Dating a friend....?

[Kidd]

I am going to ask a really close female friend out. I had a crush on her for some time. I got over her, but now I am falling for her again..

Me and this chick are REALLY good friends. When we hang out, we both have a great time, no matter what we do. We always end up cuddling and holding hands. Also, she actually has goals and things going for her in life, and is not like those superficial drama chicks. She's just a great, fun person.

This is the question for those of you who in the past went from being friends to a LTR:

Is it really worth it in the end?

If we started a relationship and it ended after some time, would it still be possible to remain friends? Would it still be the same?

Thanks.

 

[Jerky Boi]

The main question you really have to ask yourself is "Is my friendship with this girl worth risking to date her?" If the answer to that is yes, then go for it. If not, you're standing on shaky ground.

More than likely, if you guys break up, the true test of friendship will arise. Usually the whole friends thing first doesn't work out for a lot of guys. I went out with one of my close "girl" friends a few years ago and it didn't really turn out well. But, if you said you were pretty close friends with her to begin with, you might have a reasonable chance of retaining her friendship if you guys actually break up.

Above all else, you're taking a big risk. I'd wait a little while, see if her interest in you rises, maybe ask her out on a few dates, and see where everything goes. If her body language and her attitude doesn't change from friend to possible bf, then don't ask her out.

 

[The Antichrist_Star]

Of course it was worth it... a new experience is almost always worth it. Just about everyone I have dated for extended periods of time (ergo 6 months +) I have been very good friends with them prior to us being in a relationship. And honestly, there was no difference between the two, which I do not believe is a bad thing (well... besides the sex and stuff like that). A lot of people believe that it is difficult because as a friend to this person, you are already rather close to them and that all of the important dynamics that make relationships (like mystery for instance) have faded away.

But in my honest opinion, those things increase even more. I have always believed that it is far more difficult to maintain a relationship than anything else just because it requires more work. It is easy to be interesting to a person you just met, but to be interesting to a person that has seen you for the last year and a half... damn difficult. On a final note, I must caution you. I understand the feelings that you may have for this girl, but you must understand that in telling her how you feel... you very well may lose her as a friend. Or even if you guys enter a relationship and it does not work out... you may lose her as a friend. Think about if you can honestly handle that possibly... if you can... then Godspeed my friend.

Good luck... St. Iscariot

 

[Void]

Originally posted by Jerky Boi
The main question you really have to ask yourself is "Is my friendship with this girl worth risking to date her?" If the answer to that is yes, then go for it. If not, you're standing on shaky ground.

More than likely, if you guys break up, the true test of friendship will arise. Usually the whole friends thing first doesn't work out for a lot of guys. I went out with one of my close "girl" friends a few years ago and it didn't really turn out well. But, if you said you were pretty close friends with her to begin with, you might have a reasonable chance of retaining her friendship if you guys actually break up.

Above all else, you're taking a big risk. I'd wait a little while, see if her interest in you rises, maybe ask her out on a few dates, and see where everything goes. If her body language and her attitude doesn't change from friend to possible bf, then don't ask her out.

First of all i don't believe that most guys are even interersted in any girl for a FRIENDSHIP.
Ok and to answer your question in my opinion i think you should just keep upping the kino more and more. And if she stops you from doing something that seems like more of a girlfriend/boyfriend thing then i don't believe she's interested in you.

 

[Kidd]

Well, a few things arise...

First of all, this chick is not really that experienced in dating. She had 6 bf's since 6th grade (she is in 11th, I am in 10th). She says she doesent like to call her BF's.

She says she has also never even kissed a guy, and when someone tries to kiss her, she gets really shy.

Another reason I want to ask her out, is that she says she might be moving to a different state next fall, and I might regret it for the rest of my life. This might or might not happen, however.

But aside from everything, she's a really great girl.

All the attraction signs are there; in the past 3 weeks we hung out 5 times, and all those times she ended up trying to put her arm around me, hold my hand, cuddle with me, ect.

It is all up to my decision. I want to keep her as a great friend she is, and I want to date her, in which she doesent seem so experienced in.

I must think.

 

[BaseBallDJ]

Don't consider something so stupid.

 

[Jizamurai]

Yeah, definetely consider the risks... carefully!

By what you've told us, she either has a very high IL in you or she thinks you're gay.

You don't need to outright tell her how you feel. She is the one that will decide if something more than friendship will happen and she'll express this through her actions, and by that i don't mean you should wait until she decides to make a move on you. It won't happen. So unless she suddenly decides to "jump you" one night (and don't count on it), you are the one that is gonna have to make some sort of move. Again, don't express it through words... her behaviour when she's around you should tell all... and then again you just might need to step out on a limb. If she still rejects you, then oh well. Acknowledge and accept it (And be cool about it!!! acting awkward about it is the main reason it would make anything wierd), and then if the friendship was worth anything to her to begin with, she'll still want to be friends.

Also, if you make the decision to go forward with this then it would be a good idea to read Senor Fingers' post on
Escaping the friend zone Excellent stuff...

good luck

 

[LikRetsam]

Definatly worth it if you can pull it off and enter the relationship.... definatly worth it.

 

[Luscious]

Originally posted by Kidd
I am going to ask a really close female friend out. I had a crush on her for some time. I got over her, but now I am falling for her again..

Me and this chick are REALLY good friends. When we hang out, we both have a great time, no matter what we do. We always end up cuddling and holding hands. Also, she actually has goals and things going for her in life, and is not like those superficial drama chicks. She's just a great, fun person.

This is the question for those of you who in the past went from being friends to a LTR:

Is it really worth it in the end?

If we started a relationship and it ended after some time, would it still be possible to remain friends? Would it still be the same?

Thanks.

Well, here's your options.

a) Get it done and over with and get with HER

b) Don't do anything and wait for her to make the first move, which is highly unlikely to happen because the MAN should be making the moves

c) Wait for some other guy to come in and take her

Well, which option looks most attractive to you? That's what I thought.

In case you've experienced a lobotomy lately, the correct answer is (a).

Also, watch the oneitis.

 

[tonysat]

you should ask her out, but leave her if she rejects you . there is no point being friends with a girl who ur attrratced to and they`ll end up using u ... ( which ive read on some post here, and experienced this first hand)

its bull**** to become friends with a girl after u've asked them out, they`ll tell u about the guys they ****ed , etc etc... long list...

i've been through it and its depressing. just left the girl i ****ed and then friends with after that till she told me she ****ed another guy .

two things to consider:

1) you r willing to risk friendship - this means you are gonne have the balls to walk away the moment she says no. dont tell her to make a choice between you as a bf or absolutely nothing.
she will definitely stop you coz u been close for a while, but thats when you gotta find your balls.

AND

2) the moment she throws lets just be friends and if you stay friends. she`ll use U , thiz is for sure.

hope i helped.. ive read all this on some post here & i've experienced all this first hand.

IF you really dont believe us, experience it, u`ll be back within 6 months on this forum.

cheers

 

[ak5]

i only read the first sentence (not even all of it) and all i can say is:

DONT.

Keep female friends, good looking ones espeically, make them pawns, theyll be girls u can go back to if sum other girl dumps you/rejects you, you two can chill, joke etc


think twice about doing that.

only go for her if she asks u first.

 

[Kidd]

I have made up my mind.

I am going ice skating with her this saturday, and I shall make my move.