Date with HB last night

[like2jam]

So last night I had a date with a total hotty. She's very close to a 9 or higher. Blonde, 5'6", totally fit, amazing green eyes, face, smile, etc. Oh, she's also 12 years younger than I am. Honestly, her face is so pretty that it's almost distracting. I had to concentrate hard on staying on the conversation.

I'm definitely not close to a 9 in my own opinion. I wasn't expecting much going into the date, but I was pleasantly surprised.

We shared a bottle of Sake and some food. We ended up staying for 3 hours staring each other down with hardcore eye contact, laughing, smiling, conversing, etc.

After we left, she commented on the bar across the street and said that if she didn't have to volunteer for x today, she'd want to go over there with me and drink more. That was the only hint at the end though that she wanted more time with me. I probably should have said ' another time then ' or something at this point.

I'm still not always sure how to end first dates. I walked her to her car, we hugged, and sent her on her way. The location was on a busy street so there wasn't much time to linger there or to go for more. I think we were both playing it a bit cool ( she's also was well aware that I was recently freaked out by a woman coming on way to strong recently ), so now we're in the limbo post date, not knowing if we'll see each other again. I'm waiting to see if I hear from her a while before I decide when I'll send something back to her.

( So, is there a DJ consensus on this? Do you wait to hear from her, or do you follow up first? )

Regardless of whether I see her again or not, I feel like the date was successful compared to some recent dates I've been on. You really can't judge a book by a cover or a woman by her hotness.

Also, I think in her case, she's interested in much more than a man's looks. She's interested in personality and substance before she decides how attracted to someone she is.

 

[mr. kennedy]

Where did you meet her?

If I enjoyed my first date and didn't make out with the girl, I usually end with "I enjoyed myself today, we should do it again. I'll contact you in the next few days".

 

[like2jam]

Met her on OKC. In fact, she contacted me. I almost never initiate contact on there.

Thanks for your feedback. That sounds good.

 

[Checkmate12]

Where did you meet her?

If I enjoyed my first date and didn't make out with the girl, I usually end with "I enjoyed myself today, we should do it again. I'll contact you in the next few days".

This is where I have to disagree. I think you should always optimize the amount of time that a woman spends thinking "I wonder if he's going to call?" With each passing hour/day her interest level rises just a little more. She shouldnt be certain that you are going to contact her again until the moment that she sees your number pop up on her phone.

As far as the length of time you should wait:.. Ideally you want her to contact you first, so give her a chance to do so. If you dont hear anything in 4-6 days, Id give her a call and set up another date. You have momentum coming off of the first date so waiting longer than a week could be harmful to that, but you dont want to seem too eager either, you have a very successful social life of your own after all!

You got this man, solid work on the first date.

 

[like2jam]

Checkmate12, yeah, I recently had another date that went well and I felt like I made it too obvious at the end that I was in a hurry to see her again. I think this is why I've reversed that approach and have decided to keep them guessing after I leave.

I appreciate your feedback. Not sure though on waiting 6 days. This is where it's challenging. Too long and interest is forgotten and too soon and you're overly eager. I'm hoping that I'll hear from her first.

 

[Checkmate12]

I appreciate your feedback. Not sure though on waiting 6 days. This is where it's challenging. Too long and interest is forgotten and too soon and you're overly eager. I'm hoping that I'll hear from her first.

If her interest level was moderate to high at the conclusion of the first date then it will definitely not be forgotten in 6 days. Would you forget your interest in her in 6 days or even 12 days? Of course not. But honestly there is no hard and fast rule for the maximum number of days, you kinda just have to have a feel for it and that kind of intuition comes with going through this "limbo" situation over and over again. Best of luck bud.

 

[cordoncordon]

I would not wait 6 days personally. Three reasons. One, these internet girls get hit on so much on these dating sites that in 6 days she could be talking to 5 other guys by then. Two, waiting 6 days to contact could make her say to herself that you aren't interested and so mentally, she may just move on. You don't want that. Third, if you wait until Friday or so to contact her, how are you supposed to set up another date for next weekend? You can't. That is cutting it way too close. Make her wait, but not too long.

If you don't hear from her, I would contact her in 3 days and try to set something up for next weekend.

Good luck.

 

[Checkmate12]

I would not wait 6 days personally. Three reasons. One, these internet girls get hit on so much on these dating sites that in 6 days she could be talking to 5 other guys by then. Two, waiting 6 days to contact could make her say to herself that you aren't interested and so mentally, she may just move on. You don't want that. Third, if you wait until Friday or so to contact her, how are you supposed to set up another date for next weekend? You can't. That is cutting it way too close. Make her wait, but not too long.

If you don't hear from her, I would contact her in 3 days and try to set something up for next weekend.

Good luck.

I think you make a valid point cordon. Although waiting much longer is exactly what separates him from all the other chumps who are going to contact her in the next couple days. Like2jam is not needy or too eager and he's not going to do exactly what she expects (thus negating his mystery factor) which is contacting her in the couple days following. By day 5 she might be a little upset that he hasn't called yet. Perfect. So when she finally gets that call the contrast from disappointed to enthusiastic/relieved will be much greater.

