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Date, testing boundaries.

Serenity

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I'm sort of chasing a girl right now, I'm interested in potentially having a relationship with her. On the basis of that I gotta rationally think things through, decide and commit to those decisions. Simultaneously I gotta keep up to speed with dates and actually enjoy it. I had her over at my place today and I'm seeing the practical effects of my current philosophy. I had to take initiative on several pieces of information that might not be obvious to everyone. I know she wants to take it slow, I know she acts passive, but I also know she's interested. I know I can't wait too long to get physical, but I have no clue whatsoever about what she expects. All of that means one thing, exploration and boundry testing.

I got her close to me simply by suggesting it, I started touching and holding her on arms etc. No clues that she wants more, but isn't resisting my advances. Later I'm trying to figure out when to go for the kiss, had no signs whatsoever. Found a moment of awkward silence and just did it, I like those moments because what else is there to do? Anyways she was going along with it, still no more clues though.

I was now considering wether or not to attempt going all the way, I decided on trying. After having talked and stuff another silence came around, I grabbed the opportunity. She was holding me a bit more now and a bit more into it, guess the first time was slightly uncomfortable. While doing this I was trying to figure out how to proceed, I ended up running my hands under her top to feel her skin. I progressed upwards, and then she tells me she wants to wait. I slowly pull out my hands, kiss her some more and tell her it's alright.

She's then making it clear she's interested, but likes to take it slow. I do agree on that being a good idea, and I'm actually satisfied that she stopped me. I know I'm not going to fvck this one unless there's something more going on. Which is fine, because that's what I want anyways.

Now about her, the facts I know and inferences I made. A friend couple set me up with her, so I feel pretty safe she's not batsh!t crazy although all women are to some extent. I'm saving myself a lot of work by having friends describe me as she will obviously hear things about me through them. This is good because I know they will say good things about me. Also I hear things as well which helps me to more easily figure out what to do, like I heard that I should probably text a bit more. (I know this one goes against the general philosophy on here, but I know how to not fvck it up). I briefly checked her Facebook, and it doesn't seem like she has orbiters. Simply put I get the impression that she's not fvcking around, and that if she's going down any road with a guy it's serious.

Most importantly though I've not had any red flags, she re-scheduled to come see me and she doesn't play games. She also works, have a stable family (for all I know) and seems to get as annoyed in traffic as I do. I like the fact that she wants to take it slow, it means her interest won't die off quickly (unless I royally fvck it up) and I have lots of time to make moves.

Obviously I'm interested, else I wouldn't have analyzed all this. I'm posting it as a reference for other guys if they happen to be in a relatable situation.
 

salinechow

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I am doing something very similar right now. I had an epiphany while this girl was literally showing me (in her bed) how she likes to be cuddled and what kind of sounds she makes when she climaxes.

Here is my advice; She has LOW IL. She gets off on rejecting you. Its a power thing.

HOWEVER, you can sleep with her, and, develop it further, if you so choose. PULL BACK!. Way back. It will take time but you need to get herself doubting and wondering why you stopped advancing. Tension! Tension is key. Then, eventually, she will throw herself at your feet. If you really need I can share more details in a Pm or read my other posts about the 21 year old I have spinning.

Again, this is a subconscious power struggle and anti slvt defense. You’ll be fine, as long as you dont pursue. She likes you, no doubt, her LOW IL is internal and (probably) not your fault. Recoil, but still see her. Trust me, she will beg for it.

Let’s check back with each other in a few weeks. Bet I’m right. About yours and mine!

Thanks SS! A few months ago I would have doted on this chick( mine) Now, I play chess and don’t care if I lose!

OP_ Listen to the DJs. I can see the deal here, trust me.
 
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