"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Date with a lawyer tomorrow!!

cordoncordon

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ketostix said:
LOL. That's the problem with iqqi, her advice is so pro-female it's ridiculous. She always gives the benefit of doubt to her fellow sisters.
I disagree. I actually think she is a pretty sage offerer of advice here.

But anyway...as for the date and the aftermath and what you did or didn't do wrong.

I say just go out, have fun, DO what YOU WANT TO DO, and don't try to over analyze things. It will drive you, and her eventually, crazy.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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cordoncordon said:
...I say just go out, have fun, DO what YOU WANT TO DO, and don't try to over analyze things. It will drive you, and her eventually, crazy.
MNIN has already seen crazy... :p
 
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I am remembering a couple more details about the date. When we came back into her place she was showing me around, but she didn't show me upstairs because she stated "I don't need to see the upstairs we won't be going into her room".. or something. So that told me she didn't want to do it. Not that I don't think I could have changed her mind, ofcourse. I can't believe I didn't try to hit it. If she got me drunk I probably would have. Keep reading to see how she was about to bring out the liquor.

Then when things were getting hot on the sofa and I let her know I didn't want to do it on the first date she started talking about bringing me shots of liquor and she would do "whatever it takes".. whatever that meant. So I told her to start bringing out the shots as long as I can crash there. But she never brought the shots and eventually I just left.

I agree about making myself too avail. That was a bad move to tell her we can go out this weekend. I sent her a message just saying "thanks for the date" and she didn't reply but it's only been an hour. I probably won't call her until next week.

A lot of things I could have done better I agree. I have no idea if I'll ever see her again. She even said when we were making out that we'll "probably never see each other again"

But I think she was just joking since I was joking like that with her all night. Because when I left, she said she did want to get together again.
 
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Last Man Standing said:
I'm still baffled by the "I won't see a woman again if we have sex on the first date" proclamation?
I said that because I decided early I didn't want to do it on the first date. Ofcourse she starts talking about sex and that came out of my mouth. I don't think it was a good line.

The more I think about it the more I think she wanted to get hammered last night and I'm not talking about drunk.

I have to wonder about women who use the internet to get one night stands... I think I'll pass to be honest.
 
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Mr. Me said:
This I find interesting. Typically, when the woman pays it all, especially the first date, it tends to signify that she doesn't want to feel obligated, which in turn means she's not that interested, though even with low interest, some will still kiss you if they think you're gorgeous.

But she also mentioned "The Future" in that she spoke about you taking care of the bill next time around, which may indicate that she is thinking to see you again. At least at that moment in time she was. That could still mean that she's on the fence, though.



I'd file that under "possible flag" for the time being. Seems to go with her medium interest level.
Mr Me,

She paid because I asked her "where are you buying me dinner?".. And she was like "I'll buy you dinner"...

So she went with it and picked up the tab. I questioned it and let her know I was joking and she said I could get it next time.

I forgot to mention when I went to the bathroom @ her place my cell dropped on the sofa and when I came back SHE WENT THROUGH IT and was questioning me about the girls that were in my phone. She went through the name directory and my text message inbox. And started saying the girls names that were in my phone asking me details like "who are they".

Yeah, she's sane. What do you think about that?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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jophil28

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My Name is Nobody said:
I forgot to mention when I went to the bathroom @ her place my cell dropped on the sofa and when I came back SHE WENT THROUGH IT and was questioning me about the girls that were in my phone. She went through the name directory and my text message inbox. And started saying the girls names that were in my phone asking me details like "who are they".

Yeah, she's sane. What do you think about that?
When you retreived your phone from her prying grasp you should have retrieved what was left of your self regard and walked out .
I am having difficulty believing that some of the events in your posts about this date are historical fact.
 

cordoncordon

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My Name is Nobody said:
I said that because I decided early I didn't want to do it on the first date. Ofcourse she starts talking about sex and that came out of my mouth. I don't think it was a good line.

The more I think about it the more I think she wanted to get hammered last night and I'm not talking about drunk.

I have to wonder about women who use the internet to get one night stands... I think I'll pass to be honest.
You're gonna talk yourself right into calling her pretty soon and telling her you aren't interested......aren't you????
 

cordoncordon

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jophil28 said:
When you retreived your phone from her prying grasp you should have retrieved what was left of your self regard and walked out .
I am having difficulty believing that some of the events in your posts about this date are historical fact.
This is going to end.............badly.
 
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jophil28 said:
When you retreived your phone from her prying grasp you should have retrieved what was left of your self regard and walked out .
I am having difficulty believing that some of the events in your posts about this date are historical fact.

What exactly are you having trouble believeing? I don't make things up.

And she wasn't holding the phone when I returned. She was trying to be sneaky but gave herself away when she admitted she knew the names in my phone and started asking me about them.

