo” and I replied “well you’re having fun, I’m having fun, that’s all that matters”. After finishing our 90 minute conversation at the bar we went to go register for the go karts and get an arcade game card… while in line she said “you can’t pay cuz then it’s a date” and I say “haha it’s most definitely a date and you knew that” and she replied “haha argh okay” to which I responded “hey there’s nothing wrong with it being a date” and she replied “I know but…” and I interrupt her to say “it’s all good, things will unfold however”
It was an incredible night of competitive game playing and go karting. She was smiling the whole time and I never let up on the romantic touching and leaning to which she was completely comfortable with. However I felt that she was not yet comfortable enough with me to kiss her. Though she was fine with me touching her the most she would do on her own was to lean into me or play punch me…. As we left in the car I told her I had one last surprise and I pulled out a very cute movie to which she smiled probably because she knew exactly what I planned to do if we were to watch it together. She politely rejected that idea by saying that she had “made plans to go out with other people late night…” I understood what she was saying and let it go. I dropped her at place, she invited me to her holiday party this coming Friday and said that she would talk to me sometime this week…
I feel that she likes me, she has a blast with me, but is not yet comfortable enough with me to kiss her or to get into a relationship with me yet. It could be that she only broke up with her ex 3 months ago.
I don’t know how much of the whole dating your ex’s friend thing bothers her. I know that’s a factor from the guy’s perspective but do girls take it into consideration as well? should i continue to do chill activities/dates with her and maintain the same level of intensity? after the holiday party should I start talking to her more often so that she feels closer/more comfortable with me?
Since their breakup, we have gone on several dates.
She asked me to join her for the ballet. I hit on her at the ballet and at the end of the night I asked her that night to the next opera which was 2 weeks from then. I saw her the following weekend around town and asked her to go cologne shopping with me. We flirted at the store, went back to her place to change for the opera, flirted there, during the show she put her head on my shoulders, I took her out to a coffeehouse/bar till 3am where we flirted and had a blast. I heard through my friends that she kept talking about that night… 3 days later I went to her place and laid in her bed next to her and held her hand, went up and down her forearm, played with her shirt, and her hair. I tested her and knew that it was definitely mutual… I asked her to let me out of the gate and she wouldn’t – she said she didn’t want me to leave – wanted me to stay a little longer. Left a voicemail several days after going to her place but she didn’t return the call. A few days later I randomly ran into her a restaurant… she got very nervous and fumbled on her excuse about not calling me back yet, I just laughed and said it was okay. She messaged me the next day randomly. I was purposely holding back on calling her but after finding out the news of her grandmother’s passing, I called her… however after some time after offering my condolences and support she started flirting with me… I didn’t ask her out since it was weird to be flirting on a condolence call anyway. I let a week go by and called her at random, she was very excited to hear from me. I asked her out for Saturday night and wouldn’t tell her what I had planned. I took her go kart racing at an arcade place. We had a few drinks beforehand at the bar. I was all over her, arm over her back, fingers running across her back, arms, moving her bangs when they fell, touching her chin… she was completely comfortable. Conversation was very flirty.
However at certain points she verbally expressed some hesitation because of our situation (she had dated my college roommate). She mentioned in a coy way that “you know we shouldn’t be going out on dates like this” I simply replied “no I don’t know that” to which she said “yeah you dooo” and I replied “well you’re having fun, I’m having fun, that’s all that matters”. After finishing our 90 minute conversation at the bar we went to go register for the go karts and get an arcade game card… while in line she said “you can’t pay cuz then it’s a date” and I say “haha it’s most definitely a date and you knew that” and she replied “haha argh okay” to which I responded “hey there’s nothing wrong with it being a date” and she replied “I know but…” and I interrupt her to say “it’s all good, things will unfold however”
It was an incredible night of competitive game playing and go karting. She was smiling the whole time and I never let up on the romantic touching and leaning to which she was completely comfortable with. However I felt that she was not yet comfortable enough with me to kiss her. Though she was fine with me touching her the most she would do on her own was to lean into me or play punch me…. As we left in the car I told her I had one last surprise and I pulled out a very cute movie to which she smiled probably because she knew exactly what I planned to do if we were to watch it together. She politely rejected that idea by saying that she had “made plans to go out with other people late night…” I understood what she was saying and let it go. I dropped her at place, she invited me to her holiday party this coming Friday and said that she would talk to me sometime this week…
I feel that she likes me, she has a blast with me, but is not yet comfortable enough with me to kiss her or to get into a relationship with me yet. It could be that she only broke up with her ex 3 months ago.
I don’t know how much of the whole dating your ex’s friend thing bothers her. I know that’s a factor from the guy’s perspective but do girls take it into consideration as well? should i continue to do chill activities/dates with her and maintain the same level of intensity? after the holiday party should I start talking to her more often so that she feels closer/more comfortable with me?