Also, like2jam has a successful social life and already has plans for the weekend. I think asking her out for a week night will scream 'value' as well. But Im just brainstorming out loud.

 

[VladPatton]

Do something during the week 3-4 days after the first date. See where she stands time-wise as well. Don't dedicate the weekend time to her. Not yet. Short dates are in your favor since it will leave her craving more after each one, possibly even making her take initiative to ask you to do something. Everything is based on her attraction to you. And that in itself fluctuates daily.

It's all case by case, so just experiment, and don't be afraid to let her go if something's not right. Just because she's pretty doesn't mean you have to trust her 100% right off the bat, especially a girl off a dating site. Have you stopped to think that if she is so pretty, why is she on a dating site? Why can't she sit at a bar for 3 minutes and snag a dude? Is she an escort? Nuts?

You don't know yet, you just met her....online. See what happens in the next few dates.

Keep us posted and good luck.

 

[like2jam]

Well, another one bites the dust.

I didn't hear from her, so I invited her out again. She finally got back to me and at least gave it to me straight. She said, oh, had a great time, great dialog, etc. but didn't feel any chemistry. ( which means, not attracted, didn't want the D, etc. )

I just wish she would have ended the date earlier ( 3 damn hours? ) and insisted on splitting the check.

 

[BeDJ]

ALWAYS go for the kiss during/end of the first date. Gauge her response, if she says no or is hesitant, that's a sign of low interest.

On the first date, take her out on multiple places so she feels it's not just a first date. If she agrees to your ideas, it's a good sign of interest. This has been my subtle IoI.

You can only hope to know where you stand with a given woman. You just have to take advantage of every opportunity to escalate and see what you can get away with. Not only does it gauge interest on her part, but it allows you to 'create' that chemistry if she was interested in you. On to the next....

 

[Zarky]

She's very close to a 9 or higher.

Translation: She's a 7 with makeup.

After we left, she commented on the bar across the street and said that if she didn't have to volunteer for x today, she'd want to go over there with me and drink more. [...] I probably should have said ' another time then ' or something at this point.

No, you should have said, "Well f*ck the volunteering, let's go drink."

I'm still not always sure how to end first dates.

You f*ck her and then come on her tits, that's how you end first dates.

I walked her to her car, we hugged, and sent her on her way.

Great date if you're a eunuch!

she's also was well aware that I was recently freaked out by a woman coming on way to strong recently

Good lord why would you tell a woman this? We want women to come on strong -- sexually that is.

 

[like2jam]

I need to figure out how to get the date out of boring dialog about our freaking 'lives' and flirt more. I need to figure out how to make the conversation more fun and more in the moment. I could barely run any kino on her, only when I first showed up. Otherwise, she was across the table and out of reach for the whole time.

I need work.

Another very expensive fvcking lesson.

One thing that I'm guilty of is playing so aloof that I probably come off as not giving much of a sh!t. I barely compliment women, if at all, because I don't want to inflate their egos.

Need more kino. Need more flirting. Need more moves. Need balls. Need to kiss close at least if attracted.

 

[Kailex]

Expensive lesson... but a lesson nonetheless.

NO DINNER DATES.
Stop feeding women.

Why do men consistently keep doing this? Even I was guilty of this 2 months ago... and after $100, was quickly reminded of the fact.

Listen, brother... I've had women plan second and third dates with me while they were on the first date... only to never hear from them again. You just keep trying. Remember, you are one of many men who find her face too attractive to concentrate on what she is saying.

Next time, coffee, a couple of drinks, etc... etc... etc...

And SHE isn't going to cut the date short... YOU have to.

And it'd avoid all this mess...

But the most important takeaway of all of this: NO MORE DINNER DATES.

And if a girl you are talking to suggest she wants a dinner date and no other options... then you don't go out with her. Simple as that.

Good luck on your next endeavor.

 

[like2jam]

Ok, but if you're on a date with a HB on a Sat night, and you're having what you feel is a great date, are you really going to cut it short?

Only thing I can think of is to suggest going to another place and if she says no, then you have your true IOI and you can bail.

 

[BeDJ]

I need to figure out how to get the date out of boring dialog about our freaking 'lives' and flirt more. I need to figure out how to make the conversation more fun and more in the moment. I could barely run any kino on her, only when I first showed up. Otherwise, she was across the table and out of reach for the whole time.

You start the first date with a public place to ease her in. Early in the conversation, let her do 80% of the talking by asking her questions. Key questions you HAVE to ask.

What does she do for work?
Who does she live with?
What's her work schedule?
Where her family lives?
Where she lives at?

She'll ask you the same questions. Sometimes answer playfully. Sometimes answer teasingly. Sometimes answer straightfoward. Sometimes answer with a vivid story. After 20-30 minutes:

Isolate.

Change the venue to somewhere more private. Lakes and parks have treated me well. I have taken first dates to an empty medical plaza with champagne. Bring out that stupid exciting feeling side that women love. Don't tell her where you are going, just a simple 'Hey, let's do something fun, maybe dangerous.' By leading the conversation in the beginning, they will bite. I have never had someone reject, which I kick myself for not doing it every first date.

You're at the place, not it's time to redirect the conversation much more flirty. Ask about tattoos or piercings she has or wants. If you have one that's not visible, tell her it was from when you were young and looks stupid. Ask where, touch that spot. Ask her where her ticklish spot is. She'll ask about yours. Don't tell her. Ultimately, you want to perk her stupid curiosity. Trigger a spark to allow her to think about your body. Put your arm over her shoulder and GENTLY GENTLY pull her pull her 1/3 of the way towards you. If goes the rest of the way, you're good to go in for the kiss.

Now, SNL may be a possibility. Suggest another drink. This part is tricky because you have to go with a seed you planted during the date. You have to give her a compelling reason to go back to your place. I've done the 'show/teach her one of your skills,' quick snack and pick up food/drinks near your grocery store or smoking hookah. I've had a few tell me about something in their house and I told them they should show me. You have to throw some bait. If they don't bite cut the date shortly after.

Sometimes you get lucky, but you won't know if you don't ask for it.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Ok, but if you're on a date with a HB on a Sat night, and you're having what you feel is a great date, are you really going to cut it short?

Only thing I can think of is to suggest going to another place and if she says no, then you have your true IOI and you can bail.

Kailex doesn't literally mean cut it short.

He means you, as the man should end the date first, preferably when its at a good point & yes ALWAYS go for the kiss close when there is momentum.

All that playing it cool business does is make a woman forget about you.

Also all that debate on when to contact a girl truly depends on the situation. In today's instant gratification society (social media, online dating), I've found that contacting a girl sooner works better because your striking when the iron is hot.

Remember girls are emotional, you didn't kiss her, it looks like you told her about some baggage big no no esp on a 1st date). Focus on having fun, I think you realize this already, so that's good.

Also, don't give a woman so much value just because of her looks. No offense, but I could tell after reading the first sentence of your post that you had her on a pedestal.

Lastly, a super attractive woman, that is on an online dating site and contacted you first............ reason to be suspicious already.

Zarky has this one right, you should've have dominated her with your masculinity, taken her back to your place and banged her, that's what she wanted.











PIMP

 

[dosquito]

You start the first date with a public place to ease her in. Early in the conversation, let her do 80% of the talking by asking her questions. Key questions you HAVE to ask.

What does she do for work?
Who does she live with?
What's her work schedule?
Where her family lives?
Where she lives at?

She'll ask you the same questions. Sometimes answer playfully. Sometimes answer teasingly. Sometimes answer straightfoward. Sometimes answer with a vivid story. After 20-30 minutes:

Isolate.

Change the venue to somewhere more private. Lakes and parks have treated me well. I have taken first dates to an empty medical plaza with champagne. Bring out that stupid exciting feeling side that women love. Don't tell her where you are going, just a simple 'Hey, let's do something fun, maybe dangerous.' By leading the conversation in the beginning, they will bite. I have never had someone reject, which I kick myself for not doing it every first date.

You're at the place, not it's time to redirect the conversation much more flirty. Ask about tattoos or piercings she has or wants. If you have one that's not visible, tell her it was from when you were young and looks stupid. Ask where, touch that spot. Ask her where her ticklish spot is. She'll ask about yours. Don't tell her. Ultimately, you want to perk her stupid curiosity. Trigger a spark to allow her to think about your body. Put your arm over her shoulder and GENTLY GENTLY pull her pull her 1/3 of the way towards you. If goes the rest of the way, you're good to go in for the kiss.

Now, SNL may be a possibility. Suggest another drink. This part is tricky because you have to go with a seed you planted during the date. You have to give her a compelling reason to go back to your place. I've done the 'show/teach her one of your skills,' quick snack and pick up food/drinks near your grocery store or smoking hookah. I've had a few tell me about something in their house and I told them they should show me. You have to throw some bait. If they don't bite cut the date shortly after.

Sometimes you get lucky, but you won't know if you don't ask for it.

Dude I can tell that you're actually successful because Ive noticed that the true DJ's play almost the exact same script. One of my best new friends is a 9/10 has done modeling before. he ALWAYS (when he was single) did the same routine. tell the girl that you're "going on an adventure" then take them there. The excitement immediately sets you apart from all other guys. Climbing to the roofs of buildings = instant wet *****. He has taken dozens of girls to the same place, same routine. Find some spots that are good for dates and keep reusing them.

 

[like2jam]

Awesome, great advice. I have a lot of catching up to do.

It does suck a bit, because opportunities like the one Sat night come along far and few between now days.

Anyway, NEXT! I have a drink date lined up for tomorrow evening.

 

[dosquito]

Its all good like2jam, you got a good attitude man.

I think you delayed escalation cuz you were fearing rejection from such a beautiful lady. but obviously that didn't help you.

actually you should have the opposite mindset. you already got her to go out on a date with you. Now make her prove that she isn't just using you. Make her either admit that she wants you or bug off and stop wasting your time . You would have been better off going for the kiss close that night, then if she shut you down you KNOW.