"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Date went fine until this happened! How should I respond?

Serg897

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This is nothing but a chick disrespecting you and your time. If she is going to let an ex get in the way of having fun with you thats not someone you need in your life. Keep the door open for another date if it seems like she might want it, otherwise you can next her early.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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scrouds

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She's a class a slÿt. She wanted to get laid. You needed to move quicker. If you go in for a simple kiss and she immediately escalates it by pulling you in, you need to move quick.

In this case, you probably didn't escalate at the bar. When you left to take a leak, she made her excuses and left.

If it makes you feel better, its a lot harder to read this stuff on the fly then it is to sit back in my arm chair and type about it. But that's how we learn.
 

thevilittletroll

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i had a couple of similar situations from girls i met off pof. my question to you is was the kiss a good one? open mouth tongue? or just a peck or was she a really bad kisser? i went on 3 dates with girls i met off pof, had great dates with all them. there was good conversation, lots of kino, little kisses here and there, had a lot of fun on the dates, but none of these 3 girls ever went out with me again. it all comes down to the kiss bro. if it was a crappy kiss, that should be a sign and means it was a fake kiss. she was trying to be polite to avoid confrontation. she's out on a first date with a strange guy she met on the internet. she has to have up her defenses. even if she did see her ex and it upset her, doesnt give her the excuse to blow you off. if you build up enough attraction, it wont matter. bottom line when women are attracted to you, they chase you. i would leave her a voicemail just calling to see whats up? and thats it, if and when you see her again the ex bf thing never happened. my guess is she wont call you back, you should move on regardless. its always to your advatage in any situation to date multiple women.
 

the_stig

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When I read she was from pof my opinion instantly went from give her the benefit of the doubt to FLAKE! The sky is the limit to the excuses and general weird sh!t you get from there. Don't waste your time trying to game her, it won't work. Girls on there simply have too many options and too much attention to be bothered. I've had awesome dates with unreal interest levels and they simply vanish overnight.

Treat POF like a sex stop, get laid if you can, and don't invest anything in them (including buying drinks/dinner). If you're lucky you'll get a few dates/sex before they fade away for the above reasons. Don't let your guard down either, there's the occasional diamond in the rough but most are players, AWs, or just talking to more guys than you can comprehend. That's just how it is on that site.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Lucifero

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DannyM said:
Went out on a date with some HB 9....got on well had lots in common, went to watch a film she was playing with my arm etc, anyway we are at the cinema and I go in for the kiss and she basically grabs me and kisses me....everything seems to be going smooth, I suggest we goto a bar and she says yeah...good idea!
Why didnt you take her back to your place or hers? She obviously wanted to ****.

You blew it. :kick:
 

SoSuaveScorp

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Once is a hiccup. Twice is coincidence. Three times a pattern.

Depending on how busy you are, you may strike her out early. It depends on how you feel about it.

Take it for what it is - seeing her ex upset her. And, she didn't have the self control to keep that to herself. Now, ask yourself, is this something you'd allow once, or something you absolutely cannot compromise on?

Also remember that not everything has to be a battle.

It's up to you what you do. Don't overanalyze, because you don't know anything about the situation.


hits the nail on the head. Advice from a pro
 

cablecow15

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bet you anything she got home and texted / called all of her friends to talk trash on his new gf lol
 

annette<3

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She's a person, remember. She probably used to love him at one point and something caused that to change. Just be there for her. I'd try to talk to her about it and maybe comfort a bit. You don't need to get into details.

Everyone else calls her a ***** but clearly it just hit a sore spot emotionally so who can blame her for wanting to leave. :( Good luck
 

DannyM

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Ok Today which is 6 Days later i get a txt saying Hello you! x. Any ideas how to respond to this?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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loveshogun

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DannyM said:
Ok Today which is 6 Days later i get a txt saying Hello you! x. Any ideas how to respond to this?
What you need to know:

1) What do you actually want/expect from this girl?
2) Are there other things going on in your life?
3) Will this be any trouble for you?

If the answers are:

1) I have low expectations but am willing to go on one more date.
2) I have enough going on in my life where if this doesn't pan out, I can just move on.
3) This will be minimal trouble for me.

Then just call/text her with an offer of a place and time.

If this will cause you trouble, or if you're too attached, or if you expect too much, then I'd say back off for a while - respond to be polite, but back off and find what you're looking for elsewhere.
 

thevilittletroll

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i'd ask her over to your place, cook her dinner. that way you dont have to worry about running into her x again. plus your kitchen is a lot closer to your bedroom than a resturant or bar.
 

pipe007

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respond with "hey you, whats up?"
and play it cool. See if she is the one who wants to ask you out. Don't ask her out. if she keeps texting you, then ask her out in a couple of days. FInd out what she wants first.
 

sinnerman

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annette<3 said:
She's a person, remember. She probably used to love him at one point and something caused that to change. Just be there for her. I'd try to talk to her about it and maybe comfort a bit. You don't need to get into details.
cant believe im reading this on ss. you're advising him to become her therapist or a girlfriend over whose shoulders she can cry about the ex ?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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DannyM

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In the end I decided not to reply...the whole way she acted before has definately put me off and I have a few other girls ims eeing who don't **** me around like that.
 
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