For some reason I was answering her explaining who the girls were. What was I thinking? I should have told her it's none of her business. I did call her "nosy" though.



cordoncordon said:
This is going to end.............badly.
I'm still not sure I am even going to see her again. We'll see.... I'm going to call her next week sometime. Just another crazy damaged divorcee most likely. I told you guys I do well with those. I have never dated a divorcee I haven't liked...in the beginning. It NEVER ends well.

But, I have to try and close the deal now.


Mr. Me said:
Wow! You mean she looked like Jack McCoy??????? Great hair!
LOL!! That was great.
 
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cordoncordon said:
You're gonna talk yourself right into calling her pretty soon and telling her you aren't interested......aren't you????

What makes you think I'm not interested?? I would never call a woman just to tell her that. I just wouldn't call.. what would the point be?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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iqqi said:
No, but then again I am not the type to try and sleep with a guy that I don't know, either.

lol.. she did keep saying that I "don't know her"... I have a feeling she is a real B!tch and she was just showing me her nice side.
 

iqqi

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Mr. Me said:
What my esteemed colleague from across the aisle overlooks is that what Momma actually done told me was "watch how your dates treat the hired hands" in terms of being respectful, courteous and treating them with dignity. But Momma didn't mean it's okay if your date flirts with the cute waiter.

Momma also done told me to watch how your date treats you! So if your date done flirt with the waiter, that means she's being real disrespectful to you. And a shrink done told me that, hey, maybe she's flirting with the waiter because she likes getting the attention, so if you wanna keep on dating this broad, expect that she's done gonna flirt with every guy she done sees, in front of you, as long as she's alive.

"My Momma done tol' me, 'Son, a woman'll sweet talk
And give ya the big eye,
but when the sweet talkin's done
A woman's a two-face,
A worrisome thing who'll
Leave ya to sing
the blues in the night'"
Cute. Can I help you down off of your high horse now? Or you can stay up there... whatever makes you feel good about yourself.

Anyways, I think that you are taking the flirting thing way too harshly. Some people are naturally flirtacious, it doesn't mean anything, and it is pretty trivial. Some of the more charismatic people I have met were flirtacious in their general fun loving nature, but not to the point where I thought I was actually being hit on. You can tell the difference.

Some people are too insecure to handle that type. But it is so silly.
 
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iqqi said:
Cute. Can I help you down off of your high horse now? Or you can stay up there... whatever makes you feel good about yourself.

Anyways, I think that you are taking the flirting thing way too harshly. Some people are naturally flirtacious, it doesn't mean anything, and it is pretty trivial. Some of the more charismatic people I have met were flirtacious in their general fun loving nature, but not to the point where I thought I was actually being hit on. You can tell the difference.

Some people are too insecure to handle that type. But it is so silly.
Remember we were in her town and she goes to that bar alot. So she probably already knew the server.

Then when I saw she tipped him almost 10 dollars I said "no wonder he likes you so much!"
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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iqqi

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Last Man Standing said:
I'm still baffled by the "I won't see a woman again if we have sex on the first date" proclamation?
I am more disturbed by this statement:

joekerr31 said:
you know what is funny. why is it that women are often hotter dressed than undressed?
That isn't natural!!!
 

iqqi

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My Name is Nobody said:
Remember we were in her town and she goes to that bar alot. So she probably already knew the server.

Then when I saw she tipped him almost 10 dollars I said "no wonder he likes you so much!"
Well then duh. If she is a regular, that is why they are so friendly. And it isn't unusual for a generous person to tip like that. When I waited tables, my regulars would leave outrageous tips.

So it WAS harmless, fun flirting between them. That is the way it tends to go in the service industry.
 

iqqi

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My Name is Nobody said:
To be able to keep her interested and have her call me 20 times a day.
Lol, then do what I said, and ignore the dumb advice that says invite her over for a movie. What are we, in high school!? If this woman is over 25, do NOT do that. Yet! Don't get too comfortable this early.

Read up on some of Senor Fingers old posts to get your pysche right. It was either him or Pook that talked about what it meant to bring a woman into your world.
 
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iqqi said:
Lol, then do what I said, and ignore the dumb advice that says invite her over for a movie. What are we, in high school!? If this woman is over 25, do NOT do that. Yet! Don't get too comfortable this early.

Read up on some of Senor Fingers old posts to get your pysche right. It was either him or Pook that talked about what it meant to bring a woman into your world.

Yeah we were talking about what to do and I told her to come watch a movie at my place. But that was after a few beers. I don't want to actually call her with that invitation. We'll go out again then she can come back to my place. But I won't be calling for awhile. She sent me an email before the date that I never replied to. So I went ahead and replied with even more C+F we'll see if I get an answer.